I am currently a cynical asshole with delusions of grandeur ... but oh so cute and cuddly.
 My favorite diaries: |
| awittykitty profile - diary |
| comments: "I�m calling about your (indecipherable noise), I mean your hamster�s behavior problems, I mean, the iambic parameters of words beginning with the letter �I�, I mean yark, ummm, yeah, apartments are coool! YEAH! WHOA!! Hamsters!! Yes. I agree." |
| unclebob profile - diary |
| comments: one funny motherchicken ... but of course you already knew that, since I haven't met anyone who HASN'T listed him as a favorite |
| purplecigar profile - diary |
| comments: this chick obsesses about the same stuff I obsess about ...which makes me feel better |
| gerg69 profile - diary |
| comments: he makes his own spaghetti sauce ... we have a winner |
| hissandtell profile - diary |
| comments: she brings new meaning to the term "free spirit" ... and also the term "nymphomaniac" |
| accentjunkie profile - diary |
| comments: someone else who believes in proofreading -- there IS a God! |
| jacqueline21 profile - diary |
| comments: a poetic soul |
| smashley719 profile - diary |
| comments: she makes my heart hurt |
| missemmerica profile - diary |
| comments: "Bush became prez and his vacant gubanadorial seat was taken over by his next-in-command- a dude named Rick Perry who makes W. look like Joan Baez." |
| thatgrrrl profile - diary |
| comments: so amusingly strange! |
| her-story profile - diary |
| comments: "Because, to be honest... *I* wouldn't mess with a black man with a Scotch-Irish name in a kilt who can throw big heavy shit far distances. That's like asking for trouble." |
| surrenderme profile - diary |
| comments: Her stories speak for themselves (wink wink, nudge nudge). |
| idiot-milk profile - diary |
| comments: "All I have to say is that the queers better get their shit together for next year's parade. No more of this boring stuff, homosexuals!" |
| fuzzy-grey profile - diary |
| comments: "My comedy is inching along. Um. More millimetering along. Atom-ing along? It's going slow is what I'm trying to say." |
| groovy-decay profile - diary |
| comments: "Look out, scary Republicans! You�ve got a nation of pot-smoking pacifist pinko queers looming just to the north of you! Impose tariffs on our softwood lumber, will you? We�re gonna come down there and sodomise your sons!" |
| sunnflower profile - diary |
| comments: "You have to stop for awhile and let the world roll along and slow yourself down. I believe that all of this is good medicine for body and soul in this harried modern age." |
| quoted profile - diary |
| comments: Back, and better than ever! (For those with attention spans too short to read an actual diary entry.) |
| amomsmusings profile - diary |
| comments: Finding time to update with all those kids running around has got to be some kind of super power |
| marn profile - diary |
| comments: "I did not exactly lie to him, but I've found an expression that says, "I do not know of what you speak" tinged with a soup�on of "I do not speak the English so well me" can sometimes help me skate over these bumpy patches.&q |
| bindyree profile - diary |
| comments: "In my household, I have frequently referred to His Majesty as The Beav." |
| pastaman44 profile - diary |
| comments: Brian the Pimp |
| thedailywtf profile - diary |
| comments: "If you are easily offended by broad stereotypical comments, prepare to hate my guts with a burning festering passion so exquisite it actually makes you horny." |
| arc-angel666 profile - diary |
| comments: He makes my rockin' world go round! |
| ebm profile - diary |
| comments: "Check out this gnarly assemblage of fans, featuring one dude who hasn't fully evolved yet." |
| sixweasels profile - diary |
| comments: Assholia seems to be a wonderful place. |
| geeked-out profile - diary |
| comments: "I can assure Bordens or whoever the fuck makes this stuff that real cream does not make my tea taste like the inside of someones ass." |
| poolagirl profile - diary |
| comments: "The only entertainment on site was a Pepsi machine. When it ate coins, we were allowed to dance in front of it and sing the 'This Damn Machine Ate My Money' song." |
| ramblin-bill profile - diary |
| comments: "When I opened up my e-mailbox tonight, I had mail from [email protected] titled "My mom not only stuffed me but she made me cum." Interesting ... You don't think Caitlyn's message could be porn spam, do you?" |
