messages to odalisk:
(click here to add new message):

from bluecinema :
I literally just left a message on your most current entry when you locked your diary. Password me! S'il te plais.
from jonnybox :
What happened to minderella? Would you tell her it would be nice to catch up please. I miss the exploits. Locked diaries are horrible :) Hope you and she are well.
from harri3tspy :
I agree with you about the level of difficulty of getting inside some other people's heads. I think my difficulty with this, however, was because it sounded so incredibly easy to do. It was as if the only thing protecting me from going down that road myself was the knowledge that people didn't really do this -- they just imagined it. But how horrific! It does actually happen!
from raven72d :
"noun of unity"...hmmmm...nationalist grammar?
from raven72d :
The "bird rug" entry is brilliant! I love stories like that. Wherever did you find it?
from tsulnagrom :
i was just browsing, and i came across your diary. i absolutely love it.
from ashahands :
Your entry really struck a cord with me. I am in the same place as you in regards to exercise/reaping the health and confidence benefits of a daily work out. Your words sum up what I've been feel lately; the pulse of health and strength moving and circulating -my confidence building. Thanks for your words! Cheers.
from adeliatala :
Great Entry. That was a very tasteless guestbook entry and I believe that you defended yourself well. I totally agree with you! Good luck with all of your work :o) You seem to be holding together well.
from lordavery :
Quarter-cups are hot. Theyíre great to wear during dates Ė that way your date can tell when youíre nipply.
from seastreet :
I hope you had a lovely Christmas, and also hope that Albertine survived what was no doubt a harrowing trip. since you asked a couple weeks ago: I picked up insha'allah while living in Amman as a teenager. Sadly, it's the only bit of Arabic that survived in my brain. (Well, that and a few unrepeatable phrases...) I had the sort of teachers who thought it wiser to teach me how to say "where is the yellow car?" than to actually get me to conjugate a verb.
from raven72d :
Burton was brilliant... Look also bor Bird's "A Rage to Live"-- great story of Burton and his wife.
from shiitake :
hey. good job. it's always good to leave a grad-level class feeling like you weren't entirely an idiot. anyway, I am updating still, just over at the other site: http://hypotheticalwren.typepad.com
from raven72d :
Well, you left out the part about how the bunnies hide the eggs that will hatch into Jesus. And the English held on to the Gregorian date for a very, very long time-- making them the Russians of the 18th century when it came to arranging dates. [Russia kept the old dates til the revolutions of 1917-- thus the Bolshevik Revolution happened on 25 October or 7 November 1917, take your pick]
from raven72d :
Are you sure that "elixir" isn't Cockney for "cunnilingus"?
from elgan :
Much of the conductorís work in producing the musical result you hear in concert is done during rehearsal. The waving around of the arms is merely a reminder to the musicians, who do manage to keep one eye on him while they are busily reading their scores, but a lot of it is his own performance for the audience behind him. Also, they have to watch him, because he may become inspired himself to do things differently than he has in rehearsal, and they must be ready to follow him. The orchestra is his instrument in the same way that the violin is the string playerís, if you know what I mean.
from raven72d :
The guy at the IM dialogue was a pretentious jerk, yes. But your responses were harsh and unncessarily cruel. You could've just blown him off without being cruel-- just signed off IM and never spoken to him. My assumption is that a girl who would be harsh and cruel on IM would do so in public/in person. So...your responses to El Jerk Boy only confirmed me in being too afraid to speak to a girl or ask her out.
from livian :
wow, I've never read a more entertaining entry of yours, what an asshole. Every line I read just made me shake my head in wonder at his way of thinking.
from shiitake :
Yep. Total, complete ass.
from seastreet :
Oo! Oo! Will you be my friendster?
from thole :
egad yes! i take unreasonable advantage of the libraries at columbia and the amnh for that very reason. there's absolutely nothing snotty in saying better is better, if it is.
from raven72d :
Not even in a sentence like, "I want to take my favorite golf club and beat the author of 'The Da Vinci Code' mercilessly!"?
from raven72d :
My shelves have some traces of geographic arrangement-- Central Asia, Russia/Eastern Europe, Japan...and some authors (Renault, Borges, O'Brian) together. But there are books stacked on the floor and many books simply put in as space allows...
from raven72d :
Now...exactly where is the 1853 article wrong? "Steam" in the sense of technology did replace the caravan, and the description of the Orient as "dreams and dirt, despotism and dignity" is untrue...why?
from adeliatala :
I would kill to have visited half of those countries! You are so lucky.
from drgeek :
I think you misunderstand the intent of my analysis of the election. When I speak of embracing religion, I do not speak of being consumed by the evangelical spirit. I speak rather of trying build some bridges... because some understanding is needed. A cases in point: a woman called in on the radio this morning, saying that she had spoken with a relative in the mid-West recently. This relative voted for Bush because the Republicans were sending her literature saying that people would be arrested for praying if Kerry was elected. Another case in point: a friend of Mrs. Geek was speaking about the election with the woman who watches her kids. Mrs. Geek's friend and her husband are both dedicated liberals... and asked who this woman voted for out of curiousity. She said Bush... because she wanted her own children to grow up in a nation with values, and that George Bush is a man with values. I CANNOT STAND THIS. Liberals are not, by their very nature, value-less people. They also defend the right of people to practice the faith they wish to practice... they just differ about the role that religion plays in the halls of power to be fair to people of all faiths. If there is to be any type of understanding between the half of America that voted for George Bush and the half that didn't, liberals must learn to explain that much of their passion is well rooted in the Christian tradition and not determined to destroy it. Perhaps my own beliefs enter into this opinion -- I do not see knowledge and faith as inherently incompatible. For example, though the Catholic faith is not without many sins, at least it recognizes the validity of the theory of evolution.
from frozen-angel :
Ah i love your honesty and your wrath. A breath of fresh air.
from asitwere :
Awesome. Love the way you told it.
from pandionna :
WOW! Clicked through from Flood's place to see your reaction to the election. That clapping you hear is me giving you a standing ovation.
from dandlioneyes :
i know how you feel. some places have called ohio for bush. but cnn hasn't yet. it could be VERY close. i've already cried, panicked, decided to leave the country and renounce my citizenship, but it ain't over until the fat lady sings. knock on wood. hang in there.
from raven72d :
Monday. I was born on a Monday. Funny-- all these years I'd assumed a Wednesday.
from bluesunhat :
You and me both are full of woe.
from raven72d :
I hate news, weather, and the passage of time.
from gumphood :
Patriots, Sox, and now we just need Kerry to come through. Boston Rox. Go SOX!
from raven72d :
Generals... We did a pre-qualifying exam at the end of year one. Then...generals at the end of year three, just before I went off to Vienna. Five days... 08h30 til 15h30, writing. I'd pick up an envelope with a question or questions and spend all day writing. Then the following Wednesday-- a two-hour oral exam by my whole committee.
from harri3tspy :
There was no one totally compelling reason, but a lot of little reasons. I knew someone who's son had been uncircumcised but who had the adhesion problem elgan describes and had to have very unpleasant surgery at an age where he will likely remember it. There is the idea of "like father like son." And our general insecurities about being first-time parents and our fear of not being able to keep him adequately clean. And our concerns about future peer pressure -- in our area, at least, most boys are still circumcised.
from raven72d :
Ten hours in a *day*? Even doing Arabic, that's...beyond me. I expect I did ten hours work all the way from entering grad school 'til my doctorate... Mostly I slept, went to dance clubs, and pursued co-eds.
from amarantha21 :
1. d) you work just enough for what you want to do, but much more than the average person. 2. talk to him. it'll get less awkward as long as you can turn your brain off, and then you might have a cool friend.
from bluesunhat :
In regards to guys; better to learn now what would've helped to know then, to apply it to the future, than to never know. As well, by focusing on yourself now, and becoming more independent, or dependent on your own self, will ultimately be better. You won't feel as dependent on the next guy, and as well, you'll be less likely to attract a dominating type. Said generally, since I don't know your relationship history.
from auroraborea :
how sweet your little bird sounds! what kind is she? you seem very happy together :) cheers, lovely.
from harri3tspy :
I'm not sure I agree with you when you say you don't think there's a point to writing if you don't have anything important to say. I do agree that it may not make sense to publish or share it, but I frequently find that the act of writing clarifies things and can help you find something important to say. Of course, if the subject you're writing about doesn't have enough to say to you to keep you interested, that is another case altogether. And clearly some authors feel the same way, at least to some extent. Joyce Carol Oates, for example, publishes (or has published anyway) less serious novels under a pen name (as if she doesn't publish enough on their own!) and I'm sure there are others that I'm not thinking of at the moment as well. I just remember JCO because one of the books is a roman a clef about my department.
from seastreet :
If forced to choose between the primrose path of snobbery and continuing to crawl up the mud road of egalitarianism... I guess I'd just try to switch off as often as possible.
from bluesunhat :
Dumb? No. Full of ideas, therefore creating possibility, and thus life? Yes.
from harri3tspy :
I lived in Davis Square. Morrison Ave., to be exact. When I first moved there I had a long-term temp job at the Radcliffe Alumni Association. I loved the walk up Mass Ave. to work on nice days!
from raven72d :
Perhaps Muslims simply couldn't draw very well.
from seastreet :
OK, accompanied you for a drink? And anyway, professor Butler, notice that Mr. Rogers said that a girl CAN someday be a lady, and a boy CAN someday be the other thing. I wouldn't think Mr. Rogers quite so subversive if he hadn't implied that if a boy wanted to grow up to be a lady, that was fine by him. Consider me duly chastised nonetheless. :)
from thole :
larithmic: of or pertaining to the study of population statistics.
from raven72d :
Bear in mind that it was Reza Shah who began the process of creating a modern Iran, and that Mossadeq's inability to actually govern and his complex pas de deux with the Russians and the Tudeh party were setting up the possibility of a pro-Soviet Iran. Remember-- this was 1953, only a few years after the Soviets had occupied much of northern Iran and put in a puppet government there. Even Iranians sharply critical of the Shah (see the memoir "Blood and Oil", e.g.) understood that Mossadeq was a well-meaning fool.
from shiitake :
You know, your journal is usually a bit on the dour side, but now that I'm in grad school, too, I can completely understand the dourness. It's unavoidable.
from raven72d :
The best thing is-- exactly as I would do myself --never to open any reply you get from the Crush Object. Delete any reply unopened, lest it contain Bad News.
from raven72d :
A Small Domestic Archaeopteryx is the best bird pet to have.
from mousepoet :
if lovebirds are hand-fed from birth, they are extremely docile, and can be trained to do lots of cool tricks. (i have one lovebird that is that way... my other one has gone feral :( )
from raven72d :
Herat is one of the cities-- Balkh', "Mother of Cities", is the other --where I hope to go by Bactrian camel caravan... It's a city where I want to read Persian poetry by a ruined blue tile pool...
from troilus :
Thank you very much for your considered response. If you don't mind, I'll post my rejoinder to your thoughts by e-mail in the next couple of days - e-mail because I anticipate that my response will be of quite some length.
from raven72d :
Not wild and debauched? But that's the very definition of cool! And the proper answer to anyone who says, "Oh, you're at [Ivy school], you must think you're smarter than everybody" is..."Yes-- and taller, too." In an utterly deadpan voice.
from seastreet :
Henpecked to death. If I have to listen to any of the toothless wonders I work with shout obscenities at their kids over the phone one more time, I'll... just go back to work, but, uh, more resentfully than ever. Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say about History of Sexuality. It's one (or three, rather) of those books that I find infuriating and obnoxious and completely wrong and that nags at me all the time anyway.
from insensatezz :
9,000 doesn't even count Afghanis. And I think a better estimation of Iraqi casualties (even affirmed by Donald Rumsfeld) is over 10,000.
from culotte :
so true. You are right as rain. Thank you for the affirmation
from bluesunhat :
Don't delete your own entries. I did that once, and a month or so afterwards, when the reason for deleting them faded, I really regreted it, and have ever since.
from raven72d :
don't give up on painting...
from seastreet :
See, that's exactly why I cringe when I think of that essay. With the advantage of a little more life, I see that if Levin were a 21st century American, he'd clearly be the kind of guy who'd eventually dump Kitty, buy a Harley, quit his job, and bounce from motel to motel on fraudulent unemployment claims. I don't like Levin anymore. Also, odalisk, you are the only person I think I've heard of who's taken up loneliness in order to combat drinking.
from raven72d :
I will miss you when you leave D-Land, too. But I'm glad to hear that you feel stable and determined and happy today.
from thole :
oh, i am happy for you! i will miss you when you leave.
from raven72d :
Myself, I pity the nation that takes Foucault seriously. In any situation, someone is the Good Guy-- usually the most stylish, clever, ironic, and English-speaking character...
from mousepoet :
at some basal level, maybe you fear leaving that role -- you don't want to grow up, and hence you resist every opportunity? your rational mind knows what the right to do is, and yet your emotional side doesn't want to give up that "despair crutch" as an excuse for failure...
from moonshine76 :
Just surfing through journals. :) What sort of photograph was it?
from raven72d :
The Ba'ath Party in Iraq and Syria developed out of European fascist models-- see Michel Aflaq, the fiunder... Rashid Ali in Iraq (the "Golden Square" group c. 1940/41) saw the Nazis as patrons and allies, enough so to offer the Germans bases in Iraq and oil access (the British invaded via India and put a stop to it). To some extent, in the 1930s lots of groups-- in the Muslim world, in Asia, in South America --saw the Fascists, the National Socialists, and Stalin as options, alternative choices, for modernization-- "developmental dictatorships". The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem in the 1930s and 1940s saw the Nazis as ideologically compatible (anti-Jewish) and also as a way to attack the British. (He made broadcasts from Berlin during the war for the Germans) But remember: it was Lebanese Maronites, the Phalangists, *not* Israelis, who did the killing at Sabra and Shatilla in '82. Their reason was basic and simple enough: revenge for the assassination of one of the Gemayel clan, the Maronite leaders. One can argue that the Israelis should have stopped them (or stopped them sooner) or that the Israelis didn't care what happened, but they didn't do the killing or order it.
from pornoviolent :
come on baby light my fire
from amarantha21 :
Is the backpacking trip through some organized group like the Sierra club, or is it just something you and your family do every year?
