DiaryLand members area

Where is clarity25? Recent vacation blog - http://twoshotsoftequila.blogspot.com/ "Eric's" Photobucket account - http://s795.photobucket.com/home/sketchbookshark/index

from lovesbrendon :

you suck!!! i hate you!!

from dinosaurorgy :

The thing that amuses me most about scientology is the fact that it was created pretty much as a total joke. I can't believe that anyone actually believes that Erich Von Daniken-appropriate nonsense.

from hedgehoggy :

It is interesting to note how people feel it is within their power to fire someone even if they have nothing to do with the job. How come no one stands up to Jesse Jackson's need for fame? The Race Card would be pulled every hour on the hour as an excuse. Don Imus is kind of new to me but everyone says something that's just out of humor. Michael Richards is just an angry old racist, though.

from hedgehoggy :

FLAVA FLAV!!! The blog war I was talking about took place because 3 women decided to take it upon themselves to trash my favorite blogger (the winner) about the fact that her boobies are on full display quite often. Plus, this fave blogger just so happens to be more interesting than all this discussion on Wal-Mart, quilts, and Sex And the City. It's really weird when people fight for a superficial award. Besides, I love this girl for her weirdness and total dominance even if her writing is not exactly up to par. The sight of tits kind of puts it all in persepective.

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, nakey? Sara has some but I don't know if she wants my naked butt shown. There was a very red handprint on my ass. Fun times, I tell ya. About 40something more pictures to add next week when I get more developed. Oh, and as for Lionel Richie, it is pathetic when 2 drunk males sing "Say You, Say Me" late at night. Bald-O and I are special.

from nicim :

I continue my journey at http://cunhell.diaryland.com Kisses.. N

from hedgehoggy :

Flash Gordon. The. Damn. Thing. Was. On. Everyday. Way back when, I'd turn on good ol' HBO or Cinemax and see this movie. Good times! How could we miss all that sexiness? While I was more into the weapons and fighting, now I see all that sexual innuendo that would get the movie an "R" in these times. Flash! Ahhhhhhhhh!

from nicim :

hey girl, sent you PW via email. thanks for asking.

from portia12 :

You are gorgeous girl! I love your humor and reading about your annoying coworker. I just saw your pics on myspace. I've asked to add you as a friend on there, I'm bluepopsicle. Hang in there. I know you can do it!

from livingwreck :

We don't have a choice here either, that's the problem. It's either them or another ticketing business. And here you have to join Ticketm@ster's online club if you want to get tickets on the internet. No problem there but I don't work in an office and don't have access to a computer while I'm at work. It's not the fact that I missed out, it's the attitude of Ticketm@ster I dislike. They've always had that arrogance but it seems to be worse now. Why are lines always busy? With modern telecommunications there should be queues, not just an engaged signal....Sorry, I should've written some of this in my diary :-)

from warcrygirl :

Okay chick about this Haloscan thingy...did you go to the "How to change each individual entry on the page" and put the code there, too? This not being able to comment is killing me!

from hedgehoggy :

So, what kind of audience finds itself in the coolest Nascar movie since.............oh, fuck. Days Of Thunder? Isn't John C. Reilly such a great catch for all you gals? Curly hair and the look that he eats pork rinds must get to some.

from arc-angel666 :

Hi Sweetie: Thanks for the kind note, I appreciate it. Email me at [email protected] for my password

from warcrygirl :

Put your Haloscan code underneath your NO INDEX NO FOLLOW code. Until then I won't be able to open them. :(

from warcrygirl :

Well that's just great, now I can't access your Haloscan comments. If you decide to keep it I'll either have to figure out how to tell you how to install the code so I can open them or just pester you here. Fucking Dland.

from smedindy :

Ack! Your comments are off! What WILL we do! It's a conspiracy! Where's Mel Gibson???

from clarity25 :

Did I just hear you say that "Celestia has been a pleasure to work with"? lol -- the heat must be getting to you. Which is understandable It's been a really hot summer:). I saw Mel Gibson's mug shot... pretty damn scary. Thanks for your advice on the whole texas situation. It helped me put things in the right perspective. I tried to leave this comment in your comments section but it wouldn't let me in. grrr...

from sduckie :

you have inspired me to eat peanut butter and chocolate. I think Laura from PR is kind of scary, like in a Frankenstein kind of way. Frankenlaura.

from sduckie :

Very Bad Things has been one of my fave movies FOREVER, and I too am a PR junkie... officially now, stayed up way too late watching it last night. Robert's was great and I also really liked Kayne so far, I thought he was original with those rubber mats.

from hedgehoggy :

Very funny but you missed the bigger target. Britney was pictured walking into a public gas station's restroom with bare feet. Hell, she even defended her decision. Now that is germy! As for Trudy, I loved her but Dangle is hilarious as ever in little tight pink shorts. Reno 911 takes a certain kind of weirdo to enjoy it. I do as I do with Zoolander.

from hedgehoggy :

Well said. I never saw it like that and, yes, I agree with you on it. Racism and being an arrogant prick are two different things. Good grief, I never thought you had inhaled. Cafeteria food being better than pharmacueticals? Funny. Our salisbury steak looked like giant turds. No joke.

from quoted :

Congrats, you have been Quoted: http://quoted.diaryland.com/broken.html. Thanks for the great writing. -- Ploppy.

from sduckie :

Hi, I just wanted to say I love your diary, especially today's entry. Lunchables for the johns! harhar! Love it! And I am a big reader too and used to work with a girl that always tried to talk to me while I was reading, because she really didn't understand the concept... I guess she figured it was quiet, so why not talk? Yes, people are that stupid.... glad to have found your diary... Duck

from hedgehoggy :

The URL is: freephotosandvideos.com. They even have Kids Incorporated on there. The alphabetizing is screwed up so look hard and enjoy. I'm going nuts for this shit, I swear! Some of the videos are foreign versions like Yes's "Owner Of A Lonely Heart". Golden Earring..........oh, glorious.

from hedgehoggy :

Looting? I laughed at that, seeing as I'd do the exact same thing to joke around about during a confusing time. Bonus points! Which Spice Girl did Chris Kattan of Saturday Night Live play? I forgot even though I thought his was the best. It's too bad that if the Spice Girls did get back together, it'll totally not be the same. Posh is now a robot.

from hedgehoggy :

It's only bad in filming animal porn if you find yourself shouting "Take it all, bitch! Do you like that, you little slut? Here's comes the money shot!" The looks on people as you film this while saying these things as the animals go at it would be priceless. Fucking priceless.

from hedgehoggy :

If I wake up with a dollar bill down my shorts, I know it was a night well spent. Just as long as it's not shaving cream all over my face, a drawn penis on my head near my mouth, and a dog licking peanut butter off my balls. That's what we call "Wednesdays."

from aliannmil :

I don't think I've ever said hello but I have so few friends and I am desperate to please and the rules say 6 people, you have to tag six people so I am forced to show my face. I love reading you diary by the way. Oh I almost forgot TAG...read my diary for info.

from hedgehoggy :

My penis and I agree that everyone should talk to vegetables...........I mean, genitals more. Sometimes, Sara has to choke the living shit out of him to force him to nap. If people talked to their genitals more often, everyone would have a happy and productive time like they did in the 60's where everything was so spaced out.

from zonoria :

What does Smed mean, you don't like Kiss? Why, I don't even know you! Heh. ;-)

from chickpea981 :

Biopsies are no fun and waiting sucks ass and I have no words of comfort because I know you'll be like me and obsessively think about it till you get the results. So instead of that I'll say something like "I love you bubblyiddles!"

