DiaryLand members area

WOW! What a saga you lived in SL. I lived a few sagas myself in the ole digital den of iniquities. My real life took a dramatic turn or two and my RL guy came into SL and kinda ruined it for me. I am in there still, but not like I used to be. I should embroil myself in a good scandal. That's a darn good distraction sometimes. I am currently dodging someone who loves me relentlessly... and against my will I might add. He only knows one of my avatars, so I stay on the one he doesn't know, which is the one you know. So Holla! I'll watch out for those emo college professors with the jerk off movies.

from wilberteets :

Sorry about the 5 years in second life. I'm still there too. I didn't know you were still in there! You must have killed off your avi and started over.

from twinklies1 :

I'm so god damned happy you've updated.

from omfggwtf :

i like this :)

from nilliem :

11/18/10...yeah, I hear you on that. 17 years and counting....

from wilberteets :

Jenn will never understand the love you and Adam share.

from nilliem :

HEY! I live in the sticks; its all that and a bag of chips. (good to see you writing....)

from wilberteets :

Word.

from whystinger :

very cool diary indeed!

from wilberteets :

Dude, why are you not posting? I miss you. I also was looking forward to the white trash bash pictorial. C'mon... Break me off a little.

from archer-amiss :

Actually my fiance doesn't get hot at the idea of a threesome with me and other women either. Weird, huh? I keep hoping one of these days I can talk him into it :D

from squeetthang :

Well, just so you know, I am still up for it...bowling pin and all...and I love cream cheese more than a dyke in a motorcycle shop.

from squeetthang :

And how hot is that chick in your background...grrrr.

from wilberteets :

1) I hate Jewell also. The yodeling... the crazy tooth.. the over-inflated ego. 2) I have a giant container of Astroglide in SL for you and I am going to sign in and drop it on your profile right now. I cannot rename it, and it has a stupid name like "You can never have too much of this stuff", but when you rez it... Astroglide. Enjoy. I use mine on friends who leave their avies unattended while they are afk. When they come back, there are photos of them, the huge vat of astroglide, and at least one big dildo.

from enigma1111 :

Hey, I had to add you to my favoes because of on of your archives...lolIt was my kind of entry to a tee!

from nightmare54 :

Dude that blows! having your BFF walk out because your family sucks ass. Keep your chin up, eventually they will all be dead.

from wastedday :

at last...

from cai5fnatux :

Whoot! THANK YOU for coming back and making me laugh my ass off as always. Life just got better.

from egoslap :

You piss excellence. Im glad you came back.

from rented :

Huzzah! I literally got up and danced around the room with my cat. SO glad you're back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from nightmare54 :

I see you have returned to the old stomping ground. Welcome back. Now maybe I can have a good day once again!

from hamlette2002 :

You make me dread my beautiful little boy aging past 10. Seriously. Welcome back, though, my giggle button needs some serious pushing.

from ochweidnit :

Knew you'd be back. That's why I didn't delete you from faves. Yes I am that lame. Don't know who you used to read but if it was me, note me to get pword. If you didn't ignore the above. Carry on.

from moncapitaine :

YAY! I'm so glad you're back.

from wilberteets :

Glad to see you're back. I thought my eyes were deceiving me...

from so-charming :

'Bout time you got your ass back here. Missed you!

from luckeme :

that sucks. best of luck to ya.

from squeetthang :

OH! Fantastic! But can we make the cream cheese lite...I am trying to watch my girlish figure. Mmmmk, well, Merry Christmas to yas and I hope that you have an orgasmic New Year!

from squeetthang :

No really, I am still waiting for the hot lesbian sex you said I would get for buying you your 6 month SuperGold...

from reynedecoupe :

Does your @dland addy work?

from kungfukitten :

Hi there! I tried to e-mail you re: 12% Beer, did you get my e-mail or was it spam filtered? E-mail me por favor [email protected] for more exciting information (I swear I'm not trying to sell you anything)

from reynedecoupe :

Ha! Just got the note. Are you bored enough to want my locale, or do you prefer your imagination's version of me, you, The 'hole and a bottle o' JD? OH!!!

from bobbiedylan :

sorry to hear about all the drama. i teach sixth grade so im glad i read this entry. it reminds me of how hard it is on the parents' side.

from thedailywtf :

gold membership sucked them away when I refused to pay those mafia fuckers! damn you andrew!!

from moncapitaine :

Found you while I was poking around in the member's area, love you, and have been reading your archives. I just have one question - what happened to all the pictures? Did they get taken down due to space/gold membership issues or because people got angry? I hate that I'm missing out on your step-daughter's prom pictures. :)

from fuzzy-grey :

Have you considered applying to be in the Dr. Phil house? Forreal! That would RAWQ! Aaaaaaaaaand... I think ya'll need it.

from makakio :

(dancing around office) YAY - something to do today. And maybe tomorrow. And the day after that. Besides work, of course! WELCOME BACK.

from frankzappa :

Never never leave us again. Never.

from memmunch :

Thank the deities you're back! YAY!

from so-charming :

That was revolting. I love you.

from nerdisalexa :

the disciplinary system for minors IS all fucked up

from luckeme :

Seriously, about your last entry! WHAT THE FUCK! :) xoxo. I work in the "children who are bad field". I see this injustice every day. What a crock. Good luck hon!

from wastedday :