from amarantha21 :
Hi Erin. After seeing all the posts to my guestbook, I realized that I never replied to any of your comments. So--thank you for all the suggestions about vegetarian food in France; I wish I had an opportunity to try them out. As for the Boston thing--I don't know how Harvard acted before you were admitted, but I think it might have been different because my meeting was mainly at MIT, and because it was actually an interview. So, the whole time they were trying to impress upon you how hard it was to get to the point of getting an interview so that you wouldn't feel bad when you didn't go farther. As for having fun and free time--well, the culture at MIT (at least in engineering research) is such that you would feel like a slacker if you didn't spend weekends and nights poring over your books and experiments. At least, that is the impression I got from the 5-6 people I talked to. It might actually be different if you went in through the Harvard part of the program and did your research at a hospital rather than on the MIT campus. Also, you were right about my offhand, blanket, mean generalizations about French people. It was unforgiveable of me to lump all people into that pat categorization, and more importantly, just plain ridiculous and wrong. I think that is all--have a lovely day! Smiles Tia
from amarantha21 :
thanks for the lovely descriptions of Egypt. I hope all goes well for you this year.
from elgan :
Thank you so much for sharing your summer in Cairo with us. Your descriptions are vivid and I feel now as though I have really seen the place through your eyes. It has been a beautiful experience.
from raven72d :
"hit the sheets" is a bad expression... and i think you're wrong about something: boys like to have sex with attractive girls; girls like to have sex with boys who aren't me. simple enough.
from elgan :
I am so incredibly envious of you. I adore caves! The Glifada cave in the Mani peninsula in Greece is much like the one you describe where you took the rowboat. I just love the natural formations and being underground. I also understand your frustration with your father. I experience the same thing with my mother to the point where I want to scream or leave. Try the same calming technique you used with the scuba diving, forcing yourself to relax, and it might help.
from raven72d :
Scuba diving is incredible. Baalbek is worth seeing-- though the whole area is part of the drug-growing/processing world that funds groups like Hezbollah...
from raven72d :
I suppose I can be pleased that you're getting to have sex and that your body can still respond. But your description of why the Male there in your bed is useful/attractive... *sigh*. Once again, I'm reminded why no girl is likely to want me naked near her.
from raven72d :
Just an editorial note: You might want to re-think juxtaposing the two sentences "I went to the zoo" and "I had really memorable sex". You might not want those two sentences one after the other. Just an editorial thought...
from raven72d :
Howard Zinn's "alternative history" is mostly "alternative" to facts. He's almost a cartoon of a 1930s Marxist overlaid with a simplistic belief in the goodness of "revolutionaries". A rich Palestinian...if he's connected with the Palestinian leadership at all, he's connected to a clique of thugs who traded in leftist platitudes and violence in the 1980s for mere thievery in the 1990s and have left their people open to religious fanatics...and who still believe in exterminating Israel and Israelis.
from raven72d :
I envy you seeing what's left of the world of David Roberts prints... And the cultists-- well, Hellenistic tour boats were full of the same people. And no one has ever--*ever*--not needed weapons in villages in Nubia.
from elgan :
I'm just wondering if the pantless man is a plumber on his native soil.
from raven72d :
Never doubt your choice of interests. You chose the Orient; its history and culture speak to you on some instinctive level. Trust that. And don't let your belief in your own intellect lie in tatters. You're in grad school at a prestigious university, you're learning Arabic (which stumped Friedrich Engels, by the way), you're able to do research and write. Believe in yourself, and enjoy life as an expat.
from elgan :
70%! That is shocking!
from raven72d :
Horseback, moonlight, pyramids-- a pure and lovely T.E. Lawrence moment!
from elgan :
Sand fleas! Sorry about the sunburn.
from raven72d :
Just a note: Hermann Hesse was right. "Steppenwolf" does mean more and more as one grows older.
from raven72d :
Strolling on the Corniche... There's a charm even to the phrase. One should always be in a city where one can stroll along the Corniche in late afternoon.
from elgan :
Congrats on the painless wedding!
from raven72d :
I remember "Passage to India"... And remember always (even about Judy Davis in the film) that I never quite understood the Malabar Caves...
from raven72d :
More than a cheap thrill: manga and aneems are the worlds in which we'd live if we were lucky...
from raven72d :
Why is "Orientalizing" a Bad Thing?
from elgan :
Men, especially middle-eastern men, tend to think that they are god's gift to western women. They have no idea that we may think they are unattractive because they have this false image that American girls are fast and loose. Could it be the media? Even I, travelling in Greece with my husband and children, had to fend off the mashers.
from raven72d :
I do hope you feel better... All the more reason to crry the little packets of Oral Rehydrating Salts with you. But...the entry...ummmm...*way* too much information.
from elgan :
I hope you're feeling better. What a horrible experience.
from elgan :
Your descriptions are beautiful; I can practically see what you describe. One of the problems with gas heat is that the pilot light can go out, and then you can asphyxiate yourself. Not to alarm you, just to alert you.
from raven72d :
Why do you think that you're "taking advantage" of people in either the US or Foreignjia? And the Palette of Narmer... I've always wondered-- what kinds of cosmetics/paint were daubed on it?
from raven72d :
But please don't end up a bald leather queen like Foucault! (An image of that head was the game wheel on my semi-mythical game show "Wheel of Foucault")
from raven72d :
Hmmm... the west side of the Nile? But of course...that's where a necropolis would go! The west side is closer to the Western Lands of the dead... I'd be spooked.
from elgan :
Any chance you might post photographs of your digs and the neighbourhood? It all sounds so exotic, Iíd love to see it.
from raven72d :
You're not the only person ever to check in on the wrong day. Don't feel so bad... But do enjoy the adventure!
from elgan :
Have a GREAT adventure!
from raven72d :
Enjoy the trip. Don't worry about the revised paper 'til you get back.
from raven72d :
Don't you dare abandon this diary! I enjoy reading you...
from floodtide :
I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but: In all your deliberations about continuing/not continuing on a particular path, how much thought have you given to whether or not you'll enjoy the doing of it on a daily basis? I.e., do you like doing this work, apart from whether or not any particular grad prof or advisor is going to think it's 'A' calibre or not? I'm the first to say how incredibly naive I am about academia, but I still think your level of intelligence is simply not an issue here - nor is your ability to succeed academically. It may be, simply (there's that word again, sorry; I know nothing is simple), do you WANT to? Oh, fuck me, I'm not saying this well at all. Sorry. Love, flood
from raven72d :
Grad school can be the best twelve years of your life! And the alternative is...some blue-collar life among the canaille. That's why I stayed in grad school and then law school til I ran out of classes and degrees.
from raven72d :
You were accepted to a prestigious program, girl. You have talents. You must know that at some level. Don't think of yourself ever as lacking in skills or talents.
from amarantha21 :
Hi there. You once gave me advice that I found useful when writing my statement of purpose. Basically, you told me that I should write what I could contribute to the field, not why I wanted to be in graduate school. I think it might help to ask yourself the same question. If you still think that you can contribute a fresh viewpoint to the discipline, then you should stick with it. Of course, the second question you have to ask is, whether the sacrifices you will make in order to contribute something will be worth it, but I think that if the answer to the first question is yes, then the answer to the second may follow as well. As far as the criticism of your teachers goes--I don't think you should worry about that too much. I think that every graduate student, even the ultimately really successful ones, feel violated and beaten down their first year. Have you asked any of the other people in the program if they are feeling the same way? It might help to know you aren't the only one feeling overwhelmed. Anyways, I personally think you are capable of doing something great (but I don't know anything about Islamic architecture). I do wish you luck.
from writeandread :
Hi I don't know if you ever came across this. You say you'd like someone else's opinion about the whole academic thing, se here's mine. http://writeandread.diaryland.com/040203_79.html Good luck, and thanks for the good stories. p.s. Cairo is great!
from shiitake :
These, these are the sorts of things I fear about going to graduate school. *shudder*
from raven72d :
I'd have stalked back and poured the coffee on the guard and yelled at her. That's what prole staff are for.
from floodtide :
Dear, Beautiful Odalisk: How are you, stranger? Sometimes I miss the brief correspondence we had. For now, though: thanks for your lovely entry today on Moments in History, and thanks, too, for taking the time to cheer a gay marriage. That support matters, and those of us who couldn't be there in person are grateful to those who were. Love, flood
from raven72d :
Excellent eyes in all those photos.
from sabathine :
"I can't imagine enjoying the pain and humiliation of another person like that." - - I agree with this, its something I say often, about this but also about other things similar...
from elgan :
Ha ha, they're not RED, my leather pants, they're BLACK. Thanks for the Motherís Day wishes!
from raven72d :
White and khaki are the essential colors for travel in the eastern Med... A white linen or khaki jacket is as key as it gets for being in Alexandria or Istanbul... A Panama hat, too.
from elgan :
White is such an impractical colour, and yet I love it. Wear what you like, donít think of it as a reflection of your political or otherwise leanings. If you look good in white pants, go for it!
from raven72d :
Books-- W.G. Sebald, esp. "The Rings of Saturn" and "The Emigrants". You might also like Amin Maalouf's "Samarkand". And Kurban Said's "Girl From the Golden Horn". Sebald is *always* worth reading. And...Alan Booth's "Roads to Sata".
from raven72d :
The photo is quite lovely and not at all "plastic". Now-- people did odd things when I was at New Haven, but do people really wander about Cambridge carrying manuscripts in kufic script? Do they sit in cardboard kiosks on the Common holding signs that say, "Help identify my Syriac manuscript"?
from softblossoms :
hello! i feel compelled to send you a note since i recently had my ears pierced (6 weeks ago) AND got a bad haircut. too many layers! *sigh*
from raven72d :
Always tell yourself-- a haircut, however awful, will reshape itself over a few weeks. A couple of weeks in, you can it re-done. But I am intrigued by the locked Rant entry. I wonder what's there...
from raven72d :
I do admire Shannon's skills at storytelling, his minimalist apartment, and his taste for the arcane and obscure.
from elgan :
Actually, I'm just quoting the instructions from "Poetry for Dummies". I would say to pronounce it like a gamma in modern Greek, which is quite similar to a gutteral French "R". Anyway, I don't mind your interesting insights. They're welcome any time.
from raven72d :
In the early 90s there was even a glossy magazine called POZ for HIV+ people... The warnings from the AUC people are disheartening. What's the point of a foreign city at all, if not to get away from one's old life?
from elgan :
Why canít you have it all: love and travel? Itís so nice to travel with the one you love, provided of course you travel well together. My husband and I nearly got a divorce the first day of our honeymoon driving to Quebec City from Toronto, spending 8 hours together in a car. But you get better at it with time.
from elgan :
Poor you! You obviously donít live near any really fine French pastry shops. This is Quebec, as close as you can get to France inshore N. America, and theyíre everywhere! Pity me!
from raven72d :
Ummm... the little band instead of a belt round the tuxedo pants. Are you sure that isn't a symbolic belief that he has a small penis?
from stupidshit :
Hey you don't know me but thats never stopped me before. But I will be moving to Boston at the end of the month. Would you do me the honor of a very classic dinner and movie? I realize you know nothing of me so you can email me at [email protected] or leave a guestbook message. Either way nice diary.
from raven72d :
By the age of 21, a girl should have slept with at least one guy for every year old she is. Just as, from 25 or so, one should make a *bare minimum* of a thousand dollars a year for every year old you are. (That saying appeared in a 1980 magazine article-- I assume the dollar figures will have to be adjusted)
from botanologia :
Wow. You just described my life. Or at least the last two weeks. Ever get those dreams where you think of a great idea for a sentence or a paragraph, and the excitement of it wakes you up so fast that you forget what it was? (Which is just as well because so often the idea was about how so-and-so author must came up with his thesis by eating cranberries, or something like that.)
from raven72d :
I have an affinity for cultures in decay, cultures and cities in twilight. I did my PhD on the late Habsburg Monarchy, after all. But I am adding "valorize the marginal" to my list of euphemisms for the Solitary Vice.
from raven72d :
Again-- *this* (the Great Scot's attitude) is one key reason why you must carry a rolled-up copy of the Asahi Shimbun with which to mete out condign punishment to the Inconvenient and Useless.
from raven72d :
Even in the early Ottoman times, Iraq was just "the land between"-- a place *not* Persia or Arabia or Syria, *not* a place with any great value since the Mongols came through Baghdad except as a buffer against the Persians and a road to the Gulf. But remember-- the alternative to "European" parliamentary government is...autocracy or tribal/sectarian chaos. Where has any other real choice emerged?
from elgan :
Thanks for your note and your amendment. I have also reflected your change in my own diary entry. I especially liked Smirkwoodís admonition that you should never stuff an alien up your nose. Good advice.
from elgan :
Two things: I didnít say that eating crisp alien was permissible, I added the proviso that the the diner had to be truly starving (or why else would the protagonists in ALIVE have eaten their dead teammates when cannibalism was not a regular way of life for them). I also didnít say that it was permissible for a vegetarian to eat the leaves of a sentient plant, I just said it was understandable if he were to do so. Just wanted to clarify for you.
from falo :
Hi Odalisk Happy Easter. Best, O.
from elgan :
Thanks for your note. The fish thing is a problem, I know. There's also been shown to be high concentrations of PCBs and other chemicals in farmed salmon and other fatty fish. It's not a mainstay in our diets. A dozen eggs will last us a whole month. But I have given it much thought.
from raven72d :
The question becomes-- what would aliens *taste* like?
from elgan :
Wow! I'd love a semi-fitted, below-the-knee silk skirt! Hope you're feeling better soon.
from amarantha21 :
Hi Erin. Glad you had a good holiday with the family and friends. I was wondering whether you could suggest a good vegetarian restaurant in Paris. I am staying in the 6 arrondisement, near rue de sevres, although today I am in the 1 arrondisement near the centre pompidou. I used to LOVE french onion soup, but all of it here is made with beef stock. Any suggestions? Hope you get back into the swing of classes and the Boston lifestyle. Thanks, Tia
from johnnieutah :
i grew up in dana point and its so amazing to read about you strolling through san juan capistrano.
from johnnieutah :
cheap casual sex has its merits. but often cannot be planned or plotted. whatever you do, use sensible precautions. have fun! i am excited for you.
from elgan :
What, no pictures?