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, will "bite" and "me" suffice? Go ahead and give it a ring, girl. All is explained.

from hedgehoggy :

You know the drill. The words are "eat" and "me" since I've got a stalker. Oh, how I fucking hate it when this happens.

from hedgehoggy :

Well, according to my local TV guide, V. Mars is on tonight at 8pm, a rerun of last night's. Only 3 more episodes left so the quest is on as to who did that bus crash. Big clues tonight!

from revisions :

your sarcasm is amazing...

from clipchick :

I'm alive, I swear! I'll resurface soon. Thanks so very much for thinking of me...it really means a lot right now. I do appreciate it!

from hedgehoggy :

Well, if you're not interested in discussing "teabagging" with your mother, I'd do it. I've had to get into a major debate on oral sex with my ex-girlfriend's mom so nothing's impossible. Could you imagine that guy and how he'd have girls bend over near power lines as he says he could save them a bunch on birth control? "Look power lines! Let's go fuck!" I'd hope to hear a great big *ZAP!* as the idiotic herd needs to be thinned down.

from livingwreck :

Yes, my apologies. I've been around quite a bit but just not felt the urge to write much, if at all. Loved your last diary entry.

from hibiscus101 :

ha! living life as amusical for a day sounds great. shit just break out in song for no reason, who cares how you sound. if you do this in some random public place, youll look crazy anyway ;)

from chickpea981 :

that was an awesome run on sentence on my part. Awww yeah.

from chickpea981 :

I know you're not updating and you're not online because scott is there so I am resisting the temptation to call you but I expect a FULL recap when you get back to reality!!!!!!!!!!!

from beauzombie :

Running the treadmill and climaxing at the same time! Awe-inspiring multitasking!!

from beauzombie :

Yo you�re not a freak, you�re lucky!!!

from hedgehoggy :

Hmmmmm..........would those pictures you are referring to be the one where he looked into my pretty blue eyes as only Bald-O can? I'd love to show them but I'm waiting for use of the USB port upstairs. Damn, it sucks along with no new Veronica Mars episodes. It's horrible to treat your fans that way, with too many reruns. Keira, Keira, Keira. That girl just drives me nuts while I hoped for another boobie to pop out on the Red Carpet.

from queenoftart :

Please, please don't lock up... I just found your diary today damn it!

from hedgehoggy :

If I were to ever lock the damn thing, you know I'd send you a password. Now, tell us when your online boy is cumming.......*oops*...coming to shag you rotten. I'll admit to a bit of curiousity on this thanks to wanting to know how you are going to start all this. Meeting in the flesh is a whole lot different than online. Is it going to be a tumble on the couch or are you going to have him meet your neighbors while playing Katrina And the Waves really loud to annoy them as you cruise in your 6-4? I am seriously laughing as I type this.

from sparkspark :

Totally. Plus, it's not really a ruby, it's an emerald. (I put ruby as a sly, trick-ay way to throw off any would-be Googler action.)

from hedgehoggy :

My parents lived in a trailer as I always remember the story of how their dog had massive diarrhea all over it. She (the dog) felt awful and afraid of what would happen so she left. Later on that day, the dog came back, though, hopeful of forgiveness. Gotta love pets and their way of thinking but my whole thing is that trailer trash is just the mental aspect, not the living in a trailer. My best friend lives in 1 but he loves Nascar so he is trailer trash. *Ha Ha*

from third-person :

Clicked on a link to your diary because I liked your username. Your entry about Nascar & Jeff Gordon made me smile. I'm trying to brainwash my goddaughter into liking the Mets. Any tips?

from dangerspouse :

Hey HEY, beyotch! Just because I like the Divine Miss M's cans doesn't make me a femme! Goddamit, if I wasn't weighed down by all these Mickey-D fries, I'd smack you across that smart mouth of yours with my boa. Bitch.

from nogooddaddy :

PoRn HOAR! I still can't read you because you're classified as adult entertainment. Come on! You're not even entertaining!

from dangerspouse :

Thanks for noticing my wife's nice rack. I kinda suspected that about you. No wonder you want a fist dildo....damn redheads.....

from hedgehoggy :

So, I guess this is the reason for the purchase of massage oils, Kama Sutra reading, and banana inserting. I've only caught Project Runway a couple times but Santino has got to go now! Funny guy but not as talented in the couture department. Let's make this work, Hoar.

from ravengreen :

You cannot resist the power of the dark side. welcome the world of diaryland dating. Also, I totally Love Daniel, and it sooo broke my heart when he was talking about being gay. I was sooo hoping he was straight. But...on a different note, that orcid thing was horrible. And Zulema is going down in reality tv history right next to Omarosa as the biggest bitch.

from nogooddaddy :

Hey HOAR...my internal Internet Police here at HealthCareRelatedCompany block your site as PoRn

from clipchick :

Thanks for the add! I'm speechless...and very honored :D

from bigpimpinmba :

I'll be back soon. I haven't abandoned this D-Land dump yet. Sometimes life gets in the way, you know? Thanks for the note. It's good to know that someone cares about me out there!

from hedgehoggy :

Hey, small world! I like cheese, too! Being mice is a rockin' way to live.

from sparkspark :

I will totally meet you behind the bleachers to fight for my imaginary boyfriend John Krasinski. Except that I'm a chicken when it comes to fighting, so probably you automatically win, even without showing up. I think I'm going to dump this imaginary boyfriend. He's too much trouble.

from dangerspouse :

Hey, shut the fuck up already bitching about my notes. Fuck you, they're MY notes beyotch, and I'll turn 'em off and on as I see fit. Got it? And nog does TOO rock, so FUCK YOU again! But I agree with you on your cheese mania. Cheese makes my cock hard. Especially if it's soft. Tell Celestia not to eat Thai coq. That is all. Happy '06, and fuck you. Again.

from stepfordtart :

Hi Andria, found your diary through that 'link to a link to a link' thing that goes on when you're at work on New Years Eve with nothing to do! I like your stuff - hope its OK to add you to my buddy list. Happy New Year to you and yours. s x

from angrybuddha :

I like feet pix, they show me where I've been.

from final137 :

..Is her name really Aunt Mormon? Poor gal..

from tuff517 :

Son of a MOTHER! I didn't even know there was a Crackhead Christmas Special. I have to see if they're going to replay it. Thank you for letting me know. Maybe they have BobbyKris doing crack too now. I think Whitney has a beer belly.

from starlight42 :

Happy Holidays!! Hope you are feeling better. I can sympathize, I've got a cold too :(

from bettyford :

i suppose it's better to forget the bra than to forget deoderant or something. would you rather have your boobies floppin' around or have to worry about being smelly?

from bettyford :

if by "forget", you mean, "i didn't do any laundry and, therefore, have no clean panties", then yeah. *at least* once or twice a month.

from enceinte :

I'm off for good...

from hedgehoggy :

Yeah, we know all about the fact that you like to put "things" in your mouth. Ha Ha Ha Maybe that evil Ike wants to seek out some major female loving or are you leaving him sex-starved? You could see it in his eyes thanks to that picture you took of him at the door. 39 years of age is said to be a woman's peak in sex needs. Wonder what'll happen to you in 7 years time in regards to that.