I once again have a reason to live! But really, so glad your back. I was worried. Hope everything is ok. After YEARS of reading you I was going through serious withdrawls!! Welcome home girl! *does a little happy dance*

from nightmare54 :

There you are. I knew you couldn't stay away for too long. You're way too funny and fucked up to leave me hanging like that.

from rented :

*sigh* Ahhhhh. Much better. I hope you know that some stranger out here is thinking about you. Not in a creepy way, but in a "I hope she's going to be ok" way. It's bad, I can tell. I hope things end up ok. I'll just sit here and do all I can. Which is nothing. I'll just read. Ok.

from muppet23 :

I have to admit, it's much easier to follow you when the red light 'buddy list' blares. I've enjoyed your drama (and, how f'ing weird is it to say, "through the YEARS" now) -- even if the only reason is because I can sit back and say, "Wow. She's way more f'ed up than me." So, yeah, thanks for adding me to the list... And thanks for continuing to write (regardless of where or how you are). End drunk rant.

from so-charming :

Rachelllllle... where you at girl? If you gotta new blog, I'd really like to come see. Hope everything is ok!

from makakio :

Okay, so I'm working through the anger and denial stages here, but I refuse to quietly resign myself and accept that you've moved or stopped posting. Come back, dear Rachelle. We need your (as Dusty calls them) sarcasm glands. You can't leave us hanging wondering if it's 232 days until your step-whigger is out of your life -- or if you got a windfall and he's hanging for that time in juvie. It's like waiting for a new season of the Sopranos - and I *hate* HBO for that...

from rented :

*cough* WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

from makakio :

You wuss. Where have you gone, Rachelle?

from makakio :

Okay okay already! I'll stop talking shit and just get back to enjoying the insanity. Bring it back, Rachelle.

from rented :

WTF!??! Not again....?

from hamlette2002 :

*scratching head in confusion*

from orsimblossim :

What the hell happened to you? :P

from rented :

WTF?!??!?

from hamlette2002 :

Um...what?

from sixelasauce :

The once daily Shit Show..is some funny shit. I have heard this complaint from fellow wives...but your spin on it is hilarious. I myself go through the same thing everyday...especially the part where there is no fanfare when I go to the bathroom...ugh men.

from blindessence :

You know how you often like to post things that happen in the news, the crazy things and what not, I found something pretty funny! I don't know if you've heard of it. I wanted to email it to you, but i couldn't find an email address and I'm not going to put into this note because it would be way too long.

from sixelasauce :

ok..I am new to you..and I am going to read it all...you make me laugh my ass off...and I love it!!!!

from fluttrbykiss :

Sooooo.. That was YOU who posted THAT over at BlueMeany's diary... I was thinking it was Sooo not like her... LOL...

from kommkayriel :

Your diary was recommended to me by a friend, and I am glad she did. I love reading it. Keep those entries coming. LKK. P.S. Sorry you could not have one unruined night of culture. That show is a rather good one. Take care...

from bluemeany :

And speaking of Jews ... check this out: http://minoritiesforwhiteamerica.org/index.php?cat=17. You will not be disappointed.

from bluemeany :

Yo! (Yeah, I said "yo." What?) Are you still alive? Because that would suck balls if you're not, dude. I've gone too long already wthout my morning Jew bagel.

from cdnfoxygirl :

What's up with the seven day wait for an entry? Don't you know that there are some of us out here who's lives revolve around you and your posts. It's like when people quit their jobs to watch the OJ trial and were completely lost when it ended. I'm lost like that now. *sniff* You are still alive though, right? 'Cause if not, I want your Eniman.

from uridium15 :

i hate to be a boring asshole, but i just felt like sharing with you, after having read your adventures of eniman deal, that i made a similar thing to that when i was 17. only it was about these two carebears i got - a big one and a wee one. the big one was penisbirth bear and thw wee one was hermaphrodite bear (i think they were sunshine bear and wish bear, legally) and as you'll probably already concluded, the story revolves around penisbirth bear (wish bear) giving birth to hermaphrodite bear (sunshine bear)... i even took photos of it, but it tragically disgusted everyone who viewed it. what can ya do? distasteful bastards.

from chained-soul :

I removed the comment from my profile...And for the record, I have all my teeth, too...

from chained-soul :

I certainly didn't mean anything by it...I'm from Georgia, and some of the funniest people I've ever met live here in Georgia...I love your diary, and your style of writing...If you were offended, please accept my apology...

from donut-one :

I've been there! I was actually just recently super excited to have started my period...sadly...I've been on it for 14 days and counting now, and really, would have rather just had a baby.

from couchgolfr :

You are a great writer. Seriously. My friend told me about your blog and I think you are great. You are smart and funny - my favorite combination. Keep it up. I hope to visit again to read more.

from missy-17 :

hey, i like your diary layout, it is pretty damn cool

from thedailywtf :

It looks just like me! Now, if you can find the General Lee instead of a Lambourghini, it'll be full on corndoggie!

from miss-vanity :

my bad, wroong link. - http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y12/Miss-Vanity/untitled.jpg

from miss-vanity :

so i visited this dolls site in my mood of boredom where you can make your own dolls. I found this mullet hair piece and couldn't resist making you a white trashie. I hope it's trashy enough. It's even go a sexy car in the background. - http://photobucket.com/albums/y12/Miss-Vanity/?action=view¤t=untitled.jpg

from sailorob :