from thole :
so. "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." did you think that was a happy ending? i found it depressing, in a "those who don't know their history..." sort of way. but maybe that's just the mood i am in.
from elgan :
What an absolutely delicious-sounding brunch menu!
from midnighthope :
i was thinking primarily about chinggis incorporating people from other inner asian troops--but i suspect it's pretty different from what was happening with the ottoman empire. it makes sense that it would be heavily influenced by the timurids. and i don't know anything about the mamluk empire so you may very well be right. if you don't mind me asking--where are you going to school?
from midnighthope :
p.s. aforementioned comment was left at meeyapede's comment area.
from midnighthope :
i read your comment about the ottoman bureaucracies and i was wondering if you knew about any possible mongol influence on it? it smacks of genghis/chinggis khan to me. but the time and distance might be too great for there to be any specific relationship.
from meeyapede :
Hey, I responded to yr comment in my diary before I'd realized that it was from you- just to be clear, I did NOT mean to imply that those inventions were Xian. It was a West/East distinction, not a religious one, and I include Spain in the W. Yeah, I know, I'm obsessive, but few things irk me more than when I'm unclear &/or misunderstood. Okeydokey? :)
from mrgrey :
My chica is quite the girly girl. She just wanted something a bit naughty. Thanks for your suggestions, I'll check them both out.
from chasingastar :
I pierced my tongue (not by myself - perhaps it'd be more proper to say "I had my tongue pierced") about two years ago and discovered the same thing that you have - that everyone has advice about how to take care of a piercing. My tongue piercing lasted 8 months before I tired of it...hope your ears last longer :)
from elgan :
Congrats on the Arabic mark. A propos ear piercing, I have never had mine done, I have no intention of ever having it done, and your entry just confirmed what I have always known, that I will die with virgin lobes.
from thole :
best thanks for the encouraging note - i have very thick, straight and unforgiving hair, and every mistake shows. on the bright side, i no longer look like ramona quimby, age eight.
from raw-voice :
ah, so you, too, are on the behavorial ferris wheel. around and around we go. however, i agree with you - it's a long term process. i just hate feeling sticky and gross when it's beautiful outside!
from elgan :
Thanks for adding me to your favourites. Welcome aboard!
from chasingastar :
Phooey. I was enjoying that you were the only person I knew besides myself with unpierced ears.
from sussitta :
I absolutely loved reading your entries. I'm definitely adding you as a favorite. My diary is locked, so if you want a password, just drop me a note. :) I'd gladly give you access.
from oed :
I completely enjoyed reading your reflections on the beauty of men. In my 20's, I was so surprised to see how some men my age grew into their "bloom of youth" -- and now, in my 40's, I see how they have grown out of it. But the ones I believed were beautiful then still seem so to me. Women, on the other hand, seem always to grow more beautiful to me -- especially beyond youthy blooming. Funny, that.
from amarantha21 :
Thanks for the suggestions. I'm going up to Boston for an interview with MIT Engineering program. I'll definitely take your suggestions--I've been having all these wistful fantasies of green leafy vegetables and yummy yummy vegetarian sandwiches. (You can't really eat raw veggies here in India). Dubai is a really interesting place--it tries to balance supreme capitalism, tolerance, liberalism, and an Arab identity. It's kind ofa neat place, and I wish I understood the place better or had time to do more than aimless wander the streets. I hope I answered your questions, and about the silence, I know what you mean...lately, I oscillate between feeling full to bursting with things to say and having absolutely no desire to express myself. Smiles tia
from amarantha21 :
Hi Erin. Glad to see you're feeling a bit better about your life and love in general. Anyways, I was coming to Boston, and I remember you writing one time about pecan pie ice cream. I know it sounds silly, but I was really curious to try this ice cream--can you recommend a good place? Also, are there any tasty vegetarian restaurants around either the Harvard or MIT campuses? Thanks for your help. Smiles Tia.
from brideof7less :
The best men always seem to come around when you're not looking, when you've written men off entirely. Good luck and I hope you feel better about life in general. I completely understand where you are coming from, not only about men, but also about jonesing for Turkey.
from botanologia :
Plant and animal sex characteristics developed in every way independently from each other. The lineages that would become the plant and animal kingdoms split in the Pre-Cambrian, as single cell organisms. Plant sexual characteristics of the kind you describe (flowering plants/Angiosperms) did not arise until quite recently, near the end of the age of Dinosaurs. In fact most modern botanists cringe a bit when "male" and "female" characteristics are used to describe plant characteristics that have no true analogue to animals (or in your example, specifically to mammals). If you are observing similarities, they can at best be ascribed to similar selection pressures (i.e. - the usefulness of enclosed gestation for protecting an embryo from the elements), and not to a common ancestor or to a teleological genetic imperative. Can you tell I have been studying for quals non-stop all weekend? Ack. Ignore me.
from pushpull :
thank you...strength is just what i need.
from daisydee1 :
A very beautiful diary. Having majored in art history in college, I could relate to the whole professor thing. I loved your description of the food!
from floodtide :
Your entry today in response to Bush's "Meet the Press" interview was exceptionally cogent. You said it far better than I could have. THANK YOU. Love, flood
from brideof7less :
Not so bad, huh? I think it would be nice and good for me to be so cursed, but itís hard to see the fun in that. Not to mention that I tend to ignore the negative aspects of relationships until they descend upon me. Where Iím from though (Vegas), it seems to be quantity over quality. Hopefully, when I get the hell out of here, itíll be the latter or nothing at all, but, unfortunately, I have no restraint.
from amarantha21 :
Hey Erin, thanks for the birthday wishes. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, and your description of her really made me feel as if I knew her. I felt the same way about my grandmother, that I wished I knew her better and had put aside my conception that we were different people. I spent a lot of time thinking that she couldn't understand my success and goals and therefore didn't want to be too close to me. Anyways, don't be too upset about the grade, it's just a jumping off point, and you seem to do a good job of learning from your mistakes, so each successive try will be better. smiles Tia
from thole :
oh dear. at least you emerged with an a-minus. me, i crashed, burned and failed altogether - but i guess it's not very comforting to know that things can always be worse. sympathy nevertheless.
from floodtide :
Thank you for the beautiful and thoughtful and thought-provocative tribute to your grandmother's life. I was moved by her story and your generous sharing of it. I'm a little ashamed of how little interest I took in grandparents as they came near to their deaths, which were similarly lingering, and it helped me some to read of your experiences. Oh, and I finally got going reading the Lemony Snicket books this summer: each one is a terrific, awful delight, and I have you to thank for turning me on to them. Love, flood
from classicmyass :
Sorry if this response is late...I'd love to read anything you'd like to submit for Classic My Ass. You can e-mail it to me at [email protected] Thanks!
from thole :
i am sorry to hear of your family's loss.
from mijelah :
I just wanted to give my condolences on the death of your grandmother. I also wanted to say that your diary is quite interesting - an ardent, passionate, and erudite look into the life of someone who lives daily an examined life. Fascinating.
from botanologia :
I had never made the connection between bad naming trends and romance novels before! I feel both enlightened and slightly nauseated. Thanks!
from ghanima :
Not sure you know me...but...*squirm*...if you want to support a creative person on Diaryland who has finally found an outlet for her bizarrely intellectual work...I found a publisher for my book and it's in pre-order mode--the link is on my site. I feel weird about plugging it to you, though I am sure we've talked at some point...anyway. I'm not usually very mercantile. Ahem. Long time reader...
from amarantha21 :
I certainly hope that you can learn to value your own ability and just let your natural passion for the subject matter take over. It's sad to see you freeze up and be wracked by anxiety about failure, because from the outside it is so obvious how frighteningly competent and exceptional you are. Good luck, although of course you don't really need it.
from raven72d :
Why be ashamed of low culture-- if you have the proper sense of irony--?
from raven72d :
A vur' good selection of books for 2003...
from pushpull :
Well, be glad he's gone either way. Anyhow, I'm just not interested at ALL. It seems painful, uncomfortable, and unpleasurable in any way.
from pushpull :
What he's doing isn't bullying; I hope it didn't come across that way. He'd just like to try it [he's never done it before either]. It's not like I'm a sexual prude or anything, it's just that I'm not interested in anal at all. He's the best I've ever had in bed and I'd like to try it, but only for his sake. I'm not interested. Good for you for kicking that guy to the curb!
from molzo :
Hi. I wrote in a guestbook about LOtR, and you responded. So, here are my mian beefs with the movie: 1) No Tom Bombadil. I understand this, but it still annoyed me. 2) Funky timeline. Like, but the second movie, Frodo and Samwise should've been on the stairs toward the back door of Mordor. They weren't, so they left out the bit about the Shire being all messed up when they returned. I think it was important to show the Shire was touched by evil as well, and the movies didn't show that. 3) Faramir's character. They totally changed his personality! That really annoyed me. 4) The women. I can't totally remember Liv Tyler's true character, so I won't go into that...but I know for sure she wasn't the one who called the river on the horsemen after Frodo was injured. And, the one soldier girl didn't die in battle. That totally annoyed me as well. 5) Farmir's Lair and The Ents' Lair. I was really excited to see those sets, and they weren't in the film. I was totally annoyed by that too. So, taking into account those things, I felt the movie wasn't as true to the book as it good be. Granted, I haven't seen the five-hour versions yet. But I feel that if you're going to make three three-hour movies, you should at least stay true to some of the things I mentioned. I things those are pretty big holes. How about you?
from raven72d :
If there's no standard, there can be no real beauty, only everyone finding themselves beautiful, which is so utterly untrue.
from raven72d :
I've never seen an episode of Sex and the City. I do feel culturally deprived.
from raven72d :
Amethyst and topaz, emerald and onyx... Beautiful stones.
from absinthesigh :
Happy Birthday! I love your diary's new look BTW (I meant to say something earlier!). Your entry about jewelry and gems really took me back. I loved rocks and stones as a child. My brother had a rock polisher and the sound of that barrel turning in the garage was a constant element in our family's soundtrack 8-). I too recently have become re-interested in jewelry and stones again. I actually bought a Topaz bracelet, the stones reminded me of my Dad's eyes. I truly enjoy reading your diary, thank you so much! with love, ophelia
from bexx :
Hello, just visiting. Happy birthday. I am a jan baby as well. -BeXx
from floodtide :
A birthday should always be special; there is no age at one shouldn't enjoy having a fuss made over one. It's the day on which those of use who appreciate and love you should remind you that we're grateful for your presence here with us; we're quite simply grateful that you were born, and on your birthday we should remember to celebrate that. Happy birthday, a few days late, with love from flood.
from trinity63 :
I don't think you are a bad person at all! I think you are 23. You have so many years ahead of you to do things that are right for you. I think you are plenty misunderstood. But I think the best part about what you wrote is that you recognize something in you that perhaps you want to change. And now you can:) Oh me being from Oregon -- You just missed a big snow storm. I am posting pictures of what it looks like if you are interested. Oh one more thing -- just because I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I think you are a bad person. We can all become better people. The older I become (41 in the upcoming year) the more I understand that I don't know. And life it all about learning:) You are bright, smart, and intelligent -- it'll all come together:) I promise:)
from mousepoet :
i think you're beating yourself up too much on the whole family thing. you made first steps. give yourself time. that was a wonderful entry.
from raw-voice :
i hope you'll be joining us in this week's challenge!
from trinity63 :
*whatever* Erin.
from raven72d :
Note-- a sword is *not* a substitute for a penis. A penis is a very poor substitute for a sword. With a penis, one can (maybe) get sex. With a sword, one can get sex, revenge, and money. A much better thing. Spiders aren't labia. Spiders are...cool.
from trinity63 :
Erin - you are just batting a thousand. To make light of Mousepoet and his experiences as a child takes the cake. It's very clear to me that you are very white, Wonder Bread white. It's also very clear to me that you are terribly young. It's even more so apparent that unless you have personally experienced something unpleasant or challenging in your life you have zero empathy. Racism regardless of how or when it strikes is a very very sad. And while I realize that your comments are probably all "Dsurvivor" related -- "Ooooh, and if I had a soul I'm sure I'd be weeping now. Tell me, Michael: do you think you're the only person in the world who's ever suffered? Or do you just think that only your suffering counts?" I think that they were over the line. But that's just me. I am guessing you haven't ever really had to personally suffer. And sacrifice is different than suffering. So Erin, please for your sake, find a soul, perferably your own, don't be a vampire and take someone else's. And yea, your thoughtless remark really irritated me.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks for your comments. This is something I'd never really given much thought to before until I read that article, but the question of building something to stand for memory fascinates me. I think you're absolutely right about people not being ready to see the weakness. I guess that's what I meant when I said I didn't think the designs were really memorials. I'm interested in the German memorials you mentioned. Perhaps I'll try to track them down.
from raven72d :
Among the many other things (e.g., his politics) I can never forgive that useless leftista Foreignji Edward Said for is the way he tried to ruin the word "exotic". What exactly is wrong with the concept of "exotic"?
from tou-mou :
to support your vagina theory: none of the ringbearers gets laid. Bilbo is a bachelor, as is Gollum. Frodo never gets witha girl, although Sam gets married and has kids, as do the rest of the fellowship, according to Tolkein. Yep. Sauron is a big vagina.
from raven72d :
Now-- whyever can you not find places like Arabia exotic? After all-- strange landscape, alien culture, dangerous, full of Natives, far away... Isn't that the very definition of Exotic? And I must ask-- why is the Eye of Sauron vaginal? Is *anything* round or ovoid vaginal? As a male, I've never thought vaginas were eye-like in the least, or that they ever had a "gaze". (I never grasped "one-eyed trouser snake" as a penis-euphemism, either) Ms. Jolie needs to be in films where she's, well, *naked* more. And/or uses weaponry. Anything else seems a waste of beauty.
from pushpull :
I really delighted in being called an elegant woman; to be honest, it usually isn't most people's first words when they think of me. I thought your exit interview went very well. Oh, and, I'm on the lookout for a good sugar daddy for you. ;)
from raven72d :
Alas, quiche. I can't eat cheese or tomato.
from raven72d :
I still just want a pony.