from northrup :

And isn't that EXACTLY what I meant? Hubba hubba!

from northrup :

Mutual Messagation? Hey, nice shirt.

from northrup :

Can we get a drum hit please? Thankyew... I SHOULD mention that you leaving messages for yourself almost sounds like - oh, never mind.

from yeahimadork :

Well of course you let the gag go by. You're hung like a lightswitch, right? Can't gag on that. ;) Hahahahaha... I'm such a lady.

from northrup :

Oh yeah. Now I remember. Hey, wanna be my hobby? (Notice how I refrained from saying Hobby HORSE. Aren't you proud? I let the easy sex gag go flying by)

from northrup :

Oh, don't worry. I can talk a blue streak. Or...did you mean something else? You realize that we're both sitting on here in the middle of the night, right? We need hobbies.

from northrup :

I hear people say that all the time, but I don't beleive it. Fortunately, I'm - oh, who am I kidding? I'm hung like a lightswitch. But for you, the lights are always on...

from northrup :

Make sure you get a monitor with the 'zoom' function. It's cold in here.

from bluemeany :

Hey coochieface, your comments page isn't working. Nice new template, though!

from northrup :

Um - who said I was wearing clothing, dear?

from northrup :

Mmmmm....sexy cyber-flirt... Yummy.

from northrup :

Sorry - that must have been one of our conversations where I filled in your comments for you. I've got a bit of a cyber-crush on you, I think.

from northrup :

Oh, my dear Andria...you've left me in stitches. That's NOT what I'd hoped for when I mentioned bondage to you, but it'll do for now, I suppose...

from heelandlass :

Hey! Just wanted to say thank you for filling out my survey. I can't believe so many people did it. Must've been a quiet weekend ;) Take it easy x

from awittykitty :

So Andria...did you get to dork out over RENT this weekend? I did. I wasn't as totally overwhelmed by it as I hoped. It was very good, but I was never totally carried away by it. I think I wished that the guy who had directed CHICAGO had directed it. I think it would have been more involving.

from hedgehoggy :

According to that pic, the Gates Of Hell opened up and out popped.............Ike? That cat, certainly, looks evil, bed-wetter and all. What you should have done to your family's psyche was tell them you now date a Pakistani that came with a camel. Inside the hump is a "magic cooler" where the beer replenishes itself each and every time the hump is opened. We used to fuck with my alcoholic best friend by refilling his cooler like this since he made the best dramatic fridge openings ever. "See, it did it again! I've got beer for life!"

from la-blue-eyez :

I have to say that I'm a new reader of yours and this entry (the one about your family) had me laughing and nodding my head. I had to make sure I was reading someone else's diary because you were describing my mom's family perfect! Even the way they speak is the EXACT same! Oh my gosh! Too funny! (I do have an advantage that eats at them just by the sight of me... I have *gasp* brown skin that reminds them that my mom slept with a Mexican).

from northrup :

*Big Sigh...* Yeahimadork, you're so DREAMY... I'm thoroughly enjoying your archived entries. You one funny lady.

from portia12 :

It's hard when friends can't relate. She could have at least acted a little more understanding.

from essaywriter :

I can certainly sympathize with the depression thing. The best things I've found? First, exercise - which for me means bicycling, but any kind of exercise will do. And I take 200 mg of vitamin B6 a day which works for me (B6 not toxic until you get over 500mg/day) Some of my friends find the B6 helpful, too. Also - going to talk to a therapist can be a great help. It certainly has helped me, but you have to find the right person. Clearly you have a good head on your shoulders and it might only take a few sessions to sort things out. It's not like you have to be in therapy forever. That's my $.02 - for what it's worth. And I've missed reading you while you were gone...

from lettynow :

Hey there.. I added you a while ago.. through Claritys guest entry or just common buddy's I'm not sure. In any case I was just skipping around your archives trying to catch up... I love it! Your so funny and you're from California! any how peace!

from hedgehoggy :

Nothin' wrong with talking to animals. It's just that dogs tend to listen more but do the complete opposite. I've told them to "No eat shit" but it's the same everyday. Cats just look at me with that look: "What the fuck does this asshole want? If there is no can opening, I'm going to barf in his shoe." Sara's cat loves me, though, since she sleeps with me on occasion.

from dulligirl :

Oh,my God, yes. My novel is more like a screenplay,too. Glad I'm not the only one!

from pissymystic :

Dammit, NOW look what you did. There's melted Michelle all over the place! :D Hehe...thank you, honey.

from pissymystic :

Oh, honey I was teasing you! I had hoped the wink would give it away. I'm sorry.

from sparkspark :

Thank you, Chartreuse, you are a great and loyal friend! I think the evil diary is locked, but if you want, e-mail me at white.violetsATgmailDOTcom and I'll whisper the name. And: I know! My jaundice was so great, it overtook my indigo-ness. I promise a re-vamp down the line, when I find some valium or something to calm me down.

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, I just have to come by to admit that your Unfucked diary ideas are so creative! I'm sure you'll get lots of people since I seem to come across a lot of Diarylanders sex-starved and wanting to be mounted. *Tends to confuse the gerbils, though* Must be nice having a co-worker with an attraction towards well-hung dogs. Did you know there is a place on the 'Net to meet n' greet with horses if you've ever wanted one......sexually? Men are getting a little too out there in the pasture.

from beltwaybelle :

Augh! I HATE that "u" stuff. Drives me batty! Also, over the coming days you might see someone poking around your diary. 'Twould be me. I see your smiling screen name in the comments of a lot of my favorite diaries, so I thought I'd come see who the REAL belle of the ball is! Cheers!

from livingwreck :

Yeah, it's amazing the things you find out when you think you know someone. It's why I have fuck-all friends.

from sparkspark :

My ex-boyfriend's grandmother always used to forget my name and call me Chartreuse. I think it's a fine time to hand it over to you.

from heelandlass :

Yep that was right. It began with people parting with money at the races. I did know that too but didn't put it in because I thought I might have made it up. Isn't it weird how you know these things? I found this site for you too: www.effingpot.com/slang.

from heelandlass :

I don't think 'punter' will be much use to you in your perpetual wind up of your workmate. I might be wrong, but a punter is another word for customers. Someone you 'punt' your wares to. So, when I worked in a bar I would say 'we had so many punters in tonight and they were all tossers' or something. But you can also use it to describe a person in general as in 'check out that punter's hair'. I think anyway. Now I am going to have to check that out. I'll get back to you if it's different!!

from bluemeany :

Yeah, you do. But you should just get one, for that purpose alone. I know I would. That kid is my one true luv.

from bluemeany :

Now I'm ONLY going to leave you notes, skank! (Or not ... I totally hate the notes.) I don't even remember how I found that kid ... but I subscribed to his site so I could read him all the time. And ALSO. I did not delete your comment! I got it in my e-mail, even! Maybe Diaryland got hungry and ate it. It did that with a few of mine tonight. Weeeird.

from bluemeany :

I don't know why I'm leaving you a note instead of a comment. I must just be a freak like that. But dude, do you remember this guy? (http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=Mysterious_words&tab=weblogs&uid=366649443) He is the most unconsciously hilarious pre-teen blogger I have ever fucking seen.

from hedgehoggy :

Sunday nights are when they rerun Veronic Mars here so I don't know about Cal-ee-forn-ee-uh. Around 6pm is I *think* the time. Good episode and it's so amusing to see Mahoney get a new job. Who can forget the loveliness of Police Academy? Now, if only we can find Jones.