Hey Rachelle. My name is Melissa... Long time fan...

from blindessence :

I think I'd shit twice and die if some old, "ex" wang swayer ever pelvic thrusted infront of me. I'm sorry you had to somewhat witness that, if you indeed did. From what I gather, it was an event of the unfortunate nature.

from sugar-tooth :

Now i don't know if you read but if you ever feel the need then you should def check out a series called 'The Diary of V' by Debra Kent...why am i saying this? Because i realised that it felt the same as reading something you would have written. Just sounds like you wrote it..Yeah obscure hey? Why should you care? Who knows. Should i shut up? Nah.

from anenigma :

Keee-rist woman you are so freaking funny. Holy shit. I'm totally jealous of your balls to shoot pics of the neighbors, relatives, coworkers, etc. Funny stuff.

from f-i-n :

amazing site...i love it

from thalakos84 :

You spelled surgery wrong........Love, �

from bluemeany :

Maybe you can hook up Crazy Sarah with my incompetent virgin waterheaded co-worker who sends insulting e-mails to himself and drives a pussy-ass Nissan Frontier and risked getting kicked out of the Army to go to a Michelle Branch concert.

from bluemeany :

Yeah, so, since I have chosen not to be productive today and instead to amuse myself by reading diaries, I've been reading yours all day and probably making your stats shoot up to previously inconceivable levels. You are the funniest asshole I've encountered in so. damn. long. Thanks for hating everyone and making me laugh myself retarded while reading about it. - Meany

from thalakos84 :

I don't know where you live, but Dave is really starting to piss me off. Actually, I don't hate anyone, but I REALLY fucking dislike him. Annoying prick...... Love, �

from lettynow :

I love little mexico.... I think I'll move there. So is that what white people say about us :) Love it!!! My kid calls our neighbors house the hotel, I think Ill give him this new phrase its much funnier...

from goldylockz22 :

hey you! Add me to your dumb list!!! plllleaaasseeee!!!

from lettynow :

Im readingyour archives right now. I added you to my favs you are the funniest human beingon the face of the earth. YOu need to get paid for this really you do...

from dailypieces :

oh my god her dress---Eeks. and the car? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. And the ex? ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy.

from thebytch :

I spent the weekend reading (most of) your archives and laughing my tits off. Thanks for getting my ass kicked out of bed.

from luxlust :

I slung coffee for 5 years, it actually was the best job i ever had. Fuck corporate America.

from pollyprince :

'wipe the walls' .. that's a classic one, I'm gonna use it ;)

from bluemeany :

IKEA kicks ass! Whenever I get something there and put it together, I tell people that I "built" it and don't even feel guilty. By the way, the phrase "orgasming Wookie" almost made me snort Dr Pepper, geyser-like, all over my keyboard. Thank you. Fucker.

from bluemeany :

Dude, if some fucking retail bitch had hung up on me, I would have gone down there and wrapped HER in plastic! Props for the self-restraint. By the way, I do the thing with the verb tenses too ... why does that happen?? It's so annoying.

from pollyprince :

I would have gone through the f'n roof myself, its that kind of behavior that makes people go off the deep end. I say let your husband have his way with that place ... tell him its on!

from hamlette2002 :

I knew it! I knew they had to get those midget porn stars from SOMEWHERE. Huh. 100% California-orange-fed star-quality miniature beefcakes, fresh from your local midget farmer.

from nightmare54 :

You should read about my fucking door incident! and the mutherfucker was a cheap 600.00 freanch bastard from fucking Homo depot! I hate the fucking stupidity of this country.

from dooki :

I just might be dating your husband. Chris has actually asked me whether or not if he's hungry. What the fuck is that about? Seriously? You don't fucking KNOW if you're hungry? My g-spot has a couch waiting for me...I think I'll go there now.

from grassyknoll :

OWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. How could someone DO that to their own face? Oh yeah, and Kill Bill is on my top five movies of all time (the top being a little crowded with the LOTR trilogy)....

from thalakos84 :

Are you a yelling mother, a spanking mother, or both? Don't know where that came from. Just letting you know people think about you. Love, �

from pollyprince :

Sometimes I wish I had a button that would turn people's voices to the wah, wah, wah ... etc. ... that would be pretty great.

from goingloopy :

I saw some street painting like that...only it was "SOTP". I want a job painting the street so I can have good drugs too....

from uandicollide :

I, too, was perplexed about the whole "Pope changing his name" thing...so, I asked my one of my co-workers...who is a REAL LIVE Catholic person... I mean she went to an all girls Catholic school and everything...and, she told me that the reason they pick different names is because one guy who was elected Pope a long time ago...who's real name was Mercutio or something like that...well evidently, the name Mercutio comes from the pagan god, Mercury.... and of course the Catholic Church didn't want a Pope who had a pagan god name...so he picked a new one...and from then on they all started picking new ones...

from athryn :

The rule is that the next Pope has to be aged between 65 and 80. Their life span after becoming Pope is an average of 6.3 years. I read that in a Dan Brown book so it must be true :)

from nightmare54 :

I think you should visit www.haloscan.com and put a comments thingy on your posts so it is easier for me to bug you. Oh and nice ass suckage pic by the way.

from ramble-on :

The Pope actually picks out his own name. I was wondering the same thing last night until I looked it up on the internet. We all know that everything on the internet is true.

from cdnfoxygirl :