from raven72d :
After a lifetime of thinking I was at least competent at sex, law school and deprivation have convinced me that I was *never* any good in bed, that girls had always lied to me, that everyone else is, by definition, better in bed, that I possess no skills or the possibility of acquiring them, and that I'm too disgusting to look at ever to be naked in front of a girl ever again. The issue of "what's good in bed" now reduces me to violent self-loathing. I believe that every girl I've ever been with thought I was inept and appalling and that every other-- *any other* --guy she was with was always better. [This is the same set of beliefs that explains why I never published any papers or books, just by the way...]
from livingwreck :
And, of course, if you do worry about how good you are when you are in bed with someone, you won't relax and enjoy it. My advice, for what it's worth (and I'm guessing not much) is to just be yourself - I'm sure you're great.
from raven72d :
Telephones... All my best conversations (and sex) have been by telephone. Cheaper and less threatening or risky or inconvenient than dealing with people face to face (F2F, isn't it?)...
from pushpull :
luv ya. don't worry...i've found that being gone from ds5 is more of a blessing than a curse.
from saxyjackclar :
Your guestbook sucks. I'm such a sucker for facial skin care. I am always so interested in what other people are using, because I have yet to find something that works for me (I have terrible acne... I do a dynamite job covering it up though with cheapass concealer). I cannot seem to find a soap that will not dry out my face. I'm not sure if that is what is causing my acne or not. I just cannot get rid of it, and even if I am a gay man, putting on makeup every morning makes me feel like a woman.
from thole :
your guide to beauty products is much appreciated! i will be picking things from your list to give my sister this holiday season - both you and she have tastes one million times more refined than mine.
from thole :
your guide to beauty products is much appreciated! i will be picking things from your list to give my sister this holiday season - both you and she have tastes one million times more refined than mine.
from raven72d :
Body Time, it may be-- the place that does China Rain. I'm vur' fond of their shampoos and lotions. I like the scent of China Rain.
from raven72d :
Lawrence was a complicated character, and vur' unlike Peter O'Toole. There is a vur' good treatment of the political background in Fromkin's "A Peace To End All Peace". It's a pity that the English, who'd seen the necessity of keeping the Ottoman state alive for a couple of generations, found themselves trying to dismantle it and making promises to various native warlords...
from amarantha21 :
on Lawrence of Arabia and his sexuality: As far as I understand,his best friend in the movie was actually his lover in real life.
from pushpull :
it was totally a compliment. good luck to you.
from tokcocktok :
Hi there, I'm just randomly stopping by. Anyways, happy holidays :)
from mousepoet :
i so relate with your note. i too never thought of my mom as another's child. until today. thank you for your note and compassion. it is truly appreciated. really. i've been spending the evening trying to find some measure of solace -- i am close with my grandmother.
from raven72d :
I'm afraid of the Ampersand Project. Well-- I'm afraid of ampersands. They're far too Worm Ouroboros for me.
from raven72d :
Issycists?
from raven72d :
I have no idea what an iPod is... some kind of Discman thing? Hmmm... I find myself becoming something of a misogynist as I get older. Not that I hate women as such, it's just that I become ever more angry that I can't find a way to get them to have sex with me, perhaps ever again...that I can't seem to have any value in the eyes of attractive girls.
from galatearedux :
Is living in Morocco wonderful? I have quite a fantasy going. The fruit alone.
from raven72d :
Figuring out Lacan-- watch lots of David Cronenberg films. Or just read the two biographies in English. If you figure out Foucault, you're in serious trouble. That would be a sign of major derangement. Just imagine "Wheel of Foucault", the game show played by spinning a wheel shaped like the shaven head of Michel Foucault.
from raven72d :
I used to sit in the window seat of my rooms at Yale at watch snow drift down into the little courtyard... or go out and watch the snow on the little Prospect Street graveyard behind the Law School or just walk up from the stairs at Cross Campus and look up and see the snowflakes drifting down over Sterling Library. I miss snow-- the way it feels when it first hits the skin of one's face, the way it covers a courtyard...
from raven72d :
Do you subscribe to the theory that about 2/3 of the accepted Rembrandt catalog is really fake?
from mousepoet :
if our stuff is good enough, we should win all the time, yes. clearly this time and the last IC, they picked y'all. unless it's a pity vote, they picked yours out of their preference. hence, we must adjust and learn. it doesn't mean though that we can't be pissy and sore about losing. we've lost two in a row. we're bummed. i'm bummed.
from raven72d :
Bookstores are labyrinths... And they're places that I feel at home in...yet sad because I can't take all the books home, can't read them all, can't just know the other worlds in all those books.
from harri3tspy :
Thanks so much for the recommendation. I have actually been reading some Huyssen this week (I'd forgotten that this guy can actually write coherently, unlike many of the postmodern scholars I've had to slog through recently), but I haven't seen that book in quite some time and I have no recollection of the museum fetish portion. I'll definitely track it down as soon as possible!
from raven72d :
Would that be David Lynch's Red Room?
from raven72d :
When I read Dostoeyevsky, I agreed with the Grand Inquisitor's speech to Jesus. He made a vur' compelling case, actually.
from raven72d :
Phallic symbols on gendered tombs, yes, but don't forget that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar: in a steppe warrior culture, helmets may be helmets, the "pencase" may symbolize a sword as much as a penis.
from amarantha21 :
Hi. Thanks for the long note you've left for me about soap in Europe, etc, and sorry it took me so long to reply. The only problem is that my dermatologist has made me paranoid that if I use anything other than cetaphil soap on my arms and legs, this strange skin condition I have will horribly worsen and I will get leprosy. I'm sure it's not true, as I used other types of skin care products for years, but that's why regular soap has to be at least hypoallergenic, non-comodegenic, and very moisturizing. They probably have soaps like that in Paris at least, right? About the clothing, well, I don't mind thrift shopping, and I am trying to veer into wearing sophisticated clothing that makes me look my age, but I also have a tendency to wear things with little flowers embroidered on them, either fitted skirts, angular jackets, and a lot of jeans. I also like to have a few brightly colored clothes. Hmm, yes, I can see that this is difficult to explain. Well, let's see: here in the states, I like Anthropologie, but can't afford too much there. I like J Crew, but only if its on sale. I don't particularly like designer clothes, so that's not too much of a priority. Anyways, I hope that is a bit more specific, and if you have any suggested places to shop, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks a lot.
from raven72d :
I'm glad to hear that. Theory-- an obesession with theory --ruined doing serious history in the 1980s-90s. Return to source material is always good. Grand theories are fun, but without facts on the ground, they're meaningless and masturbatory in the worst sense. And there's a great thrill in finding something hidden, something lost there amid archives and letters...
from raven72d :
I envy you being someplace with museums...
from raven72d :
I never found wandering NYC to be dangerous or difficult. Peregrinating Manhattan was always fun. I miss it. But I have no idea how one installs tile.
from raven72d :
After seeing "Alien", how could anyone ever find pregnancy attractive?
from raven72d :
Thanksgiving in a world of your own making... I rather like that idea.
from cosmicrayola :
Just hopping in to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
from mousepoet :
what i knew at 23 was so small compared to what i know now. i have one another friend who did not wish pregnancy on herself, and felt the same from her twenties to her thirties, so much so that at 31 she had her ovaries removed. i guess you have that option. i won't ever know the rigors of pregnancy, of what it does to a woman's body. i also won't know what it means to give life and have a life grow of me or from me. if the grass seems greener to me on the woman's side for that respect, then i guess it does. guilty as charged. write me up as another dumb guy who doesn't know any better.
from raw-voice :
perhaps you've misunderstood. all i'm asking for is a bit of humility in the place of this rampant egotism i've seen displayed lately by "popular" diarists. most of the diarists i've read who were truly talented and had master the craft of storytelling (and there are many) didn't spend entire entries bragging about it, nor did they use every possible channel through which to call attention to themselves. i suppose it's the big car/little dick syndrome in a new context. what i'd really like to see is these self-proclaimed talents doing some showing instead of all this telling. the same goes for the hacks who profess their cruelty and wear it one their sleeves, yet who constantly leave me waiting for the punch line. quit talking about it and deliver!
from mousepoet :
give yourself some time before you trade in your ovaries...
from amarantha21 :
Hello. Since you are such a world traveler, I had a few questions for you. I have special cetaphil soap and aveeno facial soap that i have to use--do they sell all the American brands in France, England, Spain, Italy, Portugal,Greece or, Australia/New Zealand? Should i just bring 6 months of soap with me? Also, I was thinking of taking very little clothing and buying clothes as I go, but my mother seems to think that will be ridiculously expensive. Are there really cheap places to buy clothing in Paris or Australia, or am I just living a fantasy where I find stylish European clothes without emptying my pockets? If so, are they mainly thrift stores, and if so, what area are they in? Thanks Tia
from raven72d :
I hope I can get you to send me a copy of the reading list for the Mongol class... Steppe culture arts bibliographies are always useful...
from raven72d :
When reading Lacan or anything Lacanian, always remember: Jacques Lacan, Dr. Lecter, David Cronenberg-- it's pretty much the same... And the whole French-theory idea of the "gaze", the idea that one is "morally responsible" for sight is...well...a deliberate act of terror, a justification for terrorizing. Paying attentions to theoreticians among les Frogs is just...incorrect.
from raven72d :
If you could pretend to be a pubescent Tunisian boy you'd have a chance with Barthes... Now-- I do like girls who are slender and without the kind of bumps and curves that ruin the lines of high fashion... Legs matter...and cheekbones...and hipbones...not curves. I abhor the very idea of "bootylicious".
from raven72d :
I've never seen "Last Year in Marienbad"...and I have no theory of the unconscious. But I do have a small platypus stuffling nmaed Asmodeus.
from raven72d :
"the horrors of the quotidian"... *sigh*. the 60-minute hour is enough to send anyone to heroin or rye whiskey.
from rs536-2000 :
The first years of graduate school is good for enabling a person to feel dumb--I believe that it is one of the hoops they intend for you to jump through--that's my experience, anyway. Best of luck in overcoming those temptations!
from mousepoet :
*applause*
from trinity63 :
*giggle* I'd give you an *A* for theory:) But honey you need some steam in there:) This is a Harelquin Romance, where's the steam?:)
from raven72d :
I'm a great fan of steppe cultures and their art-- both Turkic and Mongol.
from botanologia :
Sigh. You had me at "hetero-normative"! Wow, I hate romance novels with a passion (not the heaving bosom type), but if you wrote them I would read all day. Though I would probably skip ahead to the good parts (i.e. the intelligencia). A beautiful deconstruction.
from raven72d :
Mongol? Dynasties? Are you doing some Central Asian/steppe cultures course that I just utterly envy??
from paleblue- :
Hi there, I really like the way you write and linked you mainly for the Whitely. I used to walk past a huge one eveyday on my way to work and would set of early just to sit in front of it and drink my morning coffee.
from mousepoet :
well, your statement hits to the heart on so many levels for me. i admire it for its candor and honesty; i hurt from it because it hits home; and i love it for the sheer efficiency and eloquence.
from thole :
you are exactly right. (and you would think that someone who read closely enough to pinpoint the two things about which i am the most sensitive, would not have mistaken my gender...)
from harri3tspy :
Just catching up with your diary. A belated thanks for the reply about fetishism. I guess I don't think of the term so broadly in my own work, but it's something to think about. Also you have made me homesick for coffee and Baba ghanoush at Algiers! I was a fixture there back when I worked at Aardvark.
from paperbridges :
totally. they're unlined currently but i think that's crappy, i just didn't have any coordinating fabric handy. but i'll find some and sew a pocket into the lining if you order, for sure!
from raven72d :
Where I live, there's a former plantation that got re-done as an office park. The slave quarters became renovated as The Quarters, an office complex used by...attorneys. There must be a message there, but I can't quite puzzle it out.
from roftlmao :
are you on boycraft oekaki?
from raven72d :
Central Asia-- try Richard Frye's "THe Heritage of Central Asia", David Morgan's "Medieval Persia", Marshall G. Hodgson's "The Venture of Islam"...
from thole :
you are a far better woman than i - presently, i am only learning the rules of my field so i will know to be diplomatic when i break them!
from smirkwood :
Hi Odalisk, I'm with your Mum, you're too tough on yourself. Queeet eeeet, you're too smart for that. It also sounded like you have a little trouble with public speaking ??? It's one of those things that take practice is all ... and life's all about practice and goof ups. Be nice to you ok. There's only one Odalisk, and I think if she was 100% perfect all the time she just might bore herself (the beauty is in the flaws, the mess ups and all the goofy things that happen) ... besides, if we were all perfect ... what else would there be to learn/experience/try in life. I'm now declaring today "Be nice to Odalisk day" ... so go paint your nails, eat a cookie and repeat the mantra "I will not beat myself up, I deserve all the cookies in the world, I am the one the only Odalisk"
from raven72d :
I like the phrase "authenticity fetish"... My own application of it would be in nationalist thought: the fetish for finding the "authentic" in a national culture and exclusing or suppressing anything defined as "inauthentic". E.g., the anguished 19th-c. question about what was or wasn't echt Deutsch... Works the same way in Eastern Europe or the Third World today. The "authentic"... well-- there's that new book on style and substance in American culture by Virginia Postrel that has a lot to say... Please never think of yourself as an "art historical Michael Moore"! That's such a disturbing and appalling image! You're far more articulate and presentable than Michael Moore (who, sadly, was once almost funny).
from thole :
but wouldn't it be far worse to produce neat and safe and boring work, than to somehow misplace your creative intensity? (if the answer isn't "yes," i'm altogether done for.)
from harri3tspy :
Ditto what beatgirlpoet said. I've been dealing a lot with obsessions with authenticity in the stuff I've been working with in music and am very interested in this idea. I love your diary. It's like reliving my early years of grad school. But better written.
from beatpoetgrrl :
i just tried to sign your guestbook and it booted me out. so i'll try here. i'm really interested in your theory of an "authenticity fetish." would you mind explaining further? i haven't read proust (which i should really remedy), but i'd like to at least hear your thesis statement. i'm jealous; i want to be doing academic presentations! bpg
from trinity63 :
Hey I am with you on biting off more than you can chew...hang in there baby!
from mousepoet :
abgha - desire, want.
from mousepoet :
scary. my father's first job in america was a butcher. daniel defoe's dad: a butcher... you are amazing.