from smedindy :

You added me! Now I'm almost completely complete! :-P All hail Andria, queen o' the dorks, Western Division. (I have hold on the Midwestern title).

from ravengreen :

Mmmm I am definately a hand grinder. I started seriously young like that. I learned what felt good before I even knew what it was I was doing, though I did have a feeling that if I was caught I'd been in trouble. My Grandma would watch soap opreas and I would fantasize about them.

from chickpea981 :

everyone always leaves youa zillion comments. I'm always late in it! So I linked you instead. Ultimate form of flattery or something. :P

from hedgehoggy :

Well, I also wish you a belated birthday as you seem to allow little boys to cop a feel. Good gravy! Just look at the eyes on the kid and you'll see a total breast man awaiting inside. Get that boy to Hooters ASAP!

from hedgehoggy :

I'll send the password as soon as I am home.

from normaltoilet :

hehe, I HAVE that Crazy Cat Lady doll! bv gave it to me as a belated b-day present! It's right here at my desk! :) NT

from hedgehoggy :

I'm amazed that the guy didn't hold his stomach in after going at it with the love doll. C'mon, you know that guy just got up from a major sex fest with a doll named "Bridget." Or "Bee-shit" as that Asian girl in the movie pronounced it. New toys for you to take your worries away!

from nilliem :

Andria...toy parties are sanity savers!! hehe

from hedgehoggy :

Good gravy! I was going to leave you a not thanking you for the birthday wishes. My mind has been spent catching up so much after a week. If I don't get to read the newspapers, I am very unhappy. Girlfight? Saw it and loved it. Michelle is such a hottie with a permanent snarl. Well, must be off to bed to practice sleeping earlier for work soon. Just because you have a secret lust for your cats, Boo and Ike, doesn't mean you shouldn't get "Bad Cat." No, that type of insanity is for the women with 50plus cats. Usually, they are named "Marge." Why this is so, I don't know.

from starlight42 :

I like new new layout! and I dont' mind you talking smack about my mom at all! oh, and she DID pay for lunch :)

from smedindy :

You've got linkage in my new entry (basically because I need to steal your screen name - after my weekend - YIPES!)

from bluemeany :

First of all, that was a PERFECT quote for this particular situation, and I'm bursting with pride that you used it. Secondly, "I think Record Town's a litle torn on the revealing clothing issue!" ... oh, and dude? I'm totally moving back. Blogger is PISSING ME OFF.

from theotherchad :

Okay, time for me to stalk you back! Your diary is so not boring! I have a deep need for piercing social commentary like yours that involves cooters (actually, that means something completely different where I live) and boots with flames on the side,etc. SO, anyway, I love you back!

from andreeb :

I had to read you after looking at your banner with the cats on it! You're funny. I need funny right now!!

from nicim :

Thanks for adding me to your buddy list!! Love your diary - had cats for years and SOOO understand the problem. Once they start - there is no stopping them without a lot of training. I finally got one of mine to go back to the litter box by putting her in it, and giving her a treat (telling her good girl etc), over and over for several days. Every time she went near it she would get a treat. if she went IN it she got a treat. Broke her at last of going elsewhere! Sometimes cats can be such dogs.....

from sparkspark :

That's a 10-4, Morning Glory (I just assigned you that handle, feel free to change at will). I'm sending the record to my friend Al with a demeaning begging note requesting that he transfer it to CD, and then we can transform the cockpit of my sailboat into CB Trucker Lounge (just like I've always dreamed!).

from onewetleg :

i can't remember if i thanked you for your comment over at mine and i don't see a note here so i'm assuming i didn't. if i did, please forgive me. thanks for your comment. if there is any room on my buddy list i think i may add you. your nascar entry cracked me up. where have you been all of my diary's life?

from smedindy :

Well, I'm happy you left a comment anyway! Tomorrow's entry will be more like normal (Well, maybe Friday's entry will be more like normal. I have something special for tomorrow.)

from redstarhelix :

of course i know who fred sanford is. thats why it was noteworthy. ;)

from smedindy :

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you come again to peruse! I dig your stuff too, man. Far out! (Yeah, I should have been a hippie. Alas...)

from tdtemp :

The reason some templates take up 1/3 of the screen may be because you have a bigger screen resolution than those templates (which they were made it). I have two kinds of screen resolutions but I make all my templates in 800x600. But if it really bugs you that much I might start making some bigger ones.

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, you should so go for him! Do it! He's got a bike and you can hum the Pee Wee Herman movie theme song of danger. C'mon, ask for a ride on the handlebars while ending up in California traffic. Adios!

from hedgehoggy :

Hmmmmm.......wanna see a list, too. Oh, I remember what I'm here for! Barnes N Noble has a special calendar for those addicted to firemen in nothing but suspenders. Interested? Must be nice to wake up and find the cat's butt on your head and that the trusty sex toys' batteries do last longer than expected. I'm such a stinker! Will be linking when I learn. Too dumb for now so I just gotta tell ya that I need more cowbell!

from nilliem :

Ok, so I was wrong....well tagged?? So, where's your list??? I'm nosy, doncha know?? And impatient! :)

from nilliem :

Well stolen my friend! Well done, indeed!

from hedgehoggy :

Another September baby? Man, we are rare from what I've seen! I see that I'm not the only one shameless but I was actually shocked that you smoke(d). Something new everyday. I'm assuming you are preparing your ta-ta cam moments since you said no bikini. Just put 'em on the glass!-Sir Mix A Lot

from batten :

Thank you so much for that. I sometimes worry that I'm boring as hell and have delusions of writing grandeur. Ditto, y'know. I'm always checking out your site to see how you're doing. Hope all is going well with Ike. Hey if you need kitty-constipation advice send up a flare okay? I know entirely too much about that lack of shit... (grin) Big hug to you, woman. -J

from hedgehoggy :

There should never be a price put on a pet but why vets charge so much is odd, no? My little Jethro went through an expensive surgery, etc. and prior to that time, he was sad and only weighing 2 pounds. Now, Jethro's frisky and full of life after well over a grand. He better be! The little doofus has become a part of me.

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, no it was so not you. Just a weird woman that slowly annoyed me here and there. As for pics, you'll see me along with Sara once we get back from Atlanta since our friends always bring a digital camera. There'll be lots since gay guys love to play dress-up, etc. Maybe I'll see Bobby Brown and get more insight on what "black love" is and help us po' white people get it right. To end this, you are not someone that goes "I need a man" entry after entry. Whining is different since you've got Roseanne flicking you off and fireman to expose yourself to. Just do it slowly since it's the best way to build suspense but remember to put the cell phone down.

from golfwidow :

Aw, gawrsh. I'm not special but I do try to make the English Language my bitch whenever possible.

from hissandtell :

Ooooh! I just read this article and thought immediately of you! http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=57916 Love, R xxx

from livingwreck :

Thank you. I have been reading. It's the writing I'm having trouble with...

from justvisiting :

Hi there. I was wondering...could you please let another diaryland defector know how to put the code in one's banner to redirect them to blogspot?? Gracias!

from tuff517 :

Ok, I couldn't leave a note on blogspot, but I have to say Thank You. Thank you for telling me NATE DIES when I am 2 seasons behind, watching it on DVD. I will proceed to cry now. But it'll be a'ight tonight, with my homies Bobby B and Whitneeeee.