| dangerspouse profile - diary |
| comments: How have I only just now started reading him?! |
| wench77 profile - diary |
| comments: Great writer, although she seems to be afraid of infectious sand diseases |
| beckers-j profile - diary |
| comments: An Upstate girl, as I am -- how could I not like her? |
| miss-k2 profile - diary |
| comments: Go to http://losing-control.blogspot.com |
| mavenhaven profile - diary |
| comments: She had me at "exhibitionism." |
| zencelt profile - diary |
| comments: Courtesy of sixweasels and Assholia, a great find! |
| sparkspark profile - diary |
| comments: "I was explaining my difficulty in spelling the way she pronounces the word "baby," which is less a word than an unintelligible honking sound ... It's like, "brggggggggggggh-baaaaaaaaah" or something." |
| bigpimpinmba profile - diary |
| comments: I know, I know, I'm like the LAST person to discover his ultra-pimpness. Don't make the same mistake I did -- check this guy out, like, yesterday. |
| hydrogeek profile - diary |
| comments: " "Are you 'sig heil'ing me?" " |
| suzannadanna profile - diary |
| comments: "Get some more jeans man. I do not need to know your religion. Thank you." |
| luvabeans profile - diary |
| comments: "After toying with and abandoning the idea of wedging our way into a crowded and expensive drag bar, we found ourselves in a very nice porn shop. As one does." |
| yeahimadork profile - diary |
| comments: "Sleep with one eye open, Johnny. Even your Scientology minions won't be able to save you if we meet in a dark alley." |
| hooterville profile - diary |
| comments: "I sure like beer now that I know what it tastes like! Also, dick! Dick is great!" |
| thecritic profile - diary |
| comments: "Now I know it�s both stereotypical and ignorant to assume that these two men were gay simply because they were driving on a Vespa� together�holding carpeting�" |
| smedindy profile - diary |
| comments: "Even if Shelbi or Ashlee becomes president or a Supreme Court justice, the first thing I will think of (well, probably the first thing) would be 'Ready? OK!' " |
| andrew profile - diary |
| comments: "Hamburgers do it with relish." |
| porktornado profile - diary |
| comments: Consider the bandwagon jumped upon if you must ... but damn him, he's so fucking funny! |
| spudder profile - diary |
| comments: He's my template bitch. |
| mnvnjnsn profile - diary |
| comments: "Put me in a situation in which I frequent an area (like, say, a job or a store) and, given enough frequency, I will find someone who, if I were that kind of person, I would stalk." |
| smoog profile - diary |
| comments: "Yeah, so I went into my ex's home with a blowtorch and a bucket of cow manure. Who hasn't?" |
| dinahsoar profile - diary |
| comments: Her words paint beautiful pictures. |
| wilberteets profile - diary |
| comments: "Apparently there's not much to do in Fuckitville, so they procreate as soon as their jibbleys are ripe." |
| anenigma profile - diary |
| comments: "We had the hardest time making a working arrangement in the livingroom because His Chair has to be set a certain way. But only, it's not. Anymore, that is." |
| pissymystic profile - diary |
| comments: She sure fooled me ... |
| warcrygirl profile - diary |
| comments: "And now on to the FUCK! portion of my entry." [http://warcrygirl.blogspot.com] |
| momma-at-17 profile - diary |
| comments: Her courage is inspiring. |
| weetabix profile - diary |
| comments: "... we were going to park the KIA in the Loading and Unloading Only spot, declaring that my name was actually Loading and Jen was indeed Unloading and what a happy coincidence that would be, non?" |
| kitchenlogic profile - diary |
| comments: I've just discovered her, and now you must do the same! |
| batten profile - diary |
| comments: She answered the door wearing the "Who's Your Baghdaddy?" t-shirt I sent her, while offering me a delicious cocktail. How could I NOT love her?! |
| goingloopy profile - diary |
| comments: "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus" |
| plopphizz profile - diary |
| comments: "For example, if you are reading books entitled "Baby names for dummies", "Senior dogs for dummies" or "The complete idiot's guide to cooking with mixes", you are going to have to expect a little fluff." |
| unfukd profile - diary |
| comments: The Land of the Not Laid -- my group diary; drop a note if you want in! |