from mousepoet :
i hope my entry for you does you justice. because really, i enjoy your work and writing. and i hope i did not insult your arabic :)
from cosmicrayola :
You, my dear flatter me and I thank you. I am keeping you on my favorite list after the contest. You are a beautiful writer. Not only that, but I am going out tomorrow and buying a copy of Treasure Island. You reminded me of how much I loved that book when I was younger. I think I would like to read it again. You are inspirational. And just for the record, I am not saying this for any other reason but that it is true.
from jason75 :
ha! I think I like my pirate.. I am secretly quite nice!
from shiitake :
Spanish textbooks, at least the ones I've had in classes, are about two things: food and political unrest. Eggs and dictators, beef and labor strikes, cabbage and military coups.
from jason75 :
I need to know how to make vegan buffalo wings!!! I have never heard of them!
from amarantha21 :
whoa! Pecan pie ice cream! That sounds so delicious. I have never seen that in the supermarkets here, and this is the home of pecan pie, where pecans dent cars in because they're falling from trees. Is this just a Boston thing? yummy.
from pnkpnthr :
Just clicked here from Minderela's diary. Very interesting.
from fan4 :
Iggy Pop?
from trinity63 :
Oh my gosh!!! I can almost picture myself looking at all the scenery on your back pack trip, this is the neat part about survivor, you start reading journals you'd never know anything about otherwise. I loved your description!
from fan4 :
There really are men with "rock hard bodies"? I hear that, and think of my fave. Fantastic Four member. He truly is made of rock. (I'll explain more later, have more diaries to read.)
from raven72d :
Well-- you can always *tell* everyone that you're as tall as Jenna Elfman. Insist on it, in fact.
from call911 :
Trinity summed it up pretty well! Congrats and good luck - be talking with ya soon! Cheers - Call911
from cosmicrayola :
What Trinity said. Ditto. I think we are going to have a good time with this.
from trinity63 :
Hey congrats for getting picked!!!! I am looking forward to getting to know you and to play with you on Oak Island!!! Dsurvivor 5 I hope is going to be fun!
from floodtide :
I honestly can't remember why I stopped reading your diary, but on a whim I checked in again, and - again - I'm hooked. Thanks for sharing with honesty, integrity, intelligence, and power. Love, flood
from minderella :
now i'm really conflicted about kill bill. i trust your judgment, but i have even less desire to see it now that i read your description. because i always have been totally grossed out by violence in films. i almost passed out in saving private ryan and i get queasy a lot. i never like violence in films. so... well, we'll see. :)
from othelladub :
i agree with you on melville. he's totally underrated. check out my recent fluff entry, which resets my beautiful women power-rankings, and i'll read some of your entries, which are imbued with more substance. me so sad ...
from amarantha21 :
Hi. Thanks for the notes. And yeah, after thinking about it some more, I realized that sending a nasty note or telling the girl what was wrong with her was motivated more out of malice and I couldn't justify it as anything other than pure retaliation and temper. Plus, I would be doing exactly what she was: offering her no quarter for her faults and determining that she deserved to be treated badly because of them. And as for not being pure and nice, I think you are ethical, consistent, genuine, ultimately kind and self-reflective, and that makes for goodness. Besides, religious people tend to be bland, sort of treacly and empty, so be glad you are none of those things! Oh yeah, and you are also right about new ideas being simply the unorthodox synthesis of other ideas--it's just hard to imagine syntehsizing anything interesting. Smiles
from thole :
although i see the difference between honesty and self-depreciation, i will still say this - some of the very best people i can think of are neither pure, nor particularly nice.
from thole :
richard leakey is soft-spoken and modest, like a friendly, favorite grandpa. his wife, though, has yet to win my heart. i often encountered meave while studying in the national museums of kenya, and she was never even polite. maybe i might have caught her at a series of bad times, but it was a shame to be dismissed by someone i so admired professionally. (i've heard that she harbors a general dislike of students, but that is merely gossip.)
from raven72d :
You should've sent the note.
from raven72d :
"taking someone down a peg or two" is a disease endemic to democratic societies... it's the inability to bear seeing others look confident, assured, successful-- i.e., "better" than the average.
from uberfrau :
You know, I've always found that if someone makes some sort of bitch annoucment to me, it's best to call them on their own bad behavior, because then they feel bad for being rude. Unless, it's my bestfriend. In which case, that's a truth I need to hear.
from caudelac :
/well, he's got really severe osteoperosis so he's always in pain and as a result he's always complaining about how much pain he's in or, on the other hand, being really rude./-- GAH. That sort of thing always drives me nuts. Simply because your body is in rebellion does not give you carte blanche to haraunge the healthy types. At best, one can only espect to insigate a round of hypochondriac one-upmanship...
from htmlclinic :
Yes, eeeeverything in Verdana. I don't have/have never used a Mac so I don't know what's wrong and how to help. Sorry.
from htmlclinic :
Hmm, I didn't seem to see the Times New Roman font you talked about. Perhaps you already fixed it? As for the "optional fields" question; I think the official Diaryland answer should be better than my explanation. =) http://members.diaryland.com/edit/faq/optionalfields.phtml
from thole :
i am a suny student myself, but my sweetheart is in a joint program between columbia and the amnh. unless the poets of your acquaintance are also vertebrate paleontologists, i doubt we know the same people...still, the academic world is astonishingly small.
from ilonina :
Yes, but you can remember things on the fly, unlike me. I dig myself into holes and don't even notice me doing it, because I'm drowning in a swamp of bluster. Actually, I have just realised, I would love to hear a presentation of yours. It'll happen, some day, presuming I manage to channel my six-year-old self who actually knew how to learn things off by heart, and don't get chucked out of academia. Be provocative, but have a shitload of facts behind you, is my limp advice. (And what happened your guestbook?)
from cdghost :
still tasty enough to read and eat
from vickiediablo :
Wow, thanks for all the English stuff. Learnt a lot. After all it's not my mother tongue ;) (but of course it isn't an excuse to make mistakes) Will make the corrections right away. Oh, this is Vickie of Lavish Review.
from raven72d :
An absolutely lovely photo, by the way.
from squirrelx :
Thank you for the message! I do understand the 'I MADE THIS!' feelin' and I'm in awe of folks who master the fine arts of home repair and enhancment. If I was you, I'd be tempted to hang a sign in that bathroom so everybody who relieves themselves in it would know they're standin' on my handywork. Warmest regards, Xtine
from jangela :
Hey...thanks for the note. I think you were visiting while I was playing around with the code. I was in the mood to change the layout. I think you can read it now...if you wanted to. Dobre Dien moya drugiyeh (phonetic Russian for "Good Night my friend).
from amarantha21 :
hi there. well, I know exactly how you feel, because my professor basically crushed my ego when I sent him my personal statement,telling me it was immature and calling into question my writing and thinking ability--it makes me want to reconsider my whole career path and go into something where my ego isn't stomped on. I guess the only comfort I find is in something one of my friends in physics told me: he said that at some point, before you can solve the really difficult problems, you have to come to that block where you feel totally humbled, weak, powerless, and at that point, you have to keep working through the feeling of stupidity. He told me that the only way you ever do really great work is to lose all faith in your own abilities, but to surrender yourself to the problem and work on it from pure love of the subject matter. When you lose ego and still find that the interest in the subject matter keeps you going, then you'll do wonderfully. But apart from that, you are definitely not stpuid,and are very impressive in general, and will distinguish yourself in graduate school. Also, while you must feel that everyone else is doing swimmingly, I'm sure they are having the same feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. anyways, Good luck! Smiles Tia. oh yes, and your teacher was definitely out of line using humiliation tactics in what's supposed to be a safe haven for discussion.
from duranfanatic :
Hi there. I'd just like to take a minute to let you know that you have nothing to be embarassed about, regarding what happened with you and your professor. I was a grad student once, and a historian-in-training, too. I had plenty of days like the one you just had, and I know that it's possible to get past these feelings and move on and keep learning. They say that the only stupid question is that which is never asked, so don't give up, and don't feel dumb. Experience, after all, boils down to learning from one's mistakes, and if your prof thinks you can learn without making mistakes, then she's seriously out of touch with reality. Nobody is perfect. I haven't been reading your diary for very long, but from what little I have read, I can see that you're an intelligent, thoughtful, and articulate person. Don't let some small-minded, arrogant professor who can't be convinced of anything that's not already a firmly held belief of her own put you down. Keep it up!
from almostsweet :
I strongly think that one of the virtues of teaching is supporting your students over all. If you're in that position of being a professor (teacher), you made a commitment to help your students come to a better understanding (while adding insight along the way) of a subject. Being unnecessarily rude and closed minded deters from this... I understand wanting to save class time for more lecture/class related discussions, but the whole scene shouldn't have been acted out in such a petty manner. I recently had a similar experience happen in my film class, although it wasn't nearly as malicious. It also helped that it wasn't particularly directed at me. In general, my teacher was in a pissy mood. You might have "off days," but the professional thing to do when you're in a position like a professor (especially since when you are entering the classroom, you are enterting your workplace) is to leave hangups and unrelated baggage outside of the classroom. Overall, I think this was very unprofessional. Don't let her get you down.
from rachelliz :
Guestbook seems not to be working. Gah. Anyway, I disagree that everything said in class should be well thought out...I would like to think that classes are the area to discuss and to expand ideas and if you have half an idea, perhaps the professor and your classmates can expand on it and clarify it and give you some insight on it and add to the understanding of it for everyone. And of course, if the professor decides what you have said should not be discussed that day, for whatever reason, there are ways to end that discussion without insulting you. Unlike you, I found it very hard to speak in class to begin with. So when I did speak up and express my thoughts or ideas, if I was insulted, that was the end of my opening my mouth for the whole semester. Professors shouldn't have that power.
from quietguy :
I just wanted to say I understand your feelings regarding sex. You like to have it more often then you do, but you get stuck in a rut and can't. Look at me? It's been forever. I have no consulation words but to say relax, eventually it'll happen. Hang in there Odalisk!
from candora :
there is something quite amazing about your writing... I am very happy I clicked on your banner and hope to find time for more.
from raven72d :
Romance in the Aran Islands is...scary. The whole Giant Sweaters thing...and as well small, shaggy sheep underfoot must make it all...complicated and dangerous.
from pushpull :
Whoa. I read your comment on the Radiohead experiment article I posted in my diary. I didn't perform this experiment, I simply quoted the article because I thought it was a fascinating example of how children can see something without all of the prejudices that adults have. I listen to Radiohead not because of what anyone else says, but because I love, love, love the music. I liked Radiohead from the first chord of Creep, and I've loved everything since, without anybody telling me to. I listened to Top 40 crap until I was in late junior high. Bad anthropology? I don't see it that way. I see it as a way to see what young, uncluttered minds think of this strange, beautiful music, and how they can apply it in a visual sense.
from amarantha21 :
Hi there... on not eating dairy products...I think it's possible to buy organic milk or milk from producers that don't slaughter their cows. I'm not sure exactly how to get that information, and you'd probably have to go to a specialty store for groceries or mail order your milk. Also, do you know if there is a way to tell from a package if the rennet used in cheese comes from cows intestines or not? Thanks Tia
from mptkicks :
A girl after my own heart. Bravo!
from shiitake :
no left-handed desks? I weep.
from squirrelx :
Thank you for readin' my diary and addin' it to your favorites list. You're certainly not the first person who's been put off by my 'style', but you're one of the very few who's been willin' to come back and take a chance on me anyway. I appreciate that. I really do. When I decided to compose entries which reflect my normal speech patterns and essential nature, it soon became apparent that a whole lot of folks on line are affronted by both. The very same thing is true off line. Warmest regards, Xtine
from meeyapede :
Hey- you made an interesting point, and I responded in my gbk.
from somnambulist :
Hey, I didn't say there was anything inherently wrong with them, just that I'm not into them. On the journal -- waiting for my sister to finish her color stuff (half of which is not even needed -- I didn't know you wanted a WHITE background, as she had a slightly different idea). Meant to ask her today; forgot to. I'm not sure how to do anything with Signmyguestbook, though; I don't use it. I was going to do the book for the Older page and the other picture for the main journal. I will say this: if I don't finish it by the end of this coming weekend (13th), I know I wouldn't be able to finish it this month. Let me get back to you in the next couple days -- sorry that nothing has been happening -- my sister's usually much more reliable about these things, and I am usually much more reliable about noticing someone (i.e., her) not getting back to me. Oh, while I'm here, shall I assume you care more about the more common 800x600 resolution than the easier-to-design-for 1024x768? Most people do... except me; I prefer 1024x768.
from somnambulist :
I need to get after my sister -- she hasn't gotten back to me on colors. Still. I'll try to remember to ask when I see her tomorrow; she is back in school now so it's hard for her to get time to do this stuff. The little insert-fields ... I assume you mean like Wllybere's "feeling..." or Rachel Liz's "What I'm hearing," etc... you have to be a Gold member for those... and I am not one (500 entry freeloader. I know. I suck. I keep meaning to do it and then something comes up and I put it off). Thus -- I don't know the codes to put in to make that thing work. So: to wrap -- waiting for a color scheme; after that, the design is easy, if you still want one similar to mine -- it'd probably only have one side column, though, and navigation like on my Older.html page.
from somnambulist :
Well, there's two sides to that coin. First up, I do resent the way a lot have things have gone. Some of that's justified, some isn't really, but anything that isn't is amplified because of what is. And I do have a sense of frustration, that I've let go of about as much of myself as I can, and it never seems to be good enough for the world. But it's not like I ever stopped trying. I don't really think of nothing but a bleak future, but rather that I can't ever *completely* get to the one that I wanted. That ordinary life is missing something, and that I don't know how so many people run around and live the way they do, or why it seems so expected of me that I do the same. And I don't know how any sane person is supposed to feel good about that (medication is severely out of the question, for two reasons: one, a refusal to feel good about something I don't think I should feel good about; and two, medications frequently have unpredictable effects on me -- and I'm already disinclined to screw around with my own brain chemistry to begin with). Now the up-side of this is that unless you have a deep, serious talk to me (or read my journal), and this is in my opinion and maybe others see it differently, I can usually push it down to the point where nobody else would know it. As an example, I can point to three or four Diarylanders whom I have met this year, all of whom echo the same sentiment -- that I'm actually quite amiable and a lot of fun, and that if I'm glum, I certainly don't project any of it for the world to see. Why you probably get such a heavy dose of it is that one of the big reasons for my journal is to get some of the whiny, depressing stuff out so that it's not with me ALL the time, and usually unless something really big happens, I can carry myself through the day -- it's just the empty apartment at night that hits me every now and then .................. I have the EXACT same problem in conversations in big groups as you do, by the way, wanting to finish my point, and that's probably why I hate being in big groups ............ oh, and I didn't forget about your design; my sister is working on font & color schemes that go with your images at the moment, so I'm waiting to get those.