from juddhole :

That fkn dream Rocks so many different kinds of ass. Holy Shit. I know wife prolly didn't get too freaky on it, but how apt that we acted that way, for that is probably EXACTLY how it would've gone. Except she may not have hauled back and socked me... I hope. And there'd be more nudity. And Cheez-its. And John Lennon. Gettin' worked up here...

from mozangeles :

I think your membership ran out...I tried to leave a comment and it said that you needed to upgrade your membership...so I left another comment saying almost the exact same thing. I suppose you will get them both (and laugh at me) when you renew! xoxo - me

from wishiwasout :

This is unacceptable! I can't believe I got my ass kicked in your dream! Especially by *her*! Big, butch, macho me?! HA! I challenge you to a duel, warcrygirl! A DUUUUELLLL!! ::slaps face with white leather glove:: (I knew these gloves would come in handy some day...)

from warcrygirl :

Looks like Andrew has cut you off my dear. Now you can move to Blogger! Cool! NOt only do I kick ass in my dreams but now I kick ass in your dreams as well. I so kick ass...

from chickpea981 :

way to go lauren bacall! and just wait till you're in one of my dreams... it will be twisted for sure.

from wishiwasout :

I *knew* you wanted to have my babies! I was even warned from this fellow "gumphood." Oh my darling, we shall marry as a homosexual couple and have the most *darling* queer babies! Of course, you know what a money-grubbing size queen I am, so you'd better a) start making a wholehelluva lot more dough for me to spend on meaningless massages (with happy endings) with Jose and very large, impress-the-neighbor type diamond rings, b)buy a very large, jet black dildo whom we will name "Midnight Thunder", and c) buy me a goddamn plane ticket. Let's get to it! ::snap snap::--this was SUPPOSED to be in your comments section, but dland keeps telling me that you're super gold membership isn't up to date. Fix it...and then add that to your comments section.

from gumphood :

I actually thought a 5 year old made it. Color me impressed.

from clarity25 :

LOL! That dream had me cracking up! That just figures I would be drawing something on poster board like a big dork:)! But hey, then I got to read the deep and meaningful note outloud. I feel honored to have a role in your dream..what did I look like Btw? I wasn't wearing a "Juicy" Jumpsuit or anything..was I? sounds kind of like "the Breakfast club". That's funny! P.S. NATE...DIES?!?!?

from reynedecoupe :

(I must have tried to comment *just* after your membership lapsed - I got the crap "oops" message. Here's what I wrote anyway.) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! So many shades of awesome. Wonder why I punched him though... mebbe like "just in case you are even THINKING of arguing with my make-out plans." I wanna know if we had roles, like jocks & cheerleaders & nerds & wallflowers & shit. Wait... "shit" isn't a stereotype...

from ravengreen :

gee, thank you so much for the 6 ft spoiler I would rather not have read.

from hissandtell :

Just tried to leave you a clever comment about Lauren and Our Nic and legends and marrying one's way to the top, and it said you couldn't accept comments. Well, can you? Because I'm not going to write it all out again if you can't, you know. Love, R xxx

from cdnfoxygirl :

So I'm really bored and decide to check out your wishlist ('cause, you know, even though I've read every entry here and all, I just haven't gotten enough of you) and was so suprised to see that you like EVERYTHING that I like. Wow. Eerie. Then I noticed that it just sent me to my own wishlist and felt kind of deflated. Damn.

from gumphood :

hi there

from itslike-neon :

I saw your banner and decided to see your diary...and I love that song! Yeah...it's Who the Fuck is Alice...

from banefulvenus :

LOVED your Hell to the No banner!

from my-solitaire :

Your english banner is awesome! Oh and I never heard of that show, but I wish I had Tivo to record it, poor broke me :o( I'll take your word on it though.

from hedgehoggy :

Not sure yet. I'm thinking early August is when I'll make my move. Possible second thoughts do have me at a stand-still. What do you think? Do I warrant a move n' all? You, too? I love the Blogspot layout and even the basic is nicer than D-Land.

from hedgehoggy :

So, I guess we can chalk this up to you figuring out how to set up banners? Amusing? Quite. Just give yourself 2 turntables and microphone!

from sparkspark :

Hail, fellow backwards-shirt wearer. I've never forgotten a bra, but I have walked all the way from my car to my office with my shirt accidentally undone to my waist. I know: "That's hott."

from hedgehoggy :

Ah, but let's not forget the late John Candy. The man may have left with shitty movies as his latest but everything before The Great Outdoors was so good. Who can forget Stripes and his "lean mean fighting machine" speech to Sgt. Hulka? Oh, I get a kick out of that shit so much along with the wisdom of Uncle Buck. John Hughes, John Candy, and Bill Murray from the 80's. Only 1 is left. So sad.

from arc-angel666 :

Dear MS Dork once again a side splitting entry. First you should know Andrew Is really the H.A.L. 900's son, from Space Oddessy fame. Andrew is a droid, a halograph, artifical Intelligence he is really not there and shall never answer anyone ever, unless your on a 7 year space flight in which he, the computer will talk to you just before he takes control of the space craft and kills you :-) I loved your letter to the Bank of America...I wrote the same letter years ago. Single boys who tell the truth! Well, that could happen...oh look flying pigs!!! Bill Clinton entered the Priesthood...Oh wait Bill Clinton just entered a Woman from the Hood sorry :-) There are alot of good guys out there, its just that because of pressure from the rotten ones, they act a little creepy too. Spend a little time with one you suspect has a good heart...given time he'll show you the real him, remember I was a bad boy once. I met a great Woman who turned me into a good guy, I gave up my messin around married Her, we had a Son and life was perfect! Even though She passed away, out of respect for her I remain a good boy even to this day. Okay my bad boy shows up once in a while like in my last entry. But I only let him out to play every now and then. :-) Honeybunny he's out there and he's looking for you right this minute. The two of you will meet soon.

from arc-angel666 :

Hi MS Dork: Rose-ann flip you off? Well, that's gotta make your day lol. I love reading your stuff it always makes me laugh.

from sparkspark :

The mustard totally ruins it for me, as well. I'm always surprised when people stop by my desk and tell me how great the sandwich looks. When I mention that the mustard ruins it, they look at me like I'm speaking in tongues. I was beginning to think it was just me. Thanks for the back-up.

from pansycline :

oh my lordy I just found you and lol-ed a plenty! the bowling ball pictures?! unbelievable!! (ps. sparkspark I swear I'm not following you around -- though maybe I should.) -- Look how classy I am leaving messages to other people in your notes. Pleased to meet ya!

from sparkspark :

Sorry about the "Finally." And... now it's stuck in my head again. Back to the liquor cabinet for me! Anyway, Violet is my nom-de-diaryland, because I too always wished it to be my name. And so my confessions are all made public. Yee-hoo.

from batten :

I'm sorry about your friend. There's too much of this sort of thing happening in our country and no one wants to acknowedge it. If I could just get my foot in the door I'd light bonfires under the politicos arses to get something, anything done. I'm really sorry about your friend. I hope it doesn't hurt so much anymore. At least you were there for her and that means so much when you're going through something like that. Big hug to you, woman. -J

from normaltoilet :

Always here to amuse! hehe... yeah swearing is usually reserved for when i'm in my car ;p NT

from hedgehoggy :