I miss you when you're gone. *sniff* screw what ever plans you have on your weekends and just keep us amused.

from yeahimadork :

Your schedule is nothing. I have to do this today: Go to work. Spend the entire day reading diaries and leaving retarded comments/notes. Email friends and make as many long distance calls as possible. Go home. Drink copious amounts of vodka. Try to masturbate and realize I am too drunk and stupid to work a vibrator. Pass out.

from awittykitty :

My schedule: Haul my ass out of bed. Run past the open window because I sleep in the nude. I don't want the postman to see me. Only the cute chiropractor who lives next door. Eat soup. Watch the weather. Take a nap. Masturbate. Watch the news. Eat a frozen dinner. Try not to let it fall in the cat box since my microwave is right over the cat box. Masterbate. Take photos. Go to bed. p.s. I only try to turn water into wine on holidays.

from uandicollide :

My husband doesn't think I'm funny either...anyone else would be laughing hysterically and he's just like, "Get away from me, dumbass!!"....What the heck is that??

from thedailywtf :

I don't know about that...he's constantly saying "What the fuck is wrong with my daughter?" and in the background in a little silly whisper I say, "Too many chromosomes."

from retailharlot :

the comment about your stepdaughter was the meanest -- and funniest -- thing I've read in ages. Somehow, though, I bet your husband would disagree. :)

from pollyprince :

I usually sign on in the morning to get my daily wtf .. my morning is not complete yet .. ah fuck, its Monday .. I hate Mondays.

from faded-dark :

So I'm not supposed to be reading this? being fourteen and all...nah, I'm staying. I'll freak out if I stop reading, can't have that now.

from faded-dark :

So I'm not supposed to be reading this? being fourteen and all...nah, I'm staying. I'll freak out if I stop reading, can't have that now. PS Elvisload is a load of frog shit.

from bingoguy :

I almost peed my pants! That'd been if I had been wearing any at all at the time.

from retailharlot :

The pope totally looks like the fucking crypt-keeper on Drag Queen Night. It's ridiculous.

from laydeejane :

Hey Rachelle I must have been reading you for a whole YEAR. Be fucking grateful! Maybe the vodka had sommat to do with it all but I did pretty much every quizilla quiz going. We are both the same swear word...dontcha feel connected? No? Blow me. Well yeah just thought I'd say hi. Is that pic at the end of each page you? Good luck with the house, Keri x

from nightmare54 :

well not that I approve or even like to see suspensions, but my head is filled with usless knowledge. Suspensions have been around way before the retards in the story, like a couple 100 years on the short side. The indidans Sorry native americans (fucking PC bullshit) found their gods through a similer tourture but they used Hawk talons. It was portrayed by Richard Harrison in the movie "A Man Called Horse"....Just because I know weird shit.

from nightmare54 :

Well personally I think any girl covered in a dairy product, rotton or not is pretty sexy. Just ask my girl Elise. She is a milk maid.

from hamlette2002 :

The Pope and Terri Schiavo - my GAWD, if I'm gone, let me go and get rid of the evidence. Sheesh.

from yeahimadork :

white trash potheads+garage sex=fucking hilarious (or hilarious fucking)

from thedailywtf :

We're sleeping on the couch/floor and trading off every other night so neither of us ends up crippled. Much. And you can say funny as fuck in complete safety. Also, everyone who says I'm awesome and great and whatthehellever else....that sort of makes me feel this weird mix of cocky, terrified, creepy pride. IT ROCKS.

from warcrygirl :

So, is it safe to say you're as funny as fuck? If you're resorting to fucking in the garage where the hell to you guys sleep? And which wall will be getting the sheetrock with the pecker tracks all over it?

from poolagirl :

I got to your site by linking and linking and linking.....(don't actually know where I started but I know I didn't link myself because I don't want to go blind and stuff)....and I almost peed my pants! You are completely and totally amazing! I plan to visit again - soon!

from pollyprince :

.. didn't someone say Hooters? Glad to hear spider is alright.

from sulkyb :

I read several newspaper columns every day, but this has them all beat. You could do this for a living girl!

from hairburner :

I hope the vet gave you doggie tranquilizers. One for Spider and one for you. With a beer. I'm glad to hear that she's going to be okay. Poor thing.

from dailypieces :

New reader here! Mom to: Dog, cat, 2 fish and a rabbit so I can understand the fear element, we nearly lost my pooch 3 yrs ago to a Parvo look-a-like virus. The ONE night she spent in hospital was the quietest its ever been in my house. And the longest. Ive NEVER EVER forgotten that night. I'm SO glad Spider is ok. You have a beautiful fur baby there!

from warcrygirl :

Yay for Spider! Our dog got hit Christmas of 2000 and ended up getting a hip replacement. Sounds like Spider is well on her way. Make the idiot who hit her pay the vet bill!

from thalakos84 :

A self-proclaimed and intelligent hick is strangely alluring. Keep your head up. Love, -D

from hamlette2002 :

So glad to hear she's home and things are looking up! And yeah, I'd be wondering why they would pick THAT moment, of all times, to ask you to audition as a Hooters waitress. Sheesh.

from dmorgan :

What a sweet face she has! Hope everything is ok. -DM

from bbwing :

Sorry about your doggie. I hope she gets better really quick.

from hairburner :

Rachelle, I am so sorry to hear about Spider. I hope she recovers quickly and is back to worshipping you in no time. I hope you're okay too.