from absinthesigh :
I enjoyed your entry about your Father. He sounds so much like my Dad 8-). My Dad died in 2000 of cancer and now, those funny little things he did for me, like framing pictures which he did, and trying to buy music he thought I'd like... I treasure like... precious jewels. with love, ophelia
from invisibledon :
thanks for doing my oddsandends survey - probably the best answers yet - the joke was really funny too - the cave painting thing would also be very interesting to see as it happened
from somnambulist :
Oh, I didn't think Matt's is what you'd want, but it was the only sample I had. But I think I could do something with what you're talking about. But perhaps a little different, after all, we can't have it being *exactly* like mine, now can we? :)
from somnambulist :
hey. I can give it a go - I must warn you, the only design I have done, on my own, is Duranfanatic's (which, while not super-cool or anything, is what he asked for -- mostly I was tired of looking at his Diaryland template). My sister's going to consult on colors, but little else... she's busy. As am I, but I have some time I can spare up through Labor Day. So: shoot me an email, explaining what you'd like, and also, if you are a "gold" member... the codes for any gold member stuff you use on your page (You know, those double-percent sign %% thingys). -S.
from idiomatic :
what is upper middle class?
from othelladub :
i'm sick. i need hot tea.
from raven72d :
Mernissi... Your thought on odalisques reminds me of a line from Seinfeld: George laments that he hates having to talk to women, which he doesn't do well, and that he'd love to find a beautiful mute... He doesn't *quite* succeed, though he finds a girl from Cameroon who speaks no English, but who does rub oil on his bald head while they're in bed... I of course don't want mute and passive, I want verbal and articulate and witty and passionate...but with no wish (as distinguished from no right) ever to say no...
from raven72d :
Community always stifles me... And always bear in mind: they're Foreigners, you're not. They speak languages taught in the Dept. of Foreign Languages at universities. You are a North American non-Canuckian English-speaking member of the educated white middle classes. They are Foreigners, if not indeed Natives. Remembering that helps one keep a suitable sense of amusement at how silly Foreigners and their attempts to have Authority really are. Not to mention their silly hats.
from raven72d :
Barthes is always fun, though his own visits to North Africa were always a wee bit too...Frederick Rolfe...for my tastes.
from raven72d :
Climbing sand dunes... I think you have to do it at an angle to the summit... Wittgenstein on the edge of the desert-- beautiful!
from raven72d :
You do have my sympathies on the 3-way manque story...
from raven72d :
Infatuations are fun...
from raven72d :
Melville... Read "The Confidence-Man", not "Moby-Dick"...
from raven72d :
I have a thought that Bauhaus architecture owes something to Maghreb buildings... The local style of architecture you see in Morocco has its affinities to the later Bauhaus... Though I may just be half-recalling Chris Alexander's "Timeless Way of Building"... Arabic? I envy you-- and admire you. I remember that Friedrich Engels, a compulsive linguist, gave up on Arabic as too hideously difficult... Have you been to Mogador?
from raven72d :
There's nothing wrong with wanting to utterly devour a new country any more than there's something wrong withw anting utterly to devour and master a new book, a new author... Actually, no one says "the Company" anymore for CIA. One says "the Agency". And one never puts "the" in front of CIA.
from raven72d :
Douglas Porch, "The Conquest of Morocco"... Gavin Maxwell, "Lords of the Atlas"... Paul Bowles, "Let It Come Down"... All worth reading. "Wittgenstein's Poker" was wonderful! I've never liked Karl Popper. I'm much more a fan of Wittgenstein and Paul Feyerabend. Can I entice you into a postcard from Fez? I envy you the internet cafes, by the way.
from raven72d :
I love steeplechase... And I love the original meaning of "amateur"... Like the original sense of "dilettante": someone who takes delight in something, who does something for the sheer love of it. By the way-- have you ever seen the film "Kicking and Screaming"? Always worthwhile if you're on the edge of leaving the university world.
from raven72d :
Don't let Gallic critical theory or Cartesian logic blind you to the simple facts: some things, including films like Matrix 2, are just *fun*. No more need be said. Intellectual justifications are best left to those who've never come out of a film like Star Wars, climbed into a compact car and just blazed out of the parking lot because they were flying an Imperial fighter to crush the insolent Rebels... (Well, okay-- my Star Wars politics aren't like everyone else's, but you get the point) Pure limbic system *fun*.
from floodtide :
Bravo for responding as you did to James, and then writing about it all - and yourself - so eloquently. And welcome back to the states, albeit briefly. Fun to think of you in the Detroit airport, only a couple hours from here. Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
Dear God, I haven't read Robbe-Grillet in a thousand years!
from sendinclowns :
I thought over what you said. I don't think Dolumbia sounds like the university of dummies, but I do think it sounds like dolor or doldrums, neither of which should be encouraged. Dornell, however, just sounds silly. Possibly we should just indulge in postmodernist spelling and call ourselves Kornell, thus appealing to music fans. I'm personally rooting for Zornell. I would be pleased to say I went to ZU.
from raven72d :
"The Stones of Venice" is such a wonderful book...about the most stunning city of all the dreamlands...
from sendinclowns :
Ah, thanks anyway. Too many places start with a C, I've decided. Would you consider renaming your alma mater "Dolumbia"?
from sendinclowns :
Feel a little odd leaving you this note, but here goes. Hi, I'm a floodtide reader and I saw a note you left him that said you were "back at good old CU". . . do you mean Cornell University? Cause if you do, then I go there too.
from patadrina :
Hmm. It seems the only other kinds of pants available in texas are khakis. I'll have to wear skirts. Go fig. I had my suspicions about the blue jeans. It's interesting that they hate you for being "riches" or American- but then you have to have enough money to buy what's in vogue. I supposed it doesn't matter because as soon as I open my mouth they'll probably deport me anyway. Thanks so much!
from patadrina :
Thanks for the cafe smoking places- I'm sure I could be sitting a top of the arc de triumph and be just as happy smoking. at this point, i think there's so much to do- like you said. I'd have to live there to appreciate it- I hear there's skating, of all things, in the street at night. Anyhoot. I've heard both ways- that people are rude and are not rude- I guess I just have to see for myself. I'm not originally from the states- so its not like I'm used to the texan friendly- I just want to know- can I wear blue jeans and tennis shoes without getting spit on?
from patadrina :
Even though I am a "grown" woman, I still haven't been able to afford a trip on my own. So I'm hitchin' a free ride with my parents. We'll be doing a lot of touristy stuff...l I really just want to hang out at cafes and smoke.
from patadrina :
I'm fixing to go to Paris for a week starting Friday. Do you think there's anything I should know?
from raven72d :
Jacques Monod, "Chance and Necessity"... a great book on evolution... And Gavin Maxwell, "Lords of the Atlas"... a great book if you're going to Fez...
from angryquail :
I always love your writing, but I especially liked what you wrote about the sweater knitted by a deathbed.
from raven72d :
I liked "On The Road"-- after all, it was the only book I'd ever found that mentioned Port Allen, Louisiana...
from angryquail :
I found your diary today. Just lovely. And I'm feeling sunshiny enough (60 degrees here in New York today) to give a cheery hello!
from raven72d :
A book for you-- Shusaku Endo, 'Silence'... And there's a gret film of it, too...
from adorno03 :
Congratulations but well, duh. Of course you got accepted. I don't know why you ever doubted yourself. And hey, good news for both of us cuz I was just accepted into the Devry Institute.
from zeroreverb7 :
re: your note to Floodtide. I completely relate to what you are saying and because Im the worst person on earth with finding words I can only say I completely agree...I wish you the very best...Peace
from the-imposter :
Attended the Lysistrata here as well. Wasn't very well put on, but the intent was good enough. My mother asked me to move my brood back in with them yesterday. Some shit about it being for my Dad's benefit, that he needed help with the lawn or something. I think she suffers from Empty Nest Syndrom of something but isn't it nice to know that safety net is there when you need it. Hurrah for second (and third and fourth!) chances.
from windofmysoul :
I really enjoyed the reading of "Lysistrata" last night. Since it was just a reading, there were no costumes, props or scenery, but the show was still hilarious. I'd heard of it before, and had read a little bit about it, but had never seen or heard it before last night. The translation I saw was very modern, but that made it all the more comical, I think.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... I saw "Catch Me If You Can" as saying that the clever can be whatever they choose to be, and that once your identity is purely an arbitrary choice, you can Have Fun and Cool Toys...
from floodtide :
CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so happy for you I won't even tell you how insanely fucking JEALOUS I am. Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
You must look for John Collier's screenplay version of Paradide Lost-- "Milton's Paradise Lost: A Screenplay for the Cinema of the Mind" (1974)... It's wonderful!
from raven72d :
De Certeau... Tell me about de Certeau. The South Park Movie confirmed my own belief that we must bomb Canuckia *now*, before the Evil Esquimaux are ready to reveal themselves as extraterrestrial predators come to devour us. [And be vur' terrified of the Manx and the loathsome Andaman Islanders]
from raven72d :
I want friends named Lara and Ariana. And Flavia and Sabrine. The names are just perfect.
from raven72d :
"The violence of looking..." That phrase scares me, as does the whole feminist idea of the evil Gaze... I live through my eyes-- reading, watching, observing. The world enters through my eyes. I can't accept that the Gaze is evil...
from adorno03 :
I liked the comment you left quite a bit and basically agree with you. I'm conflicted about the whole mixture of high and low art but I haven't sorted my thoughts out my thoughts on it enough to write anything coherent so I'll just refrain. One thing I would add is: regardless of an individual's thoughtfulness, some works of art are a priori better than others. Say, Proust vs. Sidney Sheldon or Bach vs. Justin Timberlake. I have not yet been convinced of the virtues of aesthetic relativism. Do you really find it hard to believe that I worked at Kim's or were you just being sarcastic? If so, why? The only two things I have even rudimentary knowledge of are movies and pop music so it makes perfect sense to me. If you're interested, here is the response your comment got: I never said that at all. You're taking this way too seriously, Erin. And apparently you didn't read his post on Adaptation . So "ug" to you for jumping in.
from raven72d :
I gave up Gitanes (Gitane Filtres) and cigars a while back... But they were a key part of my persona once upon a time... And they're still there in the daydreams.
from ghanima :
to respond to a note in caudelac's: Boethiu swrote "The consolation of Philosophy" in prison and is many many people's favorite (Chaucer's too) because he makes naughty comments to the personification of Philosophy. But not really a poet. Just to share, cause I have useless education to squander.
from raven72d :
When the French unleash their diatribes about the sins of all Americans and about their own Gallic moral superiority, do as I do: reply to then in French with a crisp German accent and remind them of Vichy... And of course remember at all times that, in the end, they *are* Foreigners and must go through life saddled with that inescapable fact.
from adorno03 :
As you probably suspected, I'm all about morose music. I am such a cliche. I've heard other people say almost the same thing about P. Brooks. In fact I think about Hamlet. I think it was playing at BAM last spring or something. Personally, I hate theatre. It makes sense that you'd love Balthus since you love Rilke. (I love them both too. My most cherished possession is a copy of Mitsou my mother gave me when I was 19 inscribed: "This little book mixes sadness and joy, You know both and that is an honest life." As always, I digress.) Yeah, I really loved reading the memoir. The criticisms of it have been that he isn't forthcoming about his life or honest about his work. I don't know and I don't care. I'm just so non-objective, so happy to be reading his thoughts rather than a critic's. I'm interested in what he does have to say, not what he leaves out or what either reveals about him. Me being passive again. So whether it's good or not; I really don't know. Honestly, my critical faculties were rendered useless.
from diaryreviews :
Your DiaryReview is up! :) You have an amazing diary, thanks so much for giving me the chance to review it. -Lissy.
from raven72d :
Nietzsche's breakdown happened while he was in a violent quarrel with a man who was beating a small cart pony. He was trying to save a small abused pony.
from raven72d :
The terrible thing about reading Van Gogh's letters is that I keep hearing Leonard Nimoy's voice-- he did the voice-overs in a production of a bio of Vincent and Theo. Which means that I keep imagining Vincent and Theo with pointed ears.
from adorno03 :
I have such a different way of reading autobiography than you. Mine is a bad way, really. For example, right now I'm reading the memoirs of Balthus and I don't consider the language or even, for that matter, judge his opinions. I just sort of take it all in. Very passive, I know, though autobiography is the only medium where I take this approach. What was the Nick Cave album you hated so much? (I think I might know but don't want to blurt anything out.) I don't try to convert anybody to Nick Cave fandom anymore (I understand--if not agree with--the reasons people don't like him.) I will say this though, I think you'd at least like his choice in covers. Other than Tower of Song, there is also Avalanche by Cohen, Je t'aime... Moi non plus (sung in English), Goodbye Marilou (in French), Plain Gold Ring by Nina Simone and so many others.
from samsonag :
Dickens and Eliot aren't dull as you actually read them; I've noticed the tendency to remember them that way is pretty widespread. I think most of it is the enormity and complexity of their (very different) visions. They wrote towns and years. They were able to step remarkably far away from the I, but of course always came back, and convincingly. As you read them it's amazing and flattering and enlarging, as they pry your mind as open as theirs. But a week after you wonder how you could have enjoyed something that wasn't about how naughty you are and a week after that are convinced you didn't. Proust loved both and would have wanted me to remind you.
from adorno03 :
The film was Mystery Train. Oh and Steve Buscemi lives right up the street from me. (This may help to explain why people think I'm from money-I live in Park Slope by myself near a semi-famous actor. Appearance-I dunno. Sometimes I'm sorta well groomed, sometimes I wear don't shave and wear ratty clothes about. And I'm not as good about not throwing away food as I was brought up to be but I'm still better about it than anyone I've met.) I like "Don't Go Home with Your Hard On" quite a bit. After all, it's disco-y and a dick joke. A lot of Cohen fans hate that whole album ( because of the Phil Spector production, I guess) but I really enjoy it. But then I'm a fan of every single thing he does. A slight,and sure to be annoying, clarification: Ginsberg doesn't really anything to do with the song other than he visited the studio and was invited to sing back up on some songs.