Yeah, it's nice to know that there is someone else out there that wonders why people poop at work more than at home. When I was working earlier this year, there was a serial pooper that would go on the dot right after he got to work. I called him "Pretty Pretty Princess" and he seemed to like that. Boys are weird and so am I. Let's just call it a Caddyshack moment in which all the logs come on by....

from weymouth66 :

So you're a Clive Owen fan. What did you think of Closer? I thought it was brilliant, though I wasn't sure Julia Roberts was quite right for her part. Clive, Natalie and Jude were all fantastic though. Love and hugs, Jess xx

from theotherchad :

Have I mentioned that I love you? This is largely because I love crazy people who try to fool me into naming my band something supposedly macho which is, in actuality, gayer than pink, fluffy hotpants! Yay for effort though! Seriously, all suggestions are welcome from intense sounding to total wackityness. Also. Bobby Brown is obsessed with the poopies, no?

from hedgehoggy :

So, what's your issue with D-Land? I'm curious since you've never said anything specific while I've been bitching up a storm here and there as well doing my usual embarassing moments here.

from hedgehoggy :

The picture! Holy shit! My sleep was spent laughing once I first saw that picture of me with the tassles. Boys Gone Wild keeps calling me now.

from hedgehoggy :

I so know you are going to say something so just let it out. I'm still in shock.

from cdnfoxygirl :

Oh good ... perhaps I can get together with the others and we can trade 8x10 glossies of you with each other. It'll be way cool.

from arc-angel666 :

Good Evening Ms Y.I.A.D.: I finally got my new Laptop and Now I can get into your diary Yay. I'll start catching up.

from cdnfoxygirl :

I forgot... I mean ... uh ... I totally didn't mean you. I wouldn't stalk you, only worship you from afar *shit, did I say that out loud? oh crap, I'm typing...this is even worse*

from cdnfoxygirl :

Totally. I'm thinking of going all out. Right now it's just online, but I'm gonna start saving my tips from my crap job and buy a ticket to come out and see you. So if you start noticing a pale, out of place, pudgy chick following you around with a camera, no need to worry, it's just me.

from autumnal :

you're hilarious!

from hedgehoggy :

I'm going to email you later tonight to ask a favor of you. Did you really think I'd not allow you into my world? I'm nice to those with eyes directed outside than to just themselves. Gmail, huh?

from ravengreen :

Re: the black eyed peas. ...Stacy Ferguson, aka Fergie, used to be in a vocal group called Wild Orchid. They were a trio of lucious ladies, all hot, all with amazing voices. I'm not sure how many albums they put out, but I found one for 5 bucks, I don't know if I'd pay much more for it,....but to have a fun album of chicks with amazing voices, it was worth it. And her's was the best voice of the group. I always have a soft spot in my heart for chicks with amazing voices, and I always wanted to see her do well. I saw the black eyed peas on mtv once and was convinced it was her, so I did a bit of net searching and found out that it is in fact her. So, even though they don't do much for me, I like still being able to hear her voice.

from cdnfoxygirl :

Yes, 16. Only 13 stayed over night though, but I got too bored of my own story to finish. No problem about the questions, take your time.

from hedgehoggy :

You may have thought that your writing wasn't up to par but I absolutely laughed my ass off over the "cat-as-trophe" mix-up over the cats at the vet's. Funny. Very witty and so good to the point that it warranted not 1 but 10 little naked midgets on tricycles.

from livingwreck :

Nah, not yet. I've looked at it a few times but...I spoke to someone else about it and they were a little hot and cold about it so I'm not sure. But I guess, like I usually do, I'll fight the urge to buy as I'm trying to save money (buying books doesn't help) but then I'll go and get it anyway.

from cdnfoxygirl :

Wow. I am totally jealous. Even without the graphic details (*ahem*) it sounds like loads of fun and really...well, hot. So far, NONE of my oh-so-secret fantasies has EVER been filled. Or at least not properly.l

from cdnfoxygirl :

P.P.S -- yeah, I totally love my new template as well. I found the pictures on my own and everything. I'm so proud of myself, it's sad.

from cdnfoxygirl :

P.S. It's not a fantasy "anymore"?? I totally just missed that, does that mean you've done it already??

from cdnfoxygirl :

You know, you could always just make stuff up about sex. I'm pretty simple, I won't be able to tell.

from chickpea981 :

*whew!* and thanks ;)

from bluemeany :

Your survey was fun. It made me grin.

from bluemeany :

Bolivion ... is that somewhere in South Bamerica?

from hedgehoggy :

Yeah, it is a sad day that a guy like that got off. We're lucky that O.J. is "looking" for those killers out there. It's just taking a bit longer than expected. Now, c'mon, have you ever heard Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone?" You're an 80's music fan so you'd have to have heard it at least once. "Don't You Want Me" by Human League still causes a weird thrill thanks to the song and oddness of the group's look. I so miss the 80's and how people looked different because it was what they wanted to.

from bluemeany :

My dear Enid, you are beautiful because you have a lovely soul and a terrific sense of humor. More power to you for speaking your mind!

from bluemeany :

I AM! I AM a stats-checking whore! And it nearly brought me to stats-checking orgasm to see you giving me so much diary-love! Thanks for favrit-izing me ... by the way, may I call you Enid? I have a friend who already goes by "Seymour."

from hedgehoggy :

Man, I was hoping to know what you thought, warts and all, towards my 3 CDs selected. It was fun to try and come up with a very difficult answer due to so many memories from various songs. Hell, Belinda Carlisle could have been in there but "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" wasn't as up to par as Madonna's "Imaculate Collection."

from bluemeany :

You know, I have no clue how I have not read you till today. And I totally get your desire for an angst-free diary ... usually my angst just becomes translated into Crazy Enraged Bitch language. So yeah ... rock on.

from hedgehoggy :

I am having serious problems getting an entry. It seems everyone is updating but my faves. Weird. Will try again or just march off in a humph til later on. For good luck, I decided to take my socks off and try an entry sockless.

from ravengreen :

I'm all about the pink! Though I used to love it because people had such strong emotions about it, they either loved it or the HATED IT! And I thought it was awesome that something as simple as a color would bring about such a dramatic reaction...so yeah I need the disgustingly bright pink sweater, and shoes and bracelets. And I still wear them now...even though the pink trend is over...so instead of being ahead of the times (like I was) I'm not the person who didn't realize the trend is over...but Fuck'em! I love pink!

from arc-angel666 :

Hello YeahImadork: Thanks for dropping by. Any friend of Hiss is a friend of mine. I attempted to read your entries but my Mac is acting up. My IBM is working right now so I'll check you out tomorrow...see ya soon. My name is Michael pleased to meet you.

from normaltoilet :

People are pretty much going to suck during any given part of life. I'm glad you still have some that make you laugh and smile. :) NT

from hitch-hike :

Hello, I found you through Tuff517's link. You have a cool page! I'll stop by again.

from normaltoilet :

ok, this entry totally made me laugh! on so many fronts... Paris/Paris, Tom Cruise comments, and Scissorsisters... i didn't want to say anything before when you trashed them, but i LOVED their SNL performance. :)

from livingwreck :

I'm so sorry to hear about John. Not much else I can say really. Apart from I'm thinking of you.

from hedgehoggy :