| kristintracy profile - diary |
| comments: "I have not had sex with an anthropomorphized rodent." |
| mousemilk profile - diary |
| comments: "Now if you�ll excuse me, apparently I have to take a picture of myself reading Mein Kampf and wearing the cat." |
| twelvebeer profile - diary |
| comments: It's the Vortex of Funny |
| blazingstar profile - diary |
| comments: "I'm seeing a gynecologist for the first time tomorrow. Hooray." |
| notfukdupasu profile - diary |
| comments: "How the fuck do you get pnuemonia in 100 degree weather anyway. I mean freezing cold maybe. In this heat. I guess that's what you get for sucking on too many dicks." |
| rickscafe profile - diary |
| comments: "And although I refer to her as �Lindsey the Cock Sucking Corporate Whore� I�m pretty sure, - probably 85% certain, that �Lindsay the Cock Sucking Corporate Whore:� is not her real name." |
| haloaskew profile - diary |
| comments: "Would you like some head with that popcorn chicken?" |
| porchlife profile - diary |
| comments: "P.S. I'm Canadian, so dis my spelling and I'll throw a maple syrup-coated beaver at you." |
| gripewater profile - diary |
| comments: "And I don�t remember what I ever did with the sports bras or the trash can. One of the three dopey kidnappers is probably wearing it as a hat." |
| melwadel profile - diary |
| comments: "Now, I�m not a big Freedom Rider on the Psychopharmaceutical Peace Train, but...XANAX, DO YOUR STUFF." |
| gumphood profile - diary |
| comments: "5000 years ago, The Jews said 'fuck that Multi-Gods thing. Its Yahweh or the Highway!' " |
| nogooddaddy profile - diary |
| comments: "That�s right; our bed gets ALL CAPS and doesn�t need an article. It�s BED. If you had one like it, you�d know." |
| juddhole profile - diary |
| comments: "I will tell you I saw my first bandicoot though, and it was everything I thought it would be. And by 'everything I thought it would be' I mean 'it's kind of a cool lookin' rat.' " |
| ann-frank profile - diary |
| comments: "That is to say, I am here to tell you: The Carnies aren't even fronting anymore." |
| xeroxjunkie profile - diary |
| comments: "Uhm, have you ever given a 1 year old a hot wing? No? Pretty interesting stuff, I tell you." |
My favorite music: |
| Bob Dylan |
| comments: He's a fucking artist above artists. Seriously, I would do him, and he's got about 40 years on me. |
| The Beatles |
| comments: Do I even need to defend my love? Didn't think so. |
| Soundtracks to musicals |
| comments: Doesn't matter what they are. Especially if the songs are easy to learn/sing along to. |
| Tom Petty |
| comments: 'Cause "you don't know how it feeeeeeeels ... no, you don't know how it feeeeeels ..." |
| Johnny Cash |
| comments: He's the man. If you don't agree, fine, but in my book, Johnny's the man. |
My favorite movies: |
| Ghost World |
| comments: Enid should be the president. |
| Amelie |
| comments: The French kick royal booty for making the most original, sweet, funny movie I've seen in YEARS. |
| Anything with Johnny Depp in it |
| comments: I know I don't have to explain this. Anyone who really needs an explanation can come see me personally to get whacked in the face. |
| Fight Club |
| comments: Oh, Brad. You are so fine. Do you want to come live with me? |
| Clerks |
| comments: Kevin Smith is one of the funniest and most fucked up writer/directors of all time, and should be encouraged forever. |
My favorite authors: |
| Dave Barry |
| comments: I have wanted to be Dave Barry since I was a small child and my dad read me his columns every week. My dream is to be the female him, and I will read anything with his name on it. |
| Oscar Wilde |
| comments: Sorry to displace Kerouac, but this flaming homo is my hero |
| Hunter S. Thompson |
| comments: Every aspiring or current journalist needs to read "The Rum Diary." It shed a whole new drunken light on my chosen line of work. Rest in Peace. |
| Agatha Christie |
| comments: I looove me a good murder mystery! And you know, I can never guess the ending. She was such a slick broad. |
| David Sedaris |
| comments: This guy cracks me up. Read "Naked;" I did and almost fell off the couch from laughing so damn hard. |
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last updated: 2009-05-06 05:08:58
this user's total entries: 338
user since: 2005-02-17
AOL IM name: damntheman828
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