from raven72d :
I've always felt better about Nietzsche knowing that he had his mental collapse while trying to save an abused small pony. Sacrifices in the name of small ponies are always appreciated. [Small Mongolian Ponies-- the Przewalski Horse --are always the vur' best small archaic ponies.]
from raven72d :
Was that Marilyn Hacker who read? If so...she was long ago the wife of Samuel R. Delany, who went from being a fairly innovative sci-fi writer to marketing himself as the first Gay Black Socially-Aware Sci-Fi Erotica Author...
from raven72d :
Where do I live? Near New Orleans...
from ilonina :
Re: Nietzsche: yes, there does seem to be a prevalent myth that his was a wild, beautiful madness. But what you saw in the photo appears to have been close to what his warders saw, also; somewhere I read that on the day that Hitler was born his notes for the day read: 'N. is obsessed with faeces. Smears faeces everywhere. Eats faeces.' Apparently, some nutter has written a book trying to link these two occurrences, but that's rather too much. Still, N. said that pity would destroy him, and in a way maybe our pity for him destroys his reputation...
from floodtide :
Hi. Finally had a chance to read your reactions to Warner. I either have to say very little or a huge amount, and this isn't a good venue for huge. I'll have to get the Warner book and then write again. Based on your distillation of him, though, I think he is pretty much full of shit right down to each of his pinkie toes. I LIVED on 8th Avenue, a few blocks up from all the porn shops that have been getting phased out/chased away for ten years now, and I think that while the phasing/chasing/zoning efforts are heinous and hypocritical, they're pretty non-orientation-specific. Most of those shops cater to heterosexual clientele. (You'd be surprised how much of a hunt it was, sometimes, to find gay porn, even on 42nd Street; I know, because I was looking.) I also think Warner's full of shit if he thinks there is some sort of healthy necessity for public homosex, if he thinks it's somehow essential to "gay culture." (Fran L: "No, there's no such thing as gay culture, and, yes, it's had a tremendous effect on society.") I think people should be able to have as much sex as they want, even though I don't think that anonymous promiscuity is, to say the very least, physically or emotionally healthy. But I am usually suspicious when they insist that ALL of us should do the same, that society would be healthier if we embraced free love. A complete lack of discernment or self-control or even conscious choice is not the same thing as social courage. Warner seems to need me to fuck a lot in order to justify his own amorality, which is offensive to me for this very simple reason: He doesn't want Guilliani or anyone else dictating to him, so who the hell is Warner to dictate to me? And I have far more respect for immorality than amorality. (The Marquise in "Les Liaisons Dangereuses": "No. 'Cruelty.' That has a much nobler ring to it.") Oy, I'm getting going on a rant. Sorry. I'll find the book; perhaps I'm assuming too much or putting words into Warner's mouth. Thanks for writing to me; I always love hearing from you; you always challenge and expand my thinking. Good luck with all the grad school apps. I sympathise, I really do: I had to fill them all out and then subject myself to the terrors of auditioning in person. Love, Flood.
from ilonina :
Oops, I went and signed your guestbook before I saw you'd written a note for me! Thanks so much for stopping by and also for being amused. I study German literature and philosophy - it takes itself a bit seriously but is fantastic fun to write about. So far of my bargain books I've only started the Patrick McGrath, which is disappointingly un-Gothic and is really very reminiscent of Ian McEwan's Atonement - a somewhat tedious narrative of guilt and implausible transgressions among wealthy bored ladies in a large English house in the middle of the twentieth century. But maybe there'll be a couple of entertaining eviscerations along soon... What are you planning to do in grad school, and where are you wanting to go?
from floodtide :
Believe me: it's because I know the feeling so well - the unwillingness to try for fear of being rejected - that I recognized it in Andy's face. And believe, too, that I know how much of Cole's bravado masks his fear. I remember my own obnoxious pronouncements at that age - and much, much more recently - and I can forgive them. But that doesn't mean I weep any the less for the what our culture has taught us to think "success" means. And it doesn't mean it's any less offending to be told so emphatically that when my partner and I got married we were "just trying to be straight." Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
I loved Barthes' "Empire of Signs"... creating his own Japan and analyzing it... And having Japanese critics write that his Japan was nothing like the real one-- it was far, far better...
from raven72d :
I'd like to live inside "Blade Runner", really... a place where it's always downtown midnight in late autumn, a place where I never have to deal with sub-tropical heat/humidity or drive in snow or heavy rain... All things considered, I'd like never to leave my apartment, but (alas!) Asian restaurants, pubs, and bookstores are all External. I do make a point of refusing to read local news or watch local TV wherever I am-- after all, I'll be going Home as soon as the government changes. I'm only Here (wherever that might be at the time) hiding from the Secret Police/Grown-Ups.
from raven72d :
The French make awful expats, yes-- but they're awful at home, too. I just feel that allowing girls to choose male mates on the basis of looks is...well, inconvenient. After all, I only appear around attractive girls in the flesh if I can be inside a Vorlon Encounter Suit (see "Babylon 5"). I favor having all young/other males kept on a strict regime of Thorazine and testosterone blockers (as well as held in labor camps in South Dakota until the age of 25).
from raven72d :
I'm sure there are reasons grounded in evolutionary biology for why attractive girls end up with males who are less physically attractive, but as a male who lives off his sporadic wit rather than anything like looks, I simply think of it as a "just-so" tale. After all-- any male who's physically attractive/buff/well-groomed is obviously and unquestionably either (1) a cabana-boy gigolo for aged socialites or (2) a gay rent-boy.
from raven72d :
Exile suits me. I've never felt that I belonged in any of the places where I grew up, and I used to play "Exile"-- imagining that I was actually from a Distant Land, and only here until the government fell back home and I could return.... Americans and Russians make the worst expatriates-- neither can ever give up longing for the ambience of "home". Now, wherever I've been, I keep myself from fretting overmuch about inconvenient local customs or situations by reminding myself that (1) they are, after all, Foreigners and can't be expected to know better and (2) that it's all just a movie anyway.
from ediblmercury :
I really like your diary and your layout. Well, I really only read one entry but I'm comeing back later to read more cause I have to go do something.
from raven72d :
I avoided class guilt by simply assuming that the universe holds a limited number of Good Things, and that I should use any advantages I have.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... I've never felt the least twinge of class, race, national, or gender guilt. Or personal guilt (as opposed to *shame*), really...
from raven72d :
I have a very spidery handwriting, and I need a fine nib. The only problem of course with F or XF nibs is that-- because they *are* so fine-pointed --they're prone to breaking.
from raven72d :
Things were a mixed bag in '02... But I'll try to make '03 better. Namiki pens are cool... A Mont Blanc Diplomat (or a Meisterstuck)is the Grail of pens...
from raven72d :
Things I did in 2002: passed the Bar Exam, was called to the Bar; taught history again; had a couple of academic reviews appear; had a short story appear in a published anthology; read lots of books on Central Asia, Persia, and Hokkaido; bought several Teach Yourself Japanese books. Things I did *not* do in 2002: find a career; move far, far away from the heat and humidity in this appalling place; find any serious source of income; have sex; go out on a date; overcome my new-found fear of both flying and driving in urban traffic; deal with needing reading glasses; own a computer; buy or own a suit.
from raven72d :
I have a few Rotring pens (fine nib) for letters, along with a couple of Watermans. I bought half a dozen inexpensive Shaeffer pens on sale. I'd love even an inexpensive Mont Blanc, but...*sigh*...no money. My favorite ink is the now-discontinued Shaeffer Burgundy/Granate. I'm making do by adding a bit of purple to Mont Blanc Bordeaux.
from floodtide :
Hrm, just had a thought. This is, of course, stating the obvious, but it really hadn't occurred to me before (which is, of course, kind of embarrasing, because I feel a bit intimidated sometimes, because I think you are a whole lot smarter than I am, and I don't say that to many people). Maybe that was the POINT: that the brave new world WASN'T better than the one they had. But I also think that the end was meant to echo the line from Paradise Lost" where they were "hand in hand" but "solitary" nevertheless; I don't remember it exactly but it's something like "hand in hand through Eden took their solitary way." More soon. Flood.
from floodtide :
I didn't know you were a fountain-pen lover, too. Hoo, boy, we have a strange mix of things in common. I had such an opposite experience to the third "Dark Materials" book, though. The end tore my heart out, even as I, too, was disappointed by the abrupt return to mundanity. At several points earlier in the book, I'd though, "okay, he's gone off the deep end, what the hell is going on?" Thanks for your great note, birthday wishes, etc. Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
I'm quite the fanatic about fountain pens myself...
from raven72d :
I'll have to ponder your description of the Rijksmuseum...
from raven72d :
It's funny-- when I went to Yale I had no concern whatsoever that I wasn't as bright as everyone else in grad school. But later, back down south, finishing my PhD and teaching, I couldn't think that I'd have anything worth saying...
from floodtide :
Hey - glad you're back from such a fabulous trip. Sorry I've not written you back in ages; I do so want to discuss children's lit! (I loved the first two "His Dark Materials" books, thought the third not nearly so coherent, but the end got me anyway.) For now, though: Happy birthday, sincerely. 22 ain't bad, trust me, and since I'm turning 41 myself on Saturday you get little sympathy from me. Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
I didn't know you did watercolours... And how was the Rijksmuseum?
from raven72d :
I so envy the journal with the antique erotica cover!
from raven72d :
A commonplace book is a great idea... And I liked Dick Francis as a teen-- learning about horseracing and wine merchants... just as reading the Hornblower books taught me about how to work an 18th-c. sailing ship...
from raven72d :
I always love finding out what people read as they were growing up...
from raven72d :
I always tell people that a YA copy of the Odyssey that I found in my 4th grade classroom got me started on History... And that a c.1900 book of Norse myths that I found at the little local library is one of the things that made me unreceptive to American suburban religion... What books besides Eddings intrigued you as a girl...?
from raven72d :
Lord of the Rings was a set of books that I loved at twelve... It had...*maps*...and a backstory...a *history*... I was always programmed to be an historian. Hard-wired in the brain. Anything with maps and a backstory and languages attracted me. Of course-- I moved on from Middle-Earth to Central Asia and Eastern Europe vur' quickly, but I've kept fond memories of the books... Odd-- "Pacte des Loups" intrigued me beacuse the hero had a watercolour sketch journal...and 18th-c. naturalists always do intrigue me-- Linnaeus, Buffon, etc.
from raven72d :
I hate applications. I've done so many-- grad school, law school, jobs... I hate trying to make myself sound desirable, trying to highlight and sell myself... Applications are like a First Date re-worked by Kafka and Orwell...
from raven72d :
"Loquela"... Barthes always did articulate wonderful concepts... His "Empire of Signs" is a favorite of mine... I can never escape obsessively interrogating my memories (the deformation professionelle of a trained historian)and trying to rank-order them, see if they were *really* about Good Things... I can never feel safe about the Past, never feel sure that the loves I had were ever as good as I once imagined. I live in fear of losing my Past.
from raven72d :
"Pale Fire" is a favorite of mine... And for some odd reason I was part of an on-line "Pale Fire" disussion group for a while once upon a time... Go figure.
from raven72d :
Perhaps I'll get you to mail me a card from Paris... No one writes from overseas...let alone from Volpukia!
from machogirl7 :
Hi there~ thanks for stopping by and filling out my survey. I truly enjoyed your answers. You seem like an open person, and I really like that. I'll try to read your diary more often!
from raven72d :
If you would-- e-mail me ([email protected]) about Machaut... And look for the poetry (en francais) of Renee Vivien... You might enjoy her.
from raven72d :
Do read the new translation of Marcus Aurelius from Modern Library. His notes and thoughts are bracing reminders of how to get through life. Remember, the emperor says-- the best revenge is *not to be like that*...
from raven72d :
Children's books... I have arcane tastes, but Peter Sis (sp. "Tibet Through the Red Box" and "The Starry Messenger") is brilliant... I like Clay Carmichael's Bear books ("Bear at the Beach", "Used-Up Bear"), Russell Hoban's "The Mouse and His Boy", and Tim Wynne's "Zoom Trilogy"... And there's a lovely book called "I Rode A Horse Of Milk-White Jade" about a small Mongol girl and her magical Small Mongolian Pony...
from floodtide :
Hmm - I'm ALSO reading the new Marcus Aurelius translation, in between chapters of <Bee Season> (so close to my own childhood it's uncomfortable, I'm squirming, but I keep reading; this is my second go), and I make my first stab at <A le recherche> in tandem with Seastreet in January. Anyway, thanks as always for your notes; I love them. I rather liked <Girl with a Pearl Earring> as a novel in and of itself; after it gets going it is at least a wonderful character study of the narrator. But: I know what you mean about not wanting to have Vermeer imagined FOR you. One of the things I like least about American culture is that everything - everything - is imagined for us. This is why, in spite of my eager absorption of Harry Potter books (I love chldren's literature in general) I won't go see the movies. Ah, I'm not being entirely honest. It's ALL of capitalism I despise...
from raven72d :
I'm reading the new translation of Marcus Aurelius... As philosophy, it does give me encouragement to bear up under Life... I'm always found his brand of Stoicism attractive... And suddenly I'm thinking of Wm. Barrett's "Irrational Man", a little intro to Existentialism, a book a teacher gave me when I was a junior in high school... It occurs to me that it's mean a lot to me over the years...
from raven72d :
The 10 Dec. 02 entry was incredible... The images will stay with me for a long, long time.
from floodtide :
Right - I haven't been to the Louvre since long before Monsieur Pei's glass pyramid was added. How is it? And did Alice Waters' restaurant ever become a reality? Okay, here's my REAL question: Have you read Chevalier's <Girl With a Pearl Earring>?
from floodtide :
Right - I haven't been to the Louvre since long before Monsieur Pei's glass pyramid was added. How is it? And did Alice Waters' restaurant ever become a reality? Okay, here's my REAL question: Have you read Chevalier's <Girl With a Pearl Earring>?