from funnypoops :

I'm so sorry about your dog. Good luck and I hope Spider recovers quickly.

from rella47 :

Hope Spider is going to pull through this. Hugs to ya both.

from xquzme :

Damn. I hate that. I really hope Spider is okay. My dog got nailed by a racoon last week and had to get stiches. I was a basket case when I brought her home after the anesthesia.... I've already told my boss I'm using bereavment time when she goes. I hope it's not Spider's time.

from bluemeany :

I just found your diary through awittykitty, and I have to let you know that I think you're fucking funny, and in the words of the Terminator, I'll be back. And I hope Spider is okay.

from warcrygirl :

Awwww, poor Spider! Here's hoping she makes a full recovery. Did the driver stop and let you know or just take off like a chickenshit douchebag?

from twobaddogs :

We've got our fingers and stuff crossed for Spider. I hope she is OK.

from hamlette2002 :

Warm, loving thoughts for your Spider, I hope she recovers quickly.

from juli-anne :

I hope Spider is ok!

from dvlshkitten :

I hope that all goes well. You and Spider will be in my thoughts.

from ramble-on :

Hope everything goes well!!

from ayred-out :

I really hope Spider is okay.

from usmcsis :

thinking of you and spider. ((hugs))

from pollyprince :

It is so true when people say pets are like family members, I hope your dog gets better soon.

from retailharlot :

luck.

from pollyprince :

As always, the best diary read around, thanks for the giggles.

from warcrygirl :

At least your hubby is awake and on the phone; mine would either be asleep in bed or asleep on the couch. Next time just pounce on his hardon and watch him try to say no.

from thedailywtf :

yes, that's me. scary, huh?

from x-play-x :

Funny shit man. Hey, is the pick at the bottom you? j/w

from warcrygirl :

Heh heh, I look forward to hearing how you torture the twat that is Keri. She has the same profile as the Canary, one of my former coworkers. And as far as the overly dramatic porn star routine; you sound like me except all I yell out is YES YES and OH GOD OH GOD. Why didn't the coroner wait a few days? All that gas would have built up and shot old fat dead Elvis to the fucking moon.

from cdnfoxygirl :

I tell everyone that you are my new best friend. Except for the boy who won't leave me alone, to him I say that you're my lover. 'Cause I've got a thing for older chicks.

from rella47 :

Is that YOU in the picture? Gawd, you're adorable and hysterically funny too. You're my inspiration!

from pashiesplace :

Oh dear god. Tell me crazy Sarah's eye shadow looks slightly better in person!

from goingloopy :

...one good thing about living alone. If it's a big giant mess, even one you made, you can get in touch with your inner whiny pussy and leave it that way as long as you can still get to your bed.

from nightmare54 :

"Egg seeking missle of fury" That is pretty fucking funny right there.

from mousemilk :

i sometimes accidentally type urls into the google toolbar just under the address window, instead of the address window itself. maybe you can get a yahoo toolbar and someone did the same thing there. Or maybe they're a knob.

from pixie-led :

About typing in the entire site address into Google - first off; it wasn't me, really. Second; When you have everything nice and neat in your drop down history menu, that you use everyday (rather than going into your favorites) you don't want it to get filled with stuff that you DON'T use everyday. And when it starts to get cluttered with random addresses you don't use, you have to clear it, there by making you have to type in all your sites that you WANT in your drop down history all over again. So instead you just google it and click the link. I am no longer neurotic enough to do that, but I used to be.

from retailharlot :

Three notes in a row from me. Wow, I'm the big loser. Anyway, I asked the same question about searches, and was told that weird searches like that are done by people who read you from work. They don't want a browser trail in their little drop-down box thingy. Except the person who told me that did it much more succinctly.

from retailharlot :

I grew up with a dresser EXACTLY like that. Of course, we couldn't afford fancy stuff like rebel flags and Dells.

from retailharlot :

I'm totally familiar with Phase Four, but am lucky enough to be able to hang up on the jerk (and then unplug the phone). I don't really get it. I mean, when I'm drunk, I just cry because my mommy doesn't love me and my couch smells like ass. Fucking men.

from x-play-x :

Damn you people who didn't like the national enquierer template. It as f-n great!!! Anyway- I love eading your diary. It's really the only thing that makes me laugh now-a-days...

from rella47 :

wtf happened here? your layout changes daily now, even though your updates don't.

from pollyprince :

I love reading your diary, its funny as shit and so true.

from thedailywtf :

man, you freakin' people who are not in the clutches of Bill Gates! DAMN YOU. It took me 4 hours to teach myself CSS to build that fucking thing!

from grassyknoll :

Erm...nice layout, but your diary's all black, woman. I have to do a "Select All" to read it. :P P.S. Tae-bo's a bitch, but it's the only thing that's EVER allowed me to lose weight. True story.

from hooterville :

Fuck! The new layout is fricking rad, but my computer is too retarded to process those little scroll bar thingies. mom-on-roof just did the same thing, and I've had to stop reading hers. Is there anything you can do about this? For me? Because I'll wet myself more consistently without your diary, I swear.

from goldylockz22 :

you make me love you.

from rollynn :

Hey I tried the TaeBo stuff too. every time I say I'm going to keep at it I only do it for a week or two & give up...I'm a lazy-ass. Good job doing it two days in a row...I could never manage to move my muscles enough to do that. Keep up the good work, maybe I should try to get back to doing it too...fun fun...but then again not :)

from smokinkudzu :