Well, if you think that is bad, try to watch Bald-O and I sing "Say You, Say Me" while drunk. That is the most incredibly disastorous drunken moment in the history of man, 2 heteros belting out a Lionel Richie song while people down south look on in horror. Don't get us started on The Bangles's "Eternal Flame" because it's pretty close as well. Thanks for the peppy note. Hmmmm....we'll see if I'm ready to give out my email address....

from livingwreck :

Oh fuck (he moans). Use my imagination? Um, pass the tissues please.

from cdnfoxygirl :

Btw, ouch on that story. I was trying to think of what it could be, and that's so not what I came up with.

from cdnfoxygirl :

Wow. I have a note stalker. I feel special. Even more special since I have like no other notes except from you. It's ok though, I'm done school and unemployed so I've got time to comment on every single little thing I feel the need to comment on as I read along to the story that is your life. Or at least the life that you share with us. Come on, give us more, you know you wanna. Especially me, because I'm special. I know it because I've wrote it on post it notes to myself all over the house.

from hedgehoggy :

As far as Star Wars freaks go, I've seen all of them in the theater, including the originals while Empire Strikes Back is my fave (so dark and NOT directed by Lucas) so I would like to say that I've seen all 6 by late May. Somehow, we still hold out hope for an amazing experience and no more hairy muppets with awful dialogue. I'm a dork inside and proud! Tonight's entry is going to prove that. Love Sara's new layout!

from livingwreck :

Oh I'm so sorry. Torture, isn't it?

from dooki :

WOO HOO! I'm glad you like it. Had you heard it before, or was it my loverly diary that brought it to your attention? by the way, thanks for the add. I didn't know you had! Nothing wrong with being a dork.

from invisibledon :

thanks for adding me to your favorite list - I stopped by and read some but being that it's nearly 2 a.m. right now I need sleep be back later. 5/14/05

from toiletwater :

hi, i discovered your diary (somehow?) and after reading back a ways and laughing my ass off at some of your stuff, i realized it was only fair to leave you a note to say thanks for entertaining me! i'll definitely keep tuning in.

from normaltoilet :

Yay for you!

from ravengreen :

And new Nine Inch Nails Today!!!!! 5+ years of waiting!

from ravengreen :

Word Up. Down with Facials!

from hedgehoggy :

Where, oh, where is that porno review? Where, oh, where can it be? I may not be a porn fanatic but I do love to read what turns a female viewer on or what she likes. On with the show!

from hedgehoggy :

I think you already figured it out. Good hunting, sista'! Oh, how I laugh with redheads that post reviews on midgets involved in porn.

from myownjourney :

The Dukes of Hazzard were by far my favorite show growing up. Not sure if I'm gonna like the new movie coming out though.. we'll see. Thanks for stopping by. :) - Ricky

from wastedday :

Have you heard the lastest Erasure? It's one of the better albums they've released in awhile. I wish Depeche Mode would go back to their earlier sound, they are more mainstream now. Sellouts?? Maybe.... Corporate Rock Sucks.

from liquid-mojo :

oh really? where in southern cali are we talking about here? ;)

from oceans-depth :

Thank you for visiting my diary ♥ Deja

from liquid-mojo :

it's a little extra for shipping and handling, but it's worth it i think... =p

from hedgehoggy :

Let's not forget The Breakfast Club. How beautiful was it as Victor raised his fist into the air as "Don't You (Forget About Me)" played? Hell, Sixteen Candles has so many funny quotes that I find the ending so good that I'm teary-eyed. "No more yanky wankee, the Donger needs food!" "Automobile?" "Hey, Dick, there's your China-man!"

from liquid-mojo :

Funny how it all works out isn't it? You can't really hate that which fucks you the most... ;)

from ravengreen :

Britney is so Eeek. What's the matter with her?!?! got the new garbage album hmm? Isn't it fantastic!! They never cease to amaze me. This will be such a good year for music! Moby, Garbage, Nine Inch Nails! (YEA!!!), Coldplay, the list goes on. Finally the music gods smiled and graced us with a reward for putting up with this crap for so long!

from yeahimadork :

Britney bukkake - LOL! yeah, I wish there was more space for movies and music, too... because I have way too many favorites of both to fit on my profile. Ok... I am going to check out your diary now. :)

from ska-t :

yep, i'd go to the same shows you would. actually, i wish there was more room for music entries, but that would probably exceed bandwidth. killer entry on the restroom habits of the "stars". Britney bukkake?

from hedgehoggy :

Oh, I wasn't saying that it was a bad thing. I'm just finding it strange that my cock has taken a mind of its own and keeps twitching. Lovely entries, by the way. I was smiling when you mentioned how you got caught doing The Deed in a bar. Cheers! Now, go get some this weekend while Garbage plays. I'm sure "cowgirl style" gets even more interesting.

from hedgehoggy :

What!?! Poison totally rocks! I have sung "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" far too many times and will do so again to standing ovations and lighters flicking on. Hell, I'll do "Fallen Angel" but only true friends can get "Something To Believe In" out of me.

from vix280 :

thTicktrix turned me on to an entry in your diary. The one about being ready to let go of the fear of being hurt and let someone in...Thanks for writing that and I would like to add you to my buddy list if thats okay.. Peace! Vix

from hissandtell :

Thanks so much, darling. (You know, I had the strangest urge to type "sausage" there instead, but I refrained; I'm not sure I know you well enough for the processed-meat-product level of endearments just yet.) Hey, I got my first piece of diary hatemail last night - a fellow who said, "That was boring". I mean, I admit I'm a dullard - no contest - but I'm rather surprised someone would bother to read all 2000 words of my entry and then leave such an uninspiring criticism. (He wants me; I can tell.) And actually, I thought Britney had been pregnant for years and just couldn't find time in her hectic schedule to deliver. I heard she used to put out for Mickey Mouse years ago. Love, R xxx

from livingwreck :

Cool. Hopefully it'll work at this end. It's [email protected] Thank you.

from livingwreck :

And you'll have to come over here so we can go and visit Hiss. It's a bit of a drive but it'll be well worth it.

from livingwreck :

Speaking of exciting social lives...um, it's Saturday night and I'm on the computer. And before, well, don't get too excited but I was reading. Yes! I'm such an exciting person...I haven't bought the new Mars Volta yet. I've been procrastinating; really due to that "Will it be as good as the previous one?" So if you could give me a little review of it, that'd be great!...I might just have to visit myspace. Plenty of pics of girls in lingerie you say? Yes yes yes, I'm a typical male.

from hissandtell :

Hi - thanks so much for your fabulous note, and for drawing my attention to your diary. I'm loving it so far! (And I see you've discovered my darling wreck, too - YUM.) I plan to catch up on your entries this weekend and leave you a note or two - and hopefully they'll be far wittier than this appalling excuse for one! Love, R xxx

from livingwreck :

Thank you. And I've just been reading yours - love it. Bowling ball...sweet Jesus. Off to add you to my favourites.

from hedgehoggy :

A man and his bowling ball. It's a beautiful thing we sure as hell aint gonna understand. Balls are important to us boys. Do I need to tell you that boys are weird? I am a boy so therefore I am weird.

from liquid-mojo :

The midget tricycle porn made movie of the year? That's fucking hilarious. =p

from essaywriter :

I'm so glad you left me a comment otherwise I would never have found your diary. God, you're funny. If you like my dating tales, you should read my archives - lots of stories there. I've slowed down on the online dating for now but will continue to post ads I think merit attention/being made fun of. No shortage of material, dontcha know.