from raven72d :
Ahhh... The "Recite!" reference is to what the Angel Gabriel told Muhammad when he began to deliver the Qur'an-- "In the name of God who created Man from a clot of earth-- recite!" I simply transposed in Jorge Luis Borges and Eco and the labyrinths of books... On medieval Persia-- see David Morgan, "Medieval Persia"; Marshall G. Hodgson, "The Venture of Islam" (3 vols.); Gertrude Bell's translations of the poems of Hafez; A.J. Arberry on the Sufis and on the city of Shiraz; Hodgson's "The Order of the Assassins". Those are all excellent...
from floodtide :
P.S.: I hope you won't think I'm being a starfucker, but I have to ask: Those are PRINTS, right? Or do you actually have a Vermeer and an Ingres in your apartment? If so, I'm a bit in awe...
from floodtide :
I have known a few - a very few - actors of the sort you described, but please don't assume that's how most actors are. I find that in theatre I am able to know myself fully, that in theatre I am able most fully to satisfy my desires to know myself and to find truth and connection. I explore roles to explore me, not to escape me. And most of the actors I know approach it this way as well. Actors who "escape" into roles often scare the rest of us and are sometimes - usually, even - not very pleasant people to be around. By the way, I have very little respect for anonymous criticism. But I love honesty like yours, so thanks.
from raven72d :
I do find myself hearing "In the name of Borges who created the world from a labyrinth of books-- recite!" A prophetic mission I feel compelled to accept. While I await the Archangel Gabriel, though... I'll read Henry Miller's "Time of the Assassins", his bio of Rimbaud... Something I've put off since age seventeen. And keep reading about medieval Persia.
from raven72d :
Croatia can be a delight in the Spring. But make sure to do Slovenia as well... See the countryside around Ljubljana and Maribor!
from raven72d :
You make me remember how I felt the first time I read Musil... I can recall the little paperback edition of the first volume-- green and white (but why not Habsburg black-and-gold or Austrian red-and-white?) --and the sky over the courtyard garden of the apartment where I was living... Good memories.
from floodtide :
Thank you for your lovely note. I, too, am much more likely to meet up in sleeping or waking dreams with my younger self. In fact, that's why seeing me as elderly was so stunning. In fact, some of my most powerful experiences of 'self' - in any way - have been when I've been challenged to communicate with my younger self, as in an "Artist's Way" exercise and once while at Shakespeare & Company. I have written often in my journal of being suprised so often to find my younger self still living in me. I am very gently accepting and nurturing of this younger self (no one else ever seemed to be), and yet, simultaneously, I am embarrassed by him, even ashamed for him. He was such a mess. But I am able to love him, perhaps because he was such a mess, rather than in spite of the fact. (I spoke tonight with seastreet on the phone; he called from Estonia: he is jealous that I remember my dreams at all, says he never remembers his.) I continue to be moved and fascinated by your elegance with the language. I'd love to know more about you - your age, for example, and why you're even in Paris. Will I find this in earlier entries? More soon. Love, Flood.
from raven72d :
I *loathed* "Mists of Avalon". The only Arthur novel worth reading is Sutcliffe's "Sword at Sunset". She at least read some serious history (see Geoffrey Ashe's "Caesar to Camelot") and tried as well to stay true to the pitilessness of the earliest Arthur legends.
from invisibledon :
Thanks for playing in the neighborhood
from adorno03 :
I liked My Name is Red. I also like Culture & Imperialism though. Guess I'm just muddled. I'd really like to read the second volume of Man w/o Q. When I read vol 1 I didn't think about what a commitment it would be but after reading it I'm a little gunshy to start vol 2. Have two more friends only entries. One about the doc on Derrida. Did you leave the anon comment? I think it was you because you're the only one who does. If not, this will make no sense: froggy went a-courtin' adorno03 2002-11-27 10:14 (link) I had no idea that romanticism was out. I thought it was like, say, stoicism. Ya know, something that ain't exactly a hip n' happening trend but also not something that was deemed passe or like, sooo over. I agree that Baudrillard bites it but remember I was 16 when I read Simulations and it was the first post-whatever froggy philosophy I read. At least he turned me on to Foucault (because of the book, Forget Foucault) who I still like quite a bit. Or parts. Discipline & Punish is an excellent book.
from lost-puppys :
anger, rage, desperation and, confusion...dont people suck i mean you find one who you love and they claim to love you and of course it turns out that theyre lying, cause thats what people do its like a game the more they can hurt you the more they enjoy it, and we seem to keep coming back for more. the whole time torn between what we want to be real, and what is real untill thier game is done and they leave us damaged. I wonder how many times it can happen before it leaves us broken as well, but perhaps thiers some one out there whos different and actually knows what love is. what do you think?
from raven72d :
Read "My Name is Red". Excellent book. Everything Said had to say that was of value could be summed up in a single paragraph, stripped of the politics and special pleading. I blame Said for making "exotic" a dirty word. And read Robert Kapland and Samuel Huntington as a needed corrective (or emetic) after reading Chomsky. I like Sapir-Whorf linguistics better, anyway.
from raven72d :
And Umberto Eco... I delve into "Name of the Rose" once a year...and imagine myself as Borges, as Jorge of Burgos... I also adore "Foucault's Pendulum"...
from raven72d :
Musil! You read Musil! How lovely... I'm a sometime Habsburg historian, and Musil's "Mann Ohne Eigenschaften" is a key work for me... I admire your intellect and interests-- and I dream of the ex-pat writer's life myself. I'd love to discuss Rilke and life in Europe and Chomsky with you (I despise him, but for very different and perhaps opposite reasons than you do...) Come by my own journal some time. The Archives button doesn't work; you'll have to work backward with the Previous key.
from floodtide :
Anyone who reads Rilke and Aquinas, who argues with such intelligence and passion, and who has a link to recipes on her (?) diary belongs on my favorites list. I was drawn in by your banner and hooked by your rhetoric (I have a similar though less well-argued rant, among my own musings, at http://floodtide.diaryland.com/Grrrrrr.html). I will be back for more, and will find some time soon to catch up on older entries. Thanks for being one of those who bring such elegance to D-land.
from adorno03 :
Re: James, meat and Jesus. Ask yourself, what would Moby do and use that as your moral compass. I'm not defending Jim for anything other than stinking of failure and that only because it hits close to home. Aveda products may mask the stench a litttle but believe me it's there. I just can't believe you never heard even one Johnny Cash song. I've written a few more friends only entries if you're interested. Just let me know where I left off and I'll send you the new ones.
from adorno03 :
No matter how much I bathe I still can't the stench of bitter defeat off of me. So go easy on James. And yes, I was gored by a deer when I was five. That is 100% true although I suspect people think I'm making that up or joking when I tell them. Short version of the story-I was in a deer park in Nara, Japan and one of the deer attacked me and stuck his antler all the way through my left cheek.
from jamipoet :
If there weren't diaries like yours for me to read, then my brain could quite possibly rot.
from idiomatic :
aren't you supposed to be in paris, teaching? wha' happened?
from adorno03 :
Some of my journal entries are "friends only" but if you ever have the desire to read them let me know and I'll forward them to you. If you have no interest, I won't be offended. It would only be of the most maginal interest if you think you'd like to read more about the slightly more personal (ie-drug use and sex) aspects of my life. Personally, I don't think you're missing much.
from adorno03 :
It's good to know you were back in NYC even if only for a visit.
from morganlefae :
nitpicking here : in french we don't say "je m'en fou" we say "je m'en fous", difference being that "fou" is a person and "fous" a verb (as in "va te faire foutre!")
from adorno03 :
Thank you for your kind comments regarding my, ahem. journal. I still always read yours, usually once a week, catching up on your life. I can't really bring myself to comment though because I'm afraid it would become a pathological habit and the comments would probably just be long winded versions of, "right on sister." Or, uh, something. This may sound, well, crazy, but even though I don't know you, never have met you, I'm saddened by your leaving of our shared city. There was something somehow comforting about knowing we inhabited the same space.
from groinvault :
yeah... I think a lot of women find a lot of porn "icky" and it's not as fun for us to look at it. For one thing, there's the part where we compare ourselves to the women. Then, there are a lot of instances that make us go "Uh, ouch. That can't be comfortable." Finally, there really is a fair amount of stuff that just plain feels misogynistic to us. Even if most of that is kinda subtle, it feels scary if you look at a whole lot of it.
from bluecinema :
i was just having a conversation along the same lines about my feelings towards porn. i need more build up, the situation makes it hotter. i also like gay porn because the power dynamic doesn't make me feel uncomfortable and the men are better lookjng. but, the female gaze is different than the male gaze. it's a stereotype and a cliche but i do think it's more tender.
from adorno03 :
If you happen to care, I have a new diary at livejournal under the same name.
from thecity :
Love for your diary.
from bluecinema :
wow, your site is very refreshing! i like the well thought out response to auster, i too feel the frustration with the literary hangup with prostitutes. i love henry miller but part of me will always chafe at this. and i can relate to the saturday train mayhem....and i really enjoyed the bit about the bum in the rain. i will read you with interest!
from castigada :
Muchas gracias for filling out my survey with such wit and candor! I hope you enjoyed your chicken parmigiana.
from inarticulate :
Funny, I almost lived in Cancale years ago. But the rent was too high for the place we looked at, which was a riot of red-and-white everything, and the only place left to rent that cold summer. Since we weren't going to be making much money sacking potatoes, my friend suggested that we try tent-camping near the beach. And that's when I decided maybe it was time to come home. I know everything you say is true and still I want to go. Doesn't it *ever* warm up?
from bathsheba :
god, i'm really sorry. this may sound trite and unconvincing, but i think down the line you'll be glad you didn't waste MORE time with such people. whatever their reasons (and i doubt very much they reflect on you at all), this was not a good way to go about things. i know you'll find something else. i hate being in those confused, oblique places, though. the good thing is that the fog always clears.
from antiprofound :
Hi...I just wanted to thank you for answering my desperate plea for help regarding the plot of Mulholland Drive. Lol...your explanation made a lot of sense and predictably made me feel like a moron for not having thought of it myself. Hm...hate to say it because it sounds so damn trite...but I like your diary. Lol...thanks for helping me out anyway.
from handcuffed :
girl in my opinion...dont relocate with someone who's "half dreamy half asshole" its the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass syndrome. Don't settle for the one you can live with, search for the one you can't live without. Even though Shane and I are....well....you know, he is the one I can't live without.
from real-lu-lu :
Yes: the N/R at Times Square: that's where I recently saw some kids dancing like mad and one of them did a back flip, landed in a headstand and then took his hands up and stayed stuck to the ground by the very top of his noodle. That's where AvayMareeeee-eeee-eeee-ah! is as well. Also a woman who belts out passionate love songs in spanish: there's a word for that kind of song: what is it? Have you ever seen the guy who sambas and salzas with the doll? But: the boys with the amazing junkyard drums? They are at Union Square.
from whitewall :
it *is* really awful. but i'll have a chance to sort it out with the teacher monday. i hope it's not too bad... thanks for commenting. in a way, it's reassuring to have feedback on this type of issue...
from its4me :
hi again! I agree with your assessment of the overuse of the word "bitch." it's just obnoxious and also, a little tasteless, I think. like you new layout. it's Vermeer, right?
from apples :
i was here. and i read a little bit. now im going again. but i shall be back, oh yes.
from its4me :
thank you very much for the note. it's nice to hear encouraging words. my sister will be OK, I know that, and it's good to know others face the same thing sometimes. I will definitely check out the diary you recommended. hope your grandma makes a full recovery. thanks again. :) Jennifer
from adorno03 :
Ada is really good as is Pale Fire. You don't like Paul Celan anymore?
from pleasehearme :
Odalisk- I had to thank you for everything you said. I've had the most horrible morning. It's seriously just been so bad. I read your note and started to cry. You pin-pointed everything I needed to hear. I know it doesn't seem big to you, but trust me when I say, it was so huge to me. Thank you for being one of the first adults to agree with me, and thank you for taking the time to write... I needed it so badly.
from alain-delon :
do you like the cinema?
from real-lu-lu :
Heya Ingres' lounging beauty: thanks for your soothsayer's attention to the guts I've spilled all over my Diaryland pages!I'll have to return the favor. I DO like your method of listing "faves" like a book reading journal of sorts...and as for fat ladies and skinny mice: I agree.
from adorno03 :
You really want to know what kind of trouble? I think I'd really bore you with all of the details. Sorry if my last note seemed stand-offish. I was trying to be silly but I just came across like a prick. I don't know what I think about Baudrillard anymore. Sometimes I like him but mostly he just makes me mad. America was the stupidest book I've ever read. I guess I don't know what to make of any of those Frog theorists.
from its4me :
thanks for stopping in. I enjoyed reading through your back (and front) pages as well. and I appreciate the recommendations. also, just thought I'd let you know that I couldn't stop crying after Dancer in the Dark either. nor have I been able to see it for a second time. anyway, thanks again.
from adorno03 :
Byronic? Like the Byronic woman and the 6 Million Dollar Man? Oh, wait, that's something else. I stand by my original statement-I'm a neurotic freak. The types of girls you describe are nothing but trouble and I know from experience. However, as you're trying to write a thesis (on Disney? Does that mean you have to quote Simulations by Baudrillard a lot? I'm not sure I really approve of this whole cult -stud thing but that's neither here nor there) I'll spare you the details.
from adorno03 :
I had to re-read my entry to know what you were asking; I shouldn't be allowed to write diary entries after I've knocked back more than six drinks. Geez, how embarrassing. Anywho, a snaggletooth is, uh, a misshapen and/or crooked tooth; one so noticable that it ruins an otherwise fine set of teeth. Some of the less culturally sensitive refer to it as a "white-trash tooth."
from adorno03 :
I enjoyed reading your paper and although I haven't read Cities of The Red Night since I was 16 (at which point I probabably didn't understand as much of it as I thought I had) I found it illuminating. In regards to Eros/Thanatos etc...you might be interested in Eros & Civilization by Herbert Marcuse (it always comes back to the Frankfurt school with me) in which he critiques, among other things, the pleasure principle vs. the reality principle and repression vs. surplus repression. I dunno, you might find it appealing.
from inarticulate :
You and I must have had the same photography teacher. Thx for the pep talk!

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