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. That's great. I mean, it's not great, but it's fucking hilarious, and I wish for your sake that you were kdding. The fact that you're not and that you haven't already rammed that milk steamer nozzle up some little 16 year old Ashely's ass means you'll get sainthood for sure. Even before that Mother Theresa broad. What's fucking leprosy compared to serving coffee to high schoolers?

from usmcsis :

i just laughed so hard i almost passed out. i swear i'm seeing fucking spots. i guess hubby should think twice before he tells you to go fuck yourself again. but i'm so glad he did because for real, that made my night!

from nightmare54 :

much better by the way. And dumb fat guys falling down are always funny!

from kayrayne29 :

Ok. I don't think i've ever laughed out loud at anyones entries that i've read, but that one, i think i scared the neighbours with how loud i laughed... I think "I" nearlly shit my pants after that one!

from thedailywtf :

old people fuck? no frigging way! that's disgusting.

from pumpkinhouse :

Wow. I just shit my pants. I was perusing your list of links and found myself on it...that's not a list of ganks who suck is it?

from nightmare54 :

Wow either lay off of the meth or get back on the ritalin! reading your last post was like watching old people fuck....kinda all over the place!

from goingloopy :

Hey, thanks for adding me to your buddy list. That makes me feel almost as good as the silver bullet. Almost. You know, my friend's silver bullet starting shooting SPARKS. Talk about killing the mood....

from hamlette2002 :

I was a little worried when you said you were peeing this morning - and it HIT you. I mean, yeah, if your ass-fat is hanging so far into the toilet that your piss hits it, it's definitely time to go on a diet. So are you also going to Hawaii for YOUR 10th anniversary?

from hamlette2002 :

Don't feel bad - housewives everywhere are sitting on their asses in your support~

from smokinkudzu :

let's hope her boy isn't a fister

from hamlette2002 :

I have to admit, there is something hilariously ironic about imagining you as the plaintiff in a sexual harassment suit...

from hamlette2002 :

Well, if she's really creeping you out, save the email, and tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone, you'll slap her with a sexual harassment suit. It qualifies!

from goingloopy :

What a complete freak. Maybe you should tell her to shove some Pop Rocks up her twat?

from pashiesplace :

Oh wow! She is psycho!

from ticktrix :

Now I remember why you are on my favorites list!! Glad you're back and as awesome as ever.

from goingloopy :

Yeah, egging is WAY last week. I do recall at some point throwing raw biscuits at cars...but it's very vague, because we made sure we got fucked up FIRST. And yeah, "Royal Canadian Mounted Police" is gay as hell.

from shimmafairy :

On the nail gun story, the dude was eating ice-cream to take down the swelling for those ten days he had the nail in his brain. That must have been a shit load of ice-cream... lucky bastard!

from neonheart :

where the fuck have you been, man? :)

from punkedupqt :

lol. just letting you kno on ur entry about thanksgiving, ure not the only one that has an effed up family that lets all the kids run buck wild while the women are cooking and the men are watching football. good job on joining the club. =) always, +meredith+

from nightmare54 :

bout freaking time! Enjoy Sandals, but I think you'd probably like Hedonism 3 better!!

from juddhole :

Hey sugarbutt. I missed you, but you knew that. I also found out that wiring a car battery to my balls will not, in fact, send me back in time to 1982. Bet you didn't know that. Me lovin you long time, G.I.

from faded-dark :

Yeah. I love you. You're funny shit. The entry about thanksgiving rocked my socks right to the ankle bone. Don't ever change or stop writing. =D

from pashiesplace :

That nail gun story just mystified me!

from nightmare54 :

WTF!! you ever dragging your ass out of the trailer?

from thalakos84 :

Cynicism. I need that in my life. Thanks for making me smile! -D

from default-hell :

You amuse me, and I'm adding you. (Because I'm just egotistical enough to think you give a shit what I do.)

from nightmare54 :

what the fuck? Where have you been? trailer burn down? Man start beating ya? I miss the anger, it is a gift you know!

from pantypulldwn :

hah, you're right. my kids are getting a few small things and that's it. seems like the economy has gone to shit. btw, that's why i don't have credit cards! lol!

from warcrygirl :

Ahhh, well glad that mystery was solved. Now I can die happy. Running up your Visa has nothing to do with whether you're Christian or not. I'm Christian and I'm not spending any more than I have to this year. My kids are lucky they aren't getting empty giant cardboard boxes like they did last year. Mommy and Daddy get the goodies; you boys get the boxes they came in. Everyone's happy!!

from thedailywtf :

That guestbook I've had for years, that was my my first username, and I am just amazingly cheap and lazy.

from warcrygirl :

WTF is up with your guestbook? Are you sharing with someone or did you forget to change the username?

from hamlette2002 :

I had to do that when my daughter was a baby. But a teenager? YIKES! Next time, send him in to the pharmacist ALONE!

from nightmare54 :

Well at least your peep isn't broken anymore.

from nightmare54 :

Well at least your peep isn't broken anymore.

from sugar-tooth :

Glad to see you are back. My daily diary read hasn't been the same without you. I've had to read serious shit by emotional basketcases. Now i can actually laugh at one too, diary that is.

from rue25 :

Hello... anyone home? You need to bring many cuss words back into my life.

from reynedecoupe :

WTF, henceforth known as Where'd Thou Flee?

from dooki :

Where have you been? Don't you know that I'm living vicariously through your diary? I need to feel sane again. So hurry up and upgrade your account or I'll continually spam you with images of herpes infested penises!

from gothsmurf04 :

rachelle, i tried to speak..but words would not come out..what the fuck was that man doing with womens laungere on with his dick in a tail pipe? btw/./put a picture of michael in ur diary..

from madisonrae :

Crazy women! Fuck yeah!

from thedailywtf :

holy shit, that's the funniest and most goddamned vile thing i've ever read.

from boogityx2 :

For definitions of the hot carl and thousands of other terms (such as the Tony Danza), go to www.glossaryofperversion.com

from rickscafe :

hey...congrats on Landmark. Several years ago I did a similliar program called Lifespring. It was one the best things I ever did. I am happy for you.

from maliger :

cool einstein quote

from betchy :

you are being added due to the fact that you are FUNNY AS FUCK!!! if you want to read me, leave me a note and i will give you the password. if not, dont worry, i wont be offended!!

from gothsmurf04 :

omg i had added u to my list a long time ago..yes i k now stalker but what the hell, your the most hillarious thing alive...keep up the...funny?

from maydenl :

Hi, I stumbled across your diary due to a serious amount of boredom, and I have to say..UR HILARIOUS. Is it ok if i add u to my list

from retailharlot :

Hi. I found your diary through dukkha-tanha and just wanted to let you know I'm adding you to my buddy list. Highly entertaining shit!

from bean-n-bacon :

wow, i'd kinda like to be your fucking apprentice or something. do you realize how popular you are? you're like the queen of something. if i could write like you i'd be a fucking billionaire 'cause i'd fucking milk it for all it was worth. ok, so trillionaire. blathering like the stoner fuck i am. goodnight and thank you for the pleasant reading. besos, ~rachel~

from dukkha-tanha :

You are my much-wittier younger sister. Although I prefer to call myself redneck as opposed to white trashie! Absolutely hilarious. I too have 13 and 15 year old boys at home--also step-bros--amongst others. Great diary.

from katanabright :

You are 'tres incroyable', as the snooty French drive-thru waiter at the local McDogfood's often says to me. Since I am a man, I do wonder if there is any hidden message to his compliment. Anyway - About the psycho guy with Maxwell's silver hammer - is the fact that he was from California a serious clue, do you think? If he'd been from Taos, would he have simply tapped her with a pie in the face? Either way... You are wise to answer the door with a fistful of Glock or whatever - not only will you be safer, but the word will get out soon that your place is NOT the one to visit to sell magazine subscriptions, or cookies, or to collect for the Venetian Blind. And (I have to say this quietly) your link to the History of 'the word'...I haven't laughed that hard, really, since << insert clever phrase denoting long interval of time here >> Your sense of humor is wickedly intense (what a great ad phrase for a new breath mint, which would be the perfect followup to your Vile Dentist Story.) Sorry - will shut up now. Thanks for the smiles. And...'peed your Vickies' ?????????? In all my endless years, have Never heard that one, although I DO often have to send my lederhosen out for cleaning...

from hamlette2002 :

Sounds more like it's going to pass like a kidney stone...

from klutzygirl :

OMG!! You are a must have read for the day. I'm adding you, you cracked me up when I so needed a laugh. :)

from exit43 :

Today was my second visit I think, cause I remembered one of the entries, but anyway.. I really dig this site so I'm going to add it to my list, if that's cool with you.

from dalyrical1 :

i will commence to stalk you. i love your site!!

from tacie77 :

The first porn I ever saw was midget porn. It cracked my ass up. But, evidently (I learned this at the beginning of the movie, no less) it's not hard to find midget porn stars. All you have to do is drive up next to one on campus, tell them they're pretty, and ask if they're interested in fucking on tape.

from djraindog :

Sodomise all you want, girlfriend, the Supremes (and I mean the 9 wise folk running the Court, not Diana & Co.) ruled state anti-sodomy laws unconstitutional a few months back. (Fags everywhere rejoiced...Speaking of which, in the NY Pride March, one of the gay hockey players (quite the cool bunch), handing out flyers, saw a guy with a sign by the side of the street that said, "Sodomy is still against God's Law", and cheered, "YAY, SODOMY!" as he passed him. The crowd, and the hockey players, roared.)

from joecartoon :

Don't let them link you until the buy a keyboard that has all 26 letters of the alphabet on it.

from badarsila :

can i link u? i luv ur "in ur face" attitude twds the world. and abt ur "who am i" entry.... tht's grt!

from pandionna :

Hi! Found you through FuzzMom. Read a few entries and LOVE your profile description, so please don't mind me while I raise your hit count a bit and snoop around.

from agiedee :

Cheers pal, I was just beginning to think about lunch and I thought "let's see what's in my inbox today" (I was having an internal conversation with my imaginery brain), and lo and behold, above the inviting "Country Girls on The Parm" (Not my mispelling I might add, unless it's not a mispelling and is a short for Parmesan ) what the hell was I talking about in the first place? Cheese; no, turds. I've totally lost track my mind is filled with the image of naked women on a thin and crispy base with slices of pepperoni covering their nipples...did I just write that I thought I was thinking that. It's a rotating pizza base in case you were wondering and its a flat rather than vertical rotation otherwise they'd fall off. Sorry my recent lack of drugs and alcohol is steadily increasing my mania levels so you'll have to bear with me, or you can bare with the ladies if you like (I am aware that they don't exist by the way; obviously ladies exist otherwise half of the people on this email list are actually figments of my imagination. What else does one have figments of, I won't say that I've always wondered, cos I'd be lying, and apparently that's bad according to Bob the dead cat in my sock drawer. Anyway the point is...I never had a point as it goes, some of you may find that surprising, all of you have legs.); almost forgot to close me brackets, how remiss that would have been. Obviously any non existent ladies will not be receiving this message so the whole bracket thing is by the by for you guys...I suppose the rest of it is as well. In fact I think that the whole thing is by the by (bybiddybyby) for anyone, anywhere, except the figmented, imaginery pizza ladies, which just possibly might be the point! HA I knew there was a point to this whole, whole, whatever. Send in the clowns.

from smokinkudzu :

Funny shit. I'm a biology grad student, ya know, which means I'm all tough and scientific around bugs and spiders. But, the cicadas are out now, and yesterday, one flew into my fuckin' ear on my walk to school, at a major instersection, and I swear to God every person in the school was there. There I was, squealing like a little bitch and swatting at my head, while doing a stupid jump and wiggle dance. "Hello, my name is Cory. I'm a 26 year old man, and I squeal when cicadas fly in my ear." Gee Fuckin' Whiz. At least I wasn't nekkid, though.

from elvisload :

i'd let you list me but ur such a bonehead...

from athryn :

I like porn as much as the next guy but wtf is it with your site dammit!!!??? I keep getting sent elsewhere.

from dooki :

wow...that's probably the most amazing story I've ever heard...arcing projectile poo from your dog. I might have a saving grace for you though. There is a cleaning product that I use constantly, and yes, it works on feces...don't ask me how I know this. It's called Greased Lightning. Cheesy as shit, I know, but it works. You should be able to find it, and it will kill the stank from your inconsiderate pooch. Good luck cleaning that shit up dude.

from dooki :

Yeah, when people do shit like that, I just start violently masturbating. They usually don't have much to say to me after that. Maybe you should slit your wrists and bleed all over the fence that separates the two of you, signifying the fact that you do not want to converse with him. I don't know.

from smokinkudzu :

yeah, people suck in general. one time, i worked at chick-fil-A at the drive thru and i had about 50 people a day specify, "That's to go!" no fucking kidding, assholes. coffee shops scare the bejesus out of me. i must know exactly what i want when i go in because once the person asks me what i want, i dont want to be THAT GUY who stands there and looks up at the menu for about four days before asking if they have decaf.

from dooki :

Ok, so I think you're going on my favorites. I know all about the butt cheese. Moisture just shouldn't be allowed in your crack. It's just not fucking right. i'm with you on the mommy dearest issue. i think my mom is on husband #6 now, but who cares. Fuck her. Thanks for being another honest writer here. I'm not the only one now. PRAISE YOU! dook.

from meeshapeesha :

I love the weekend at white trash bit. I never tip more than 15% cause i'm just a cheap bitch. Your diary gave me a good laugh, thanks!

from sugar-tooth :

What can i say? Funny fucking bastard! No offence. Was just skimming through diaries and ended up here. Had a good laugh, cheers!

from rivetergirl :

Chopping up stranger poop ... is it an analogy for the travails of daily life? No, it's fuckin' hilarious, that's what it is. Brilliant.

from betty-bo0p :

i had a day like that once. i just wanted to die. my bosy ached and my asshole felt like i had violated in the worst way. i'm such a cry baby when it comes to throwing up too! lol! it's probably just the stomache flu. that's what i had. i went to the doc the next day when i was fine and he gave ne tylonol 3 for the pain!lol!

from dooki :

I am pleased that you liked my diary enough to place me in the sacred "favorites" list. you are both a treasure and a tumor...a spinal tap to the fluids of sanity. Thank thee, for ye are truly the essential scent of my flatulence. Dooki is happy with corn meats.

from supababe :

lol i love your diary very funy ya my gold fish do that 2! ~ for good or for evil becky

from sugarts :

hey, i added you as a favorite yesterday. hope that's cool. and hope you don't rat a fellow rhody out. (i write behind my hub's back, you see.) i'm sacrificing a lot here, but you're *so* *damn* *good* i just had to favoritize ya.

from kristintracy :

i. am. honored. that you would favoritize me. rock. rage. release.

from kamikazesoul :

Damnit. Some "major error" happened at 250free.com (my image hosting) so my background isn't showing up either. I feel your pain. Though, they said it would be back up by today... Hopefully. xoxo

from andnowwhat :

hey, your guestbook won't let me sign... what did I do to offend it? The speak button doesn't want me to say anything.

from kamikazesoul :

try 250free.com, I host all of my images there, and they're pretty reliable. xoxo

from mistresslink :

thanks for joining the mercedes lackey ring :)

from finglunatic :

Hey! I'm so glad I found you! Been missing your writing, woman. . .I'll add you to my faves list under the new & improved, 'k?

from andnowwhat :

For the love of God, don't try to format a manuscript in Word, with page numbers and headers and chapters and all that. Just really really don't. Unless you are REALLY looking for the ultimate exercise in frustration.

from thedailywtf :

I make myself laugh until it hurts. Then I apply the anti-itch cream like the doctor told me.

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