from anisettekiss :

WORD!!!!!!! Hello new friend!! :)

from liquid-mojo :

Jenna and Tera huh? At least you have good taste in porn superstars. ;) It looks like you need help with your porn selection. Luckily for you, I'm here to help. Check out: http://www.avnawards.com/2005winners.shtml and if you don't like those you could always make your own porn. Let me know when you are ready and I'll be over with a camera. ;)

from lostimmortal :

I was on a desperate search for someone whose diary had actually been regenerated, and I stumbled upon yours in the members area. You're really funny! I have to say I enjoy the way you write. You're quite clever! Keep it up.

from dope-slave :

OMG if that guy lived in my town I would replace all the "jesus" signs w/ "satan" ones. And I wouldn't do it just once, either... harassing Jesus freaks is my calling in life.

from neonnecktie :

I was having A Really Shit Day (in capitol letters like that), and reading your diary really cheered me up. Thanks for jerking me out of yet another pathetic sulk!

from dope-slave :

"Cane Toads" is a strange documentary about yet another animal that humans have introduced to Australia. As with many of the others, it is doing a fine job of breeding out of control. The fact that it appears here at Badmovies.org should clue you in to the work's eccentric nature. Part of this can be blamed on the cane toads themselves (you will read why shortly) and the rest on some weird people armed with film equipment. Add a soundtrack with music reminiscent of a low budget horror movie at times, then suddenly shifting gears into "The Cane Toad Blues." Now you see why this naturalist romp makes me giggle. During the late 20's and early 30's, Australia's sugar industry had a big problem: the cane beetle. Apparently this insect spends its early life as a grub chewing on sugar cane roots, then develops into a beetle that also burrows. To combat this pest the Australians imported one hundred and two cane toads (Bufo marinus). Since the beetles are either flying or underground, they seldom fall victim to a hungry cane toad. The amphibians, finding themselves out of work and with nothing else to do, started making little toads. A reoccurring theme is the cane toad's single-minded determination to propagate the species. Dr. Ingram was kind enough to describe amplexus, the process of their mating, in sordid detail. He even had a boy and girl toad for demonstration purposes, but they seemed a little shy when under pressure. In the wild though - look out! A female toad can lay tens of thousands of eggs every year and some lucky fellow is going to fertilize as many as he can. Tens of thousands! I get blue ba... ...er, tired, just thinking about it. Cut to another scene of a scientist motoring down a country road while the radio blares "I Want Candy." He suddenly stops and gets out of the car, staring in sick astonishment at yet another cane toad mating spectacle. A male toad, atop a female, is trying to make more baby toads. Forget the fact that he is conducting business in the middle of the road; Mrs. Toad is roadkill! I don't mean just dead, either; the female was mashed quite flat and had been dead several hours! The human voyeur's face was priceless. Printing "What in the bloody hell?" on his forehead with a permanent marker would have been a waste. Following that eye opener, I made a promise to Katie that, should I ever find her dead in the road, I would not attempt coitus. She seemed relieved. "Frogger" jokes are hard to avoid during this movie. The fact that cane toads are often casualties while crossing roadways comes as no surprise, but the director made certain to include numerous shots from a toad's point of view. Hop, hop, hop... ...you get the idea. Then there is one bloke who describes, in detail, the art of running over cane toads with his van. Watch in amazement as it roars down the road, swerving from one side to the other, popping toads all the way. The toads tend to puff up when threatened and being crushed under the tire makes them sound like a balloon popping. The other defense mechanism that the cane toad has is a very effective poison. Glands above their shoulders will spray deadly venom up to one meter when then toad is given a hard squeeze. This is the real problem with the imported monsters. They kill anything that eats them. Dogs, snakes, birds, etc. - all dead within minutes of getting a mouthful of poison. Dr. Archer learned the hard way that you should wear goggles when thumping a toad. This poison is what gave some people the idea of killing a toad, boiling it, and drinking the water to induce something like an LSD trip. Guess who the authorities attribute with inventing toad toking? Hippies, go figure... To counterbalance people who hate the imported amphibian, there are several interviews with cane toad boosters. Mostly these are old folks in command of dubious mental capacity. The one geezer, clad in his shorts and wife-beater, was almost in tears expressing his love for the lowly cane toad. Maybe it is time for a couple of state-funded rest homes in Australia. Of course, then you would still need to do something about the government officials who wanted to commission a one-meter cane toad statue for the town square. I cannot finish this article without talking about what is the single most disturbing part of the documentary. We are informed that cane toads are not particular about their diet. Considering the fact that they are extremely large (an adult's body can be more than six inches in length), the beasts eat whatever fits down their gullets. Well, at one point they filmed a toad eating a mouse. Not some sort of pygmy Australian species either, but a regular white lab mouse! You can even see the doomed rodent struggling, trying desperately to escape, but the cane toad gulps it down. Ahhhhh! I still cannot believe that it ate the freaking mouse! Shaken by the mouse's demise, I began imagining a movie in which giant cane toads (say a few hundred pounds) threaten a small town. Would they swallow humans whole? Even worse, considering their ardent nature, what if the movie's name was "Night of the Amplexus." Egad.

from mousemilk :

I'm sure you can work on a few good insults. They are best forged in the white heat of hate. Thanks for dropping by.

from rickscafe :

They shot Mark Burger King in the head?!? Those Bastards!!!!!

from incogneat-o :

i love your parents.

from normaltoilet :

I'm with ya there on the Austen. I think i have P&P memorized :)

from incogneat-o :

psst, its me, red. i moved. you may want to the name on your list. sorry for the inconvenience.

from redstarhelix :

awesome. thanks for the vote of confidence, its always nice to hear that i dont suck. ok, its nice to hear when the people who say it, mean it. you do mean it right? hello? did loopy put you up to this? come back as often as you want, which i'm sure is near hourly.

from betchy :

i am not american, but i am rooting for Kerry

from normaltoilet :

oh yeah, great minds DO think alike :)

from betchy :

hey cool, i have done that survey too! we have the same weepy film, beaches!

from goingloopy :

I pinky-swear that is the last time. I just couldn't help it. When you live in this fucked-up state, you can't not quote the song when you tell people...and I think we may have found a triplet, or at least, as she put it "a red-headed stepsister." Normal Toilet.

from goingloopy :

...and our similarities continue to be apparent. Some jackass my friend was dating threatened to put a "W" sticker on my car. I told him fine, but if he did, he would soon discover how many Kerry-Edwards stickers it took to cover a Ford Explorer. Good luck with your surgery...and congrats on the booty. ;)

from goingloopy :

That would be "SWEEPING down the plain," but who gives a shit? I'm not really from here, and I don't know how much longer I can stand living here...but I do know that I am descended from a long line of white trash. A LOOOOOOONG line. Hehehe.

from goingloopy :

The more of your entries I read, the more I realize that we are identical twins, separated at birth. The similarites are just eerie as hell...right down to the red hair and bad luck with online dating. Men just flat-out suck.

from goingloopy :

I'm your first note?? I think this is the first time I've stolen anyone's note virginity...woo hoo! I think you are a lot like me, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff. Good luck with the surgery approval. I'm currently on the weight loss bus myself, and it blows. However, I have to think that the end result will be worth it. (I haven't had the surgery, but if my current diet/exercise plan doesn't work, I'll be signing up for that shit.)

back to yeahimadork's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland