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messages to dangerspouse:
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from moosehunter :
I'm guessing you never check this these days, DS, but just lettin' you know that some of us still occasionally check to see if you've posted crazyness. Cheers, Moosey.
from poolagirl :
Jeeeze! You actually dropped in to say hello! I am.....flattered!
from hcatty :
...*sigh*... what a sad waste of all that lovely planning. Hope your Christmas turns out far better ;)
from warcrygirl :
I love a man who knows how to really flip the bird! Bird...blowjob...it's all good, right?
from awittykitty :
You forget to say whether you're wearing any clothes when you flip the bird. Ha! Just kidding. Sorry those bastards ruined your Turkey Day. That totally sucks. Hope you were able to make it up somehow over the weekend, since it sounds really delicious. :-)
from hissandtell :
Well, I guess that makes NewWifey(tm) the Head Gobbler in your house this Thanksgiving. Love, R xxx
from ship-jumper :
Happy TDay to you! So sorry you had to go into work. But when can I come over for that belated turkey feast? My GAWD it sounds soooooo good! I swear if you were a woman I would have to think about having an affair. I've done the brine salt soaking, and it really is amazing. Never flipped the bird on its sides though. Going to have to try that next time!
from lumenatrix :
A dangerspouse entry! It's a Thanksgiving Miracle! Well, enjoy your day as much as you can and spend any off air time preparing sweet revenge against the evil minion who ruined the best turkey ever. I hope you and New Wifey are well and happy. :)
from brightopal :
Darn. So the Thanksgiving turkeys aren't all consigned to the oven, I see. Some of them work in large-market radio. I hope he's properly roasted before it's all said and done.
from theratqueen :
So, what delightful plans of revenge are in the works for your errant *sick* fill-in? Personally, I'd string him/her up by the toes and proceed to prepare him/her as you would have prepared your turkey. But that's just me.
from im2qt2kr :
An entry from "dangerspouse" just made my Thanksgiving complete. Happy Gobble Day my friend.
from hcatty :
... so what ever happened to the cup of air? DUDE! We missed you! Do you realize that your previous entry was FEBRUARY SECOND? And this one was OCTOBER FIRST? ... That's like... *counting on fingers*... nine months! I could've had a BABY, man!!!
from warcrygirl :
Good lord, I'm surprised you didn't end up typing your blog entry lllliiiikkkkkeeee ttttthhhhhiiiiisssss.
from hissandtell :
Oops, that would be with a SOCK stuffed in his mouth, not a SICK. (Which, of course, is a teensy Freudian slip for, "You fucking bastard! You've ruined my whole life!") x
from hissandtell :
It's ALIVE! Hey, pantless and alive -- AND with a sick stuffed in his mouth -- oh, swoon! My favourite kind of man! Love, R xxx
from shortst101 :
Hey Hey, it was great to see your name lit up here when I logged in today. Glad to know you are still your usual crazy self. Miss our morning chats.
from brightopal :
You almost had me - until you mentioned "tea" and "sugar" in the same context. Like you, I have a well-nourished loathing for coffee, preferring tea. But only a philistine would mix sugar with tea. Then again, I might ultimately forgive you, since you didn't technically mix them...
from ship-jumper :
Oh my gawd, my favourite perverted hunk beauty is back!! I've missed you!! Thank god for sugar water to get you to post again! Stay strange, but don't be a stranger. Mwah!! Shippie (bucket)
from fifidellabon :
Whoooaaahhhh! Duuuuuude! XOFifi
from awittykitty :
You do realize that we're waiting for the photos now, don't you. And don'tcha think the Menudo thing is a little gay? Just saying....
from poolagirl :
It's about time you showed up, you big goofus! And just for you, I will make sure I stock the MEGA rolls of toilet paper. Just in case you come visit me.
from brightopal :
I'm realizing that your last entry was JANUARY. It's now AUGUST. DUDE. You're really falling down on the job. I'll go kick your butt on the other site since I know you're not reading here :-p
from ship-jumper :
WOW. What a great entry...but a horrific experience!! I did almost pee my pants when I read that NewWifey's vagina bit you!!! Only you my friend, only you! buckey
from nogooddaddy :
Me: (Driving on the Parkway in blinding sunlight) You: (On the radio) It's hazy with a chance of afternoon sun Open a window and look outside you fuck
from cosmicrayola :
Wow, I almost missed this. It is now 02/17 and Somehow your name came off my buddie list. I must have given up on you the last time I cleaned out the list. No problem, I'll put you back now. Wow, that entry reminded me of another one where your NEW WIFEY (TM) had to come the the rescue of the dog. I thinkk she had to use pliers then too. Glad to hear you're alive!
from hcatty :
Ooh! One more thing. Sorry about the multiple messages lol but you have... like... a TON of music, right? All kinds of stuff. Ever heard of BeeCake? They're from Scotland, and they've got some pretty awesome music. If you do know them, great, if you don't. DUDE. Look 'em up.
from hcatty :
Awww. You're just absolutely precious! (Don't worry. I won't tell a soul.) You don't have to knock off the ... ya know... stuff. It's part of your charm lol. You liked the video, huh? I WAS a little worried that my singing would come across... I dunno... chipmunk-ish. Teehee.
from hcatty :
It's the darnedest (is that how you spell it??) thing. You tell a story, and I actually SEE it playing out in my head. Every minute detail... except the sex parts. Like those smutty romance novels I read, I just skim through the sex parts... What was I saying?? Oh yeah! You shoulda kept the bunny and made stew LOL It was a GIFT from Gloria!
from hissandtell :
Hmmm ... for some reason, I'm reminded of the words of wisdom a sage old bloke used to give my husband when J was a callow young swain courting his cute little girlfriends: "You start off thinking you can eat it; if you're not careful it ends up eating you." (Mind you, this same wise old bloke also used to regularly trap J deep down in the bowels of engine compartments of the heavy earthmoving machinery they were fixing together and inflict long-winded raucous alcohol-binge farts on him too, so perhaps there's not necessarily something in that for all of us. Although you're possibly very fortunate that neither the bunny NOR NewWifey(tm) have taken THAT particular little leaf out of his book of wisdom [I assume].) Love, R xxx
from warcrygirl :
I forgot about your notes dude; I tried to leave you a message at your guestbook and it didn't work. At least she didn't boil the rabbit, that would be freaky.
from nogooddaddy :
Fuck, dude...you're right on for the way NJ looks. Could the weather up here have been any bleaker this week? The rabbit part made me nearly choke. I'll have to tune you in tomorrow on the way to work. Still where you used to be I assume?
from shortst101 :
always love seeing your name lit up saying you have put an entry here. Yes, I still read even if I don't write. Hugsssssssssss
from brightopal :
You know, it COULD be that the kamikaze avian was in fact aiming for you, merely retreating to regroup and make another attempt. After all, you do seem to have a way with birds. Witness the Vulture Incident of a while back. I'm just sayin'
from wench77 :
Thanks for the note! oooo! a new post! I'll have to find time to come and read it. An email? Dang, I am sure I have your addy around somewhere. All is fine, though a bit hectic, with the kiddo, snow and icepellet falls, doggie, trying to fit in some work. maybe take down the xmas tree... ;D hugs to you and the wifey!
from nilliem :
Ouch. That's all I got today! Hope all is well (other than the obvious) with you and yours!
from her-story :
Well, at least SOMEWHERE in New Jersey shit is happening. I'm bored with N.W. Jersey... wanna trade? And, uh, I hate to say it, but... that's what you get for walking your cat. *grins* Glad to see you survived...
from awittykitty :
oh my God. That's like an episode on "Animal Planet Gone Wrong", as hosted by Christopher Walken or something. I am so glad Gloria was ok. You? You can heal. But kitty hor-douerves are irreversable.
from wench77 :
Dang, if I knew you were still writing entries, I'd visit Diaryland more often! Funny as hell, as usual. thanks! Happy new year to you and New Wifey. Hope her girl bits are doing better and she has a healthy year! Hi to your wonder dog too!
from fifidellabon :
Happy New year! /Fifi
from jcelyn :
Welcome back DP! It's so great that NewWifey is feisty as ever and a posting from you is like an early Christmas present. And I'm Jewish!
from nilliem :
damn, man....I'm crying/laughing here!! I need more!! Missed you...good to know you are breathing East Coast air, and bringing humor with you.
from shortst101 :
No matter how long it is between your stories, it still makes me laugh! Miss our chats in the morning. Merry Christmas!
from brightopal :
Welcome back to the Diaryland - about damned time, too! Glad to hear that NewWifey survived her repeat expedition up Mt. Surgery and is finally on the mend. I can only imagine how bad you felt to be so inconvenienced ;)
from awittykitty :
Hey, we have an Applefest up here too. And there's always mud up to your ass. I'll send you the date for next year. Truth is I just want to see your sexhay ass dressed in a garbage bag.
from haloaskew :
Why do I have a funny feeling Wifey KNEW VERY WELL it would rain that day? The flip-flops were a dead giveaway. HA!
from poolagirl :
Glad to see you are back in the saddle (the writing saddle - not so sure I want to know about the other saddles in which you perch things). Also glad you like apples and sewing. My boss is married to a woman who manages a fabric store. See, it could be worse!
from warcrygirl :
"Let's go" she said into my ass. I farted, she screamed, and we took off. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I love you, man. So, what kind of pies will you be making?
from hissandtell :
Hey, Thomas -- I was thinking about you ALL LAST NIGHT after J and I watched Part One of the (new for us) BBC series "Three Men in a Boat" where Griff Rhys-Jones, a mad Irishman called Dara, a cormorant-crazy chap called Rory and a nervous dog named Loli rather foolhardily attempt to recreate Mr Jerome's Edwardian idyll in a skiff. (And while I don't recall an encounter with David Gilmour in the original book, I daresay he might have been contemporaneous even then...) Love, R xxx
from lumenatrix :
Hey there Danger, just want to drop a note to say hi and that I hope you and New Wifey are ok.
from portia12 :
How are you and the wifey doing?
from poolagirl :
Ah shit! I didn't mean to write to you as the dogs. Complete your leap of faith and know it was me, okay?
from tuckandsophi :
I don't watch TV, DangerMan. Too busy being a pirate and updating Diaryland. Sorry about the North Korean thing. I just HATE when that happens!
from brightopal :
And finally we have the corroborating evidence to the killer-vulture adventure so many doubted before: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070503/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_spain_vultures;_ylt=Ap3YKORbvkM0vfejmagY6GjtiBIF
from jcelyn :
I'm so happy to see a new post(who cares if it's polished)and to find out that New Wifey is doing OK. Booze and pills and government agents. Oh My!! ;)
from happyyet :
Um, the Virgina Tech shooting happened in VA... a Korean student was the gunman. Also, yeah, Korean women are totally hawt.
from nilliem :
Darlin'! Good to know you and yours are well. Now, if I could just watch the Chill's here....hehe. By the way, less long is ok...just be sure its girthy, k'????
from portia12 :
You had me laughing aloud a good few times. You're so bad. :D Sending get well wishes to New Wifey!
from nogooddaddy :
Welcome back, faggo
from amberstone :
Well there you are, stranger! Too funny on the story; lol! Dan and I were just yakking about you guys the other day, worried about New Wifey. Don't wait so long to update next time *scolds* ;) Oh and I'm blogging again too. Such as it is. :)
from chakra-chick :
Gawsh! I've missed you so much...unpolished entry or not-you're still the bestest! Good to hear that NewWifey is coming along well... ~smooches~
from awittykitty :
I always blame my pharmaceuticals for potentionally dangerous international events too. Glad New Wifey(tm) is on the mend.
from brightopal :
I'm the reincarnated Radiogurl. Long story of dumb moves that could outdo your escapades, even the vultures on steriods you encountered a couple of years back. Here's hoping NewWifey(tm) is back on her feet and semi-sober again soon. (I won't wish full sobriety on either of you. What's the fun of that???) Though the way I see it, Men In Black would make a great starting point for a script. Provided there was a writer in the family ;)
from sarkasmo :
I knew there was a reason I added you to Google Reader. "Just in case he updates," I told myself. "Just in case." Anyway, sending good healing thoughts to the missus for you. I had an aunt with colon issues a couple of years ago. I *so* wanted to get there before she woke up from surgery and stick a rainbow wig on her head. Maybe New Wifey(tm) would like that!
from her-story :
He lives? He LiVeS?!? HE LIIIIIIIIVES!!! (it sounds better when paired with the thundering music in my head) So, um... I thought you were talking about Harm (Jag?) I love em Harm. Yummers!
from xeroxjunkie :
Will you update already??
from beetilda :
Hmmmm, you haven't updated in 69 days. I'd say that's a nice place to start...divine even.
from nprmommy :
been out of the blogosphere for quite a while...hope new wifey is doing well...
from awittykitty :
How's NewWifey(tm) doing? Better I hope. Hope you're not doing anything too awfully dumb. Yours truly, witty.
from nogooddaddy :
Caught a traffic report this morning. Stop doing the weather...you told me is was cloudy. It was not. Then, after hearing your voice, I had to change my undies (blush)
from nogooddaddy :
Caught a traffic report this morning. Stop doing the weather...you told me is was cloudy. It was not. Then, after hearing your voice, I had to change my undies (blush)
from candoor :
news?
from foofarachi :
Hello Danger, I found the link to your diary through your profile in Delphi. In the last week, I have read it in its entirety. laundry all caught up!?-NO life?-enthralled?...you decide :*) I also joined Diaryland just so I could leave you this message. Many times in my life I have been touched by the benevolence of strangers and believe in passing it on. You now have at least one stranger keeping you and Dangerspouse in her thoughts and prayers. (((((((((((despised Delphi hugs)))))))))))))
from lumenatrix :
Hi Danger, I hope Wifey is doing well and that y'all had a happy, event free New Year.
from nixtress :
Happy New Year!!
from batten :
Oi Spouse! How's Wifey? Let us know, okay? Hope you managed to have a good Christmas. Here's hoping things will be better in the New Year. Big hug to you both. -J
from tuckandsophi :
Dang! Take care - both of you! I need you on my crew!
from nixtress :
Happy Holiday wishes to you and your wonderful Wifey. :)
from wickedcrazy :
I hope she's ok. I'll say a prayer. Cause you know that really works. People say "I'll pray for you" and honestly, they really do it, they're not just saying it to sound all caring and then God thinks "wow this is a person people pray for, I'd better help them" and then poof! you get all better. And unicorns come to your house to celebrate with presents full of elf dust and lollipops. Maybe I'll just hope for you then wait til you post a funny follow up about how everything is ok.
from accentjunkie :
I go into reculsive hiding and this is what I come back to? Sending warm thought directly toward New Wifey's hole. . .the dread colon cancer runs in my family - I wouldn't be surprised if the long camera of intense discomfort ends up in my future someday. Seriously though - thinking of you guys this holiday season. . . I'm sure all is well and you'll be the only one shoving anything up there in no time.
from hissandtell :
Geez, mate. Quel bummer. I don't suppose this could have been caused by the excess pressure of hanging all those claw hammers and wood chisels off her tool belt, in a vain attempt to partially obscure her authentic tradesman's crack? Please give the feisty (if not fisty) darling my best; I'm glad to hear she's being such a big strong non-wussy bloke about it all. Love, R xxx
from goingloopy :
Ass cancer isn't funny. But maybe you just went at the alternate entry a little hard post-laparoscopy and rearranged things. Maybe next time you should use more lube, and perhaps Barry White instead of Barry Manilow. Seriously, though, I hope everything's ok in DangerLand.
from wench77 :
Dang she's just about as bad as them kids who don't have pain receptors or whatever, and bang themselves up all the time. (hey I saw it on some Dr. TV show) wow. Um, dang, I am like um, jokeless. I am rather sitting here stunned by the nearloss of NewWifey... I am still stuck with her sitting on the sidewalk refusing to get medical care while she had popped ovaries. Stunned. Whack her over the head for me for that eh? Best of luck with the bowels. I hope you have a shitty Christmas, in all the correct and painless ways!
from haloaskew :
Didja hear the one about the Pope, the rabbi, and the colon? Um...no, wait. Here we go: So the colon walks up to bar...No, never mind. I'm all tapped out on colon jokes tonight, dude. But seriously, I'm sure it will turn out to be nothing more than a gerbil from her experimental days. Hell, it could be Lemiwinks! (Didja see that South Park episode?) Anyhoo, NewWifey probably just has some normal blockage. Nothing a power washer (with a nice vibe) can't fix. On the off-chance it's something more serious, she's tough as nails and you guys will get through this. Try not to worry. Easier said than done, I know, but you might as well worry about how you're gonna spend your lottery winnings while you're at it, right? Or her life insurance payout. OHHHHHHHH! I am evil. But there you go. Ha. hoo. At any rate, try to enjoy the holidays and not dwell. What's the point? She is going to be FINE. I don't know why I know it, but I do. I'm sending her all my well wishes. And to you, strength in those moments you need it the most. Keep us posted, bud. You know, there's a reason all these folks keep you on their buddy list, even though you don't post for months. We love ya, you make us laugh, and even though we've never met you, we care. {{{Hugs and kisses}}}} Holler if you need to talk, you hear?
from nogooddaddy :
Good luck dude. Are you still on 710? I never hear you anymore. What am I supposed to beat it to in the morning?
from nilliem :
Sending happy healthy thoughts your way. Lots and lots of them. Tell New Wifey this one: "What's all the fuss about endangered feces? That's outrageous. Why is feces endangered? How can you possibly run out of such a thing? And besides...who wants to save THAT, anyway? ~ Gilda Radner as Emily Litella http://home.earthlink.net/~tmwa/page7.html More on that page, heh
from sunshine0221 :
Crossing fingers and toes that NewWifey is just fine.
from beckers-j :
Wow, I'm so sorry. I hope everything turns out okay. I'd say that I'd keep you both in my prayers, but I'm not the praying type. So I will keep my fingers crossed. And my toes. I really, really hope it's nothing serious.
from shortst101 :
Hey, hope all will be okay with New Wifey. You can't live without her! Hugssssssss
from veralynn :
Damn, man!! Best of luck to new wifey. That sucks. As for humor as you wait for her next medical adventure, may I suggest the anal probe episode of South Park? ;)
from batten :
Oh hell... Hang in there, babe. You and New Wifey. We'll be thinking healthy thoughts her way. Keep us posted, okay? Big hug to you both. -J
from chakra-chick :
Glad you've finally decided to update...pity about NewWifeys' medical woes---hopefully this time it will also be OK. Best of luck...I'll be holding thumbs for you both.
from beetilda :
Hey, good luck to New Wifey(tm) and your fine self as well. Hey, at least you got to do the distillery tours! We did that this Spring, and Miss B has now an impressive collection of bungs. (Why does work suddenly spring to mind with that sentence?
from xat :
Dear heavens...though I suppose it'll curtail the depredations of the xmas blow-up lawn ornaments. I'll keep everything crossed, including my spleen, that it all turns out okay. **X
from joiedv :
Oh lordy, give her a big hug and kiss. I hope she is okay. Good luck.
from sarkasmo :
My aunt had colon cancer (and won) last January. After she came back from surgery, but before she woke up, we put a rainbow wig on her head. I'm not sure how funny she thought it was, but we all cracked up.
from ursamajor :
Best wishes for a non-cancerous ass...
from jcelyn :
Hope New Wifey is feeling better. Remind her to salute the Rear Admiral and don't tell her that I wound up with a dislocated shoulder when I had a colonoscopy. Or maybe you should...it's funny as long as it's happening to someone else! Take care of yourself, too. OK?
from outfoxed :
Good lord man, you're sending bits of your N'Wy off via UPS ground?? I showed this to my wife and got an immediate dispensation, two kitchen passes and a $50 bill to spend at the hooter joint. I'm perfectly willing to ship a new-in-box (Fed-Ex, next day) Milwaukee Hole-Hawg to her if she'll promise to dress you in brown shorts and carry a towel in your hip pocket for the next 6 weeks. And yeah, she'll know what a Hole-Hawg is, and she'll by God want one. Send shipping instructions stat, man in brown truck.
from warcrygirl :
Oh sweet jaysus! Hope NewWifey is back to normal soon (normal being a relative term, mind you). Hey, at least her testicles didn't swell up to the size of tennis balls! Not that I have testicles but I know someone who does. Much love and wooden nipples!
from nixtress :
Ack! I suppose that's a very good reason, indeed, to be gone so long. Big hugs to both of you.
from awittykitty :
Sorry to hear about all the medical mayhem for wifey(tm). This may fall under the bad joke category, but since its you Dangerspouse... The last time I had a colonoscopy, the nurse later told me that while they were doing the procedure and I was about 75% knocked out, I was rambling on and on about how I wanted them to do a reality show called "This is witty's asshole". Anyhoo, fingers crossed for good news.
from radiogurl :
Good grief. There's the one about the old man whose colon ruptured. When he told the doc about it, the doc said he was full of shit...
from lumenatrix :
Hey there dangerboy, just wanted to wish you a happy (late) Thanksgiving! I hope all is well in Dangerhouse and that your feast went off without a hitch... for once. :)
from nixtress :
Have a great Thanksgiving!! We miss your updates :(
from chakra-chick :
Tom, where are you hiding? I miss you man!
from sixxgunn :
Dude.. you're fuckin' funny. Thanks for the laughs!
from moosehunter :
Heya DS. Sad though it is, I keep updating too regularly to be very insteresting, but I'm starting to get to the point where I don't look up to see if you've written anymore... Half of Yorkshire's waiting on your next episode matey, and I notice an awful lot of 'where are you' notes here too. Have Casey the Wonder Corgi and NewWifey TM finally decided they didn't need you any more and buried you under the patio? If that's the case, don't answer me... Moosey
from sparklybecca :
Hi, 0069! Long time no read. After my depressingly short stint in a relationship, I pulled my covers up over my head. I think I can face the light of day again without falling back into the pit. Hope life is treating u and wifey well. Ta ta for now.
from natek9 :
Hey Danger... I haven't seen a column from you in ages. What happened.. did your typewriter break?
from mnlady1962 :
Come back!! Your life can't possibly be as boring as MINE and I still manage to update everyday. So, give us a break here!!!!
from shortst101 :
Ok, so what's happened to you?
from her-story :
Ah hem... que es DANGERSPOUSE, eh?
from moosehunter :
Almost a month since my last Dangerfix!!! I'm going cold turkey man and starting to shake. What's going on in the world of DS at the moment then? Moosey
from mehiel :
Hey, I locked up. If you're curious, the username is "mata," the password is "hari."
from mrscoble :
The question that's really on my mind: Who did Babs pay for your boob job? I want some sexy titties like that for myself.
from tuckandsophi :
We are flying out to visit Casey. Please chain yourself in the yard.
from nmnohr :
That was the most genuine comment that I think you've ever left. I do appreciate the fact that you still got the cheap beer comment in there though. Thanks for the comment, it was really genuine. Are you feeling ok? Heh, kidding. How've you been?
from candoor :
I love you cuz I have to make everything ok, or something like that... sure, you add me and I shrink up like a scrotum in an ice bath, but I am basking in the glory of being added you your illustrious list, really I am... and soon there'll be a dozen or two entries dedicated to you, or at least a few dozen entries that have been waiting for me to have time to upload cuz, for better or worse, I do still write almost every day... and you, you don't even have to write, you get people who hate you to write entries for you... that is talent... well, I hope you enjoy your good fortune and keep your balls in the air...
from veralynn :
You'll never get the Sesame Place gig now. Not unless you're willing to dress up as Big Bird. (I know, not again!)
from hcatty :
.... so did she have a hand in the culinary expertise or was that natural talent? ;)
from skinnylizzie :
Well hello there again! Yeah, sorry about the babble, it's still a sore point...I would indeed still bite his bottom because I'm a sucker for a hot man..oh God, now I have bottom biting on the brain again...
from realsnoopy :
Boredom! Hey, how did you find me. i don't think we share any readers??/
from mnlady1962 :
Babs is my hero!
from awittykitty :
Why did I momentarily cringe when I saw the name "Babs" and the word "stalker"? Guilty conscience I guess. I do think you owe "Babs" a little Dangerspousian nooner though. wink, wink.
from twoozin8tor :
Ha! The greatest piece of non-fiction I've ever read!! Bravo, Babs! [and when I think of all the shit you give me about my stammering... I should kick your well-picked ass, Zitface. *kiss kiss*
from outfoxed :
Sherpa-T sounds like the night DJ at the Bodishatva Lounge.
from radiogurl :
You know, the world owes Babs something for her hand in the creation of the Dangerspouse juggernaut. Maybe a scotch. Maybe a firing squad. We'll let her know.
from poolagirl :
There is an awfully long line of people who want you to be their next science project. I just cleaned out my refrigerator so I guess I have that one out of my system.
from oktoberfest :
I'm beginning to think you may be right about the yogurt sweet things. I'm seriously considering the merits of just eating them all in one 10 minute binge and then they're gone. Kind of like being bulimic but without the throwing up bit. Hmm. So not like being bulimic at all then. But yeah... thanks for stopping by!
from outfoxed :
I checked, and clicked, and my guestbook worketh just dandy, slim. I'd make a naked sugestion that you check your clicker-device du joir, but nekked and y'all are items best left for winter blogging. We like perky down here, yass'um, we do. But thanks for the congrats, and as a recent grampy, I'll have you know it feels just sizzling to have one hoof in the grave and another jammed in amongst my molars. Best, O'Foxed.
from geek-betty :
Thank you! I'd have to say that havingan actual motorcycle enthusiast that liked my story is a pretty big compliment!
from zencelt :
Bwahahaha! I may need that one day, when they hang down to my knees at 60ish...
from hissandtell :
You know, NewWifey(tm) might be on to something here. Have you considered selling life-sized photographs of yourself in full piratey mode to your devoted readers, so that we literary groupie-types might hold them over the faces of our paramours to fulfill our own (admittedly warped, possibly) little fantasies for 42-and-a-half-minutes or so? Love, R xxx
from zencelt :
Hey Asshole, let me clear something up. I will never conform to the Hollywood standard of thinness because it grosses me the hell out, and I enjoy my boobs too much to lose them. I just need to lose enough to reduce my blood pressure, ease up on the arthritis and stop waddling (kidding... a Zen never waddles), and eat healthy enough to lose the cholesterol meds. Thank you for caring though... Oh, and my dog would look damned cute in a roller skate.
from throat-smack :
I suck, what with my visible html. Dammit.
from throat-smack :
It's ok dear. Sometiems we all fall a little short. <p>...<p>Zing!
from chakra-chick :
Oh Tom darling...I would never lock you out on purpose! All you had to do was ask for the keys to unlock...I would gladly give it to you...
from mizlizzy :
Thanks for the encouraging note! I am officially a dangerspouse fan after reading your entries for over 2 hours now and several times laughing so hard that I sprayed Dr. Pepper on my keyboard... Thanks! :-)
from candoor :
ain't too proud to applaud you neither :)
from jcelyn :
Great to have you back...you were missed!
from zencelt :
Oh God, I just fell off my chair. Thanks for the note, and the belly laugh!
from acaldwell :
i knew that!! hehehe!!! as far as howard goes he can &*(&(*&&@@!!!! hisself!! i like imus, but im wierd like that! hava jolly roger weekend!!
from acaldwell :
im surprised that you dont know imus is on and in your own market!! WFAN!!! and whats wrong with imus? i betcha never have even listened!! nice pic of famous new wifey (TM) btw!! and FYI, i dont wear sneakers when i use the litterbox, thanky yous!!!
from veralynn :
Hee at $6 a pop, it'd suck me dry having a pina colada vacation of any duration. ;-) hee The cabins were EXCELLENT. There are a whole variety of them in various places in PA at varying sizes and levels of "rustic." Mine was the bare minimum and I just loved it. Plus: uber-cheap!
from wickedcrazy :
That was brilliant! Your wife is my new idol. Instead of trying to be sneaky and going reverse cowgirl so I can see the poster of Paul Newman as cool hand luke on my wall, I'm just going to lay the damn thing over T's face. To hell with subtlety.
from cosmicrayola :
Ok, I was born. I did shit. I am still alive. There. I saved you the trouble and a few bucks. That's about as annotated as it gets. And for the record, when I see your name pop up, I think of a ham. hehe.
from pinkytusk :
Nice to have you back.. PinkyT
from amberstone :
Hilarious, DS! I love reading you. :-)
from teacherlady2 :
Okay, the guestbook didn't work for me. This is what I tried to post: Your answer, while apparently requiring serious thought, smacks of jealousy, my dear dangerman. After all, my dog doesn't need a cookbook to get "lucky." Oh, what's that? That's right, it's the sound of my dog winning again.
from cosmicrayola :
Remind me not to invite you to MY book signing. So, your not going to buy my book, huh? At least you would have a different picture to look at. I think I'm cuter than the bacon.
from misspinkkate :
No kidding- god forbid we turn the lights off on the Empire State building, so people in Queens can EAT AND SHOWER. Now they're saying it might be MONDAY before everyone gets power back. And think of how long it'll take everyone to replace their food, figure out what electricals are broken, etc. What a mess, ConEdison!
from poolagirl :
Yes, your guestbook sucketh, but that's why you have your notes turned on too. Hey guy, thanks for your hilarious entry (as usual) AND your big shout. You are (how shall I say this....) a real sweetie pie.
from her-story :
OK... listen, I don't care about my goddamn dignity or my intellectual lack of internet saavy. Your goddamn guestbook won't let me post. Kick it or something! And, well, the SMOKE from the mountains didn't hit me YET silly because we aren't leaving til tomorrow...
from moosehunter :
DS, long time no hear, but the same for me too. If it's any consolation re: the hair, while at university, I got kind of Gothy for a while (no lace or white face paint or any of that shit, but into the music) and tried to dye my hair black. Sounds like you succeeded, however shiny. My hair turned one slight shade darker brown, but I turned my face, hands and bathroom blue! Also, a friend who was a German through and through and had blond hair tried to dye it black and his went a sort of sickly hospital-patient green for a month. Ah the heady days of hair colouring. Now I just let it go grey gracefully. What's the weather like in Dangerland at the mo? Here it's goddamn hot! Moosehunter
from radiogurl :
Hey, babe, I hope you kept that book around. We could substitute for the paper bag, ya know? How ever, black patent leather hair doesn't faze me. I've been married to a man from Arkansas.
from her-story :
Your goddamn guestbook sucks monkey teets. Fix it, will ya? I can only rewrite my post three times before I give up. This will be three. And, I extended it past ONE time for you because you FINALLY posted something (irony #1: I leave you a message and you respond. Me thinks you are a trained circus monkey.) Ok... First of all, "experienced" virgins? Dude, what planet are you on? Second, Poolie slapped you with a fresh carp by calling you one UGLY pirate on her video (hehe... go poolie go poolie) and that's the making of a severe Jerry Springer moment (though, I think you have to be related, sleeping together, and slapping each other with shit first before being even remotely considered for a spot on his show... if its still on the air... *shrugs*) Third... this is a combo-one. Dyed black hair on a Sicilian... and it didn't MATCH? What part of Sicily is your family from? Grecian formula?? And, I don't blame the wife for nearly mounting Tyler Florence. He's cute... AND can cook... and, say, if he wants to come show me how to cook at MY house... he'd get red carpet treatment... and probably my father gushing and diving over shit to shake his hand... I guess what I mean to say is that if my dad was a woman, he'd want to mount Tyler Florence as well. Good to hear from you again... its been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time coming!
from xeroxjunkie :
Holy shit. He rides again.
from awittykitty :
You're so easy, Dangerspouse. So, so easy. signed another Irish girl who likes easy Italians.
from warcrygirl :
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG, here I am laughing my ass off, making the very sound I've typed out in all caps, trying to explain to my kids why I'm laughing. Usually me just saying "Funny words" makes them leave me alone as the oldest isn't the best reader and The Captain can't read at all yet. I can't let Hubby read this or he'll start coming home from work with 8 x 10 glossies of the Weasley Twins...
from danddteacher :
Have we lost you?
from nprmommy :
danger, danger, wherefore art thou, danger?
from nicim :
note from Arc-Angel666 in my diary. don't know if you heard yet. XXOO N
from shortst101 :
Just dropping in to say hello to my favorite morning radio personality. Well, you would be my favorite if I ever heard you on the radio. Ummmm, well okay how about your my favorite diaryland radio personality.
from hsiutime :
Hello! Sorry I didn't respond earlier; haven't checked my notes page in a while. Trust me, I was terrified it was Bird Flu as well, but luckily it has passed and I am still alive. There is dental insurance in Japan - I guess the process of getting to the denist and trying to explain around the language barrier is what puts me off the whole thing. Anyway, you have a very nice diary. Next time I'm in New York, I'll think of you reading the weather AND traffic. Oooh...
from candoor :
you are such a lucky SOB... of course you have paid your dues and deserve every bit of the goodness you get, but still, lots of people have paid their dues in many ways and haven't put themselves in the right place at the right time... and no wonder I'm not onn your buddy list, what with hissy being every other listing or so... but then, she deserves it too, being she's paid her dues and is one lucky DOB... wishing you many luxury filled retreats from the daily whippings... I prefer NCAA college football, myself :)
from radiogurl :
Hey almost-as-ugly-as-me, someone posted on your forum, saying put up or shut up. You want to leave the forum as is, or kill it?
from atoutlemonde :
Thank you. Here's hoping.
from mehiel :
Wedding photos are up!
from mrscoble :
Well, I think I've just proven the theory that you might be a weenie. I never said I hated you. You just broke my wee little heart is all. It's okay, because it's small and mostly cold. Buck up, big man. Surely all of your maleness wasn't wasted on farming body hair.
from mehiel :
Also, thank you for that wonederful comment on my Catholicism entry. It took a long time to write, and reading your comment made me feel validated in having expended so much effort.
from mehiel :
Hey, you can now officially test the "hot bride" theory. The dress has arrived and photos are up!
from nprmommy :
you must have been drunk when you wrote that.....
from nprmommy :
dear, sweet, naive dangerspouse.....it is SO obvious you have no children....i'll invite you to my house, and you can work two part-time jobs, clean the house, do laundry, make meals, drive the kids to and from school, and then between 3:30 and 8:30 help with homework and guitar lessons, drop one child off at practice, then drop the other child across town at his practice, then drive back to pick up the first child from practice, then drive back across town to pick up the second child from practice, go home and fit in the last of the homework, dinner, and baths. can i pencil you in for next wednesday?
from mrscoble :
That's it. It's like you took my copies of all my Kevin Smith movies and just PISSED on them. I'm going to go cry and eat a half gallon of Blue Bunny vanilla ice cream, and hope you were just joking, and that you'll apologize in the morning. What a horrible, horrible way to end what I thought would be a perfect day. You're a terrible old man, and you made a sweet little girl cry. I hope you're happy now!
from veralynn :
It wasn't GIVING one I missed...it was GETTING one! :-)
from ursamajor :
Illusion? Lies, I say! You just blew so MANY of my long-held beliefs. I bet my local traffic guy in the helicopter isn't really even in a helicopter, is he? IS HE?!
from beckers-j :
Geeeez, I don't think I'd be able to bite my tongue after taking an on-air beating like that. Then again, I don't know what your paycheck looks like. ;) Also, do you ever watch that horrible Sam Champion - the CopperTone baby all grown up? He's the most annoying weather guy ever.
from danjerus :
. . . and now all you need to do is learn the difference between "comments" and "notes".
from moosehunter :
Well hey. I always thought weathermen made it up anyway. If I had a single shred of evidence that British meteorologists had ever done anything other than buy the Usborne Big Kids Book of Weather and then jammed a pin in it with their eyes closed I would be shocked. But since we once had a weatherman here who screwed up so much worse, your faux-pas is belittled by comparrison. Michael Fish received a phone call while on air on TV from a distraught housewife who'd heard a rumour that a hurricane was headed to the south of England. He reassured her that would not happen and a few hours later Britain was hit by a hurricane that caused millions of pounds of damage and was the worst we'd seen in nearly 4 centuries. You see. You got off lightly. Anyway, how's the weather now, and how's it going to be for the weekend? We're going to the Yorkshire Moors for the weekend... Moosey.
from warcrygirl :
Hey you, you won the button! Email me a mailing addy and I'll get it off to you this week. Congrats!
from katlitter :
hi! just found your message in my guestbook, which I check once every six months, on average. I have no idea how that guy made it to Central Park barefoot, but I do know this, we were having strawberry cheesecake ice cream that night! I will try not to leave out such scintillating details in the future! ...psst, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?
from mehiel :
Comments? Where? :P At least you get paid handsomely for reading the same thing over and over. I hear that Bush's press secretary just got fired for doing exactly that.
from danddteacher :
Supposedly I have a good poker face - except I don't know how to play poker. But I must be a really convincing actor, because I'm always the one in the group who makes the inconceivable seem conceivable. I'm the one who makes people buy the lie. Go figure.
from nprmommy :
i always say the worst part of my job is announcing the weather....i want to just hang a dart board with various weather conditions on the wall, and shoot a few darts to come up with the forecast. it would probably be just as accurate. and our studio is in a basement with no windows. i tell my husband "if you hear me say 'mostly sunny,' and you look out the window and it's pouring rain-- call me and clue me in!
from acaldwell :
over here in the land o' morman, we have a weatherman who spends 20 minutes talking about rain and floods. he loves the snow and rain, and has a white blazer he wears when he wants it to snow the next day. well the next day it was 70!~! hahahaaa!!!
from ms-do :
A Whipping Boy you say?......evil grin..... Ok pick your switch boy!!
from yeahimadork :
How does one go about joining the Dangerspouse fan club? And do we get an autographed photo of you in said Tasmanian devil boxers? I don't pay attention the weather guys on the radio, because they're all just talentless hacks, anyway. ;)
from awittykitty :
Upstate we have a orange CAT on our local news who predicts the weather and does a fine damn job...Oh, and p.s. we don't really care if you can predict snow or not sweetie, we really just want to see a picture of you in your Tasmanian boxers. :-)
from nogooddaddy :
I froze my nuts off at the Mets game on Tuesday of last week. The snow that morning was a nice touch. And, you also were wrong about the hail storms in Raleigh on Monday. HEY...If I can hear you down here, I expect accurate weather for ME.
from poolagirl :
Just admit it! You radio guys are the ones who caused all this freakin' global warming shit!
from danddteacher :
When I was on a spring break trip back in my college days we convinced one of the girls in our group that the greyhound racing down in Florida was actually where they race greyhound buses. She bought it hook, line, and sinker!
from sarkasmo :
What the christ? I thought your comment on my blog about the bunny was tasteless (oh-so-), and then I read your story about the exploding poopdog. And now it's time to meet Dad for breakfast. >:(
from marinka-mp :
LMAO it sounds like a good idea
from lesbfriends6 :
You would make an excellent promoter for the werewolves on ice show! Have a good one!
from bitterwineuk :
Lol. Just goes to show how many US diaries are on here when I pick up the lingo. Hahahaha, oh well, Tally ho young chap. Chops Away.....
from mehiel :
Thank you for such a lovely comment! It really made my day. And yes, I am already in talks with Hiss about a tiara. :P
from warcrygirl :
Hey you! The Snarky 80's Button Poll is now up. Good luck!
from beckers-j :
Thanks for the get well wishes. And how much do you happen to know about having sex on NyQuil? :)
from pinkytusk :
dude!! sorry! how the hell do i take it off!?? it's there b/c i used to have the gold membership but i didn't renew it. Ok Ok.. i'll figure it out!! BLAH!!!!!
from talktomuch :
Read your St. Patricks/Shitty Day entry to the Hubby, now when we eat chicken he holds the bones up like he's about to toss them to the dog, then shakes his head and says we must learn from Dangerspouse. You are becoming quite the quotable fellow in my household, first the calling out 'Casey No' as you cast your fishing line and now the 'No Chicken Bones for the Dog' quips that are coming out. My family really enjoys your tales, while at the same time feeling great pity for your pup.
from captainron :
The generic stuff like happiness and fame are easy. Special orders take a little longer, but I'll see what I can do :-)
from cuddleslut3 :
awww thank you *so* much :) hope you are having a wonderful day
from mehiel :
Also, thank you for leaving such a nice note. :) I hope you do return soon!
from mehiel :
Actually, it was never published. We shopped it out, did query letters, the whole bit, but it didn't take. That really held me back for a while, but it's not going to do so, this time around. I know I can finish something major if I put my mind to it, and that's what I intend to do.
from postalpriss :
You're joshin' me right? Hey, who am I to discourage a gal from bringing back chivalry anyway??? haha Point taken. K
from mehiel :
That sounds disturbingly like an episode of "Farscape." Moving on. Even if you did have a shitty holiday, I'm glad the bones didn't break inside his intestines. The fragments are just like shrapnel, and they can shred up a stomach something fierce.
from awittykitty :
I'm so glad I read your listing bio first because I was going to say something about painting you naked and having to surpress my laughter about what I saw. Phew!
from f-i-n :
Poor doggy. Maybe you should've given him green beer instead of chicken bones.
from chakra-chick :
Your comment made me laugh...you're the best sweetie! Thanks for that so much. I think I really should consider the lesbian thing and don't worry, if I ever do---you will definately be the first to get photographic proof! By the way, you got a good recipe for deep fried ice-cream? It was absolutly divine and I would love to try and make it myself... Lovely day further to ya! ~smooches~
from awittykitty :
Oh like I would really give you a Supermodel's phone number. She'd probably end up either in traction or hideously disfigured by some stray fishing hook accident. No Dangerspouse...I think I shall protect the poor girl. p.s. Why am I STILL missing from your favorites list? You've already called me a slut and insulted my artwork. I think the initiation part should be about over, right? Sheesh.
from hissandtell :
Oh. See, my undertanding is that raw chicken bones are actually very good for dogs. What's not so good are the tweezers, jewellery pliers, nipple clamps, ropes, long leather strips, plastic surveying tape and other non-nutritive items which my omnivorous pica-pups also insist on stealing and eating. Those things tend to come out looking like, ah, misshapen Ben Wa balls and frequently require, ah, human digital intervention to, ah, oh never mind. Love, R xxx
from danddteacher :
It's actually a really cool trip. The state of NC sponsors this thing called NCCAT which provides 1 week seminars for teachers. You can pick ones that are related to your subject or completely off topic. It's more a renewal thing than a staff development thing. They have a campus in the mountains and one at the beach and usual the seminars are held there, but the one that I've gotten into is a broadway seminar so they're sending us to NYC for a week in August.
from mrscoble :
I'm concerned about your interest in the cleanliness of my grandmother's noony.
from trinity63 :
You learned a lesson smart ass:)
from trinity63 :
And....the lesson learned, do not feed the dog chicken bones:)
from nprmommy :
you are much more of a radio god than i could ever aspire to be! i identify with the lack of sleep, though. i'm the local host for morning edition, so i get into the station around 4am.....not nearly as bad as your former 1:30am, but it still leaves me sleep deprived. i really enjoyed reading about big-time radio. but it really makes me realize how hard it would be to go back to commercial radio after working at an npr station.
from hcatty :
Heeeyy! Coming from you, that's a compliment ;o) teehee
from nprmommy :
thanks for the enthusiastic comment and add as a favorite! i'm going to return the favor...
from skinnylizzie :
Hello! It's actually a bit complicated...involves many different people and a situation a couple of months ago...meh. I'm not much good at keeping secrets but this one I feel I have to keep or I could get a couple of people into a lot of trouble (and thank you...I never fail to be amazed when people actually read my brain vomit)
from xat :
How unnerving would it be to encounter chipper DMV/DEQ/MVA state government workers? It'd be a sign of the End Times, I'm certain. The other one is west coast drivers figuring out a four-way stop. Oy gevalt. **!X
from hcatty :
Just so's ya know... if you RSVP to the wedding invite I'm sending you, the ONLY bones in the entire building will be... well... you get the idea.
from daze-on-edge :
Next time you try the chicken with the dog... try RAW half frozen chicken quarter... NOT cooked anything chicken... Wild dogs never had cooked meat.LMFAO. Poor puppy. Doggy enema blegh, makes me ill just thinking about it.:p Daze
from her-story :
Uh, I, Uh, didn't get a snapshot of her skirt. Wanna know why? There isn't anything "tapable" in that skirt and I was shielding you from inevitable blindness and eventual gayness. Feel better? (I do a lil, thanks.)
from shortst101 :
LMAO..never know what kind of shit you will get yourself into!
from chakra-chick :
Geez...talk about a shit experience! Poor Casey---now I know never to feed my doggy bones...thank Casey for helping us find that out! Damn...all your hours and effort of slaving over a hot stove gone down the drain (or trash, whatever)---so sorry dear! Think a lesson is to be learnt here...no more going all out for St. pattys' day---stick with what NewWifey did---beer and TV! Have a lovely wee further sweetie! ~smooches~
from moosehunter :
Dear God! St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland and St Spouse drove the bones out of corgi. My St Paddy's day was so relaxed by comparison with only the barest traces of fecal matter...
from nilliem :
its sick, sad and gross...and I just can't stop laughing....I'm so sorry your St. Paddy's day has a curse...hee hee....ok, I need a tissue, I'm crying laughing here....
from so-charming :
Thanks for the welcome back! Just to clarify, hypomania is the correct word... it's a milder form of mania, the hypo prefix refers to the fact that it's "beneath" full-blown mania. It's kind of awesome, actually, unless you do stupid stuff in the throes of it. And I can't make any promises. LOL
from acaldwell :
i hope that soda bread was cooked all the way thru!~~!
from bluemeany :
Right, so, no chicken bones for puppy -- check. Thanks for taking one for the team, man!
from thedetails :
Poor Puppy! Your entry reminded me of the time when my Mom gave my Rhodesian Ridgeback the bone from a ham, and he swallowed it whole. I don't have to tell you what happened after that, because you just lived it yourself. And then there was the time that my mother in law's Jack Russel Terrier ate rat poison and I had to make it vomit, and it did vomit. All over me, the sofa and pretty much the rest of the house. All I'm saying is that I feel your pain.
from poolagirl :
For God's sake, man! Take exra care on Thanksgiving! No turkey bones! I once took care of a lab whose parents had fed him chicken bones the day before. I got him to the vet just in time - with punctured intestines. They saved him but it cost about $1,800. This could only happen to you. Your wife was smart to lock herself away with the beer.
from goingloopy :
Damn you for updating while I'm at work. I share an office. I'm new here. I had to do some massive fake coughing so I wouldn't have to explain what I was laughing at. I hope the puppy has stopped with the projectile pooping. I would suggest some Imodium, but that would probably result in another expensive trip to DangerVet. :)
from xat :
Ow! Ow! Ow! My abs hurt! Ow! There's snot running out of my nose, I've been cackling for 8.32 minutes and my neighbours are concerned about my sanity (not that they weren't before). Poor, poor corgistein. **!X
from danddteacher :
That has got to be THE FUNNIEST thing I've read in a long time!
from awittykitty :
St. POOPtrick's Day....hahahahaha. Ok. I'm done.
from veralynn :
Laughed myself silly. I shouldn't have read that entry at my desk where I had to struggle to stifle the laughter. Entries like that should come with a warning label. ;-)
from la-blue-eyez :
That poor dog! I laughed, and actually felt guilty for it! But then I realized... I was laughing at YOU!!! :) We had corned beef and cabbage on St. Patty's day, but no soda bred. So how about if we just pretend that your house and my house split the meal...?
from mrscoble :
Yeah... you see, there's a huge difference between wild dogs and Corgis, who have been domesticated for hundreds of years. Their far more tender when it comes to digestion than their less civilized counterparts. At least you didn't kill him... this time.
from cosmicrayola :
That poor dog! I imagine one day, I'll see your name in red and come in to find the following: "I couldn't take anymore. Dangerspouse finally pushed me too far. He's gone now, but my belly is full and NewWifey(tm) and I are dong just fine without him. It turned out he was right about one thing. Bones won't hurt you if you take amall bites and chew them very slowly. His jaw was a bit tough though....... Casey.
from beckers-j :
Oh, God. Yeah, I'd say that my St. Patty's day was WAAAAAY less shitty than yours. What a nightmare! And your poor dog! That's really unbelievable. And you know what else is unbelievable? That you give your dog Lorna Doone's! Any unwanted Lorna Doone's you may have should be shoved in the direction of my mouth - not your dog's. ;)
from lumenatrix :
Oh mah Lawd. Poor, poor Casey. I'm glad he's ok, but man, that is funny. Oh, and the trick to boiled cabbage? Boil it in the corned beef water and pull it out about a minute before you think you should. Then eat it with vinegar. Not dog poo, vinegar. That's where you messed up. ;)
from beckers-j :
Holy moly! That would have scared the bejebus out of me for sure. ;)
from la-blue-eyez :
Is this the part where I'm supposed to say "Yes Master"? :)
from beckers-j :
I didn't hear about the "terrorist attack/HazMat" exercise. When was that? That's pretty crazy, and I probably would have hit the roof, too.
from veralynn :
Mouth is watering. *So* need that recipe! :) The contest is on!
from la-blue-eyez :
Are you one of the voices in my head?
from zencelt :
Yeah, you're right. It was my fault. That big baggy t-shirt, sweat pants and old sneaks were pretty enticing. No, really! That's what the 5 dollar girls wear here on the boulevard.
from chakra-chick :
Oh Tom! Trust you to put a smile on my face and temporary forget all my worries! You're such a sweetie. Thank you for understanding about my fleeting moment of being a cheating skank...a girl has needs too, right? Have a lovely day further dear! ~smooches~
from hissandtell :
"Very sad", you say? Were not anyway! Were the Germans sad when they bombed Pearl Harbour? Hell no! Love, R xxx
from f-i-n :
those headphones look cold....
from misspinkkate :
Do not tempt me! Next thing you know I'll be eating ice cream everyday and weighing 5,000 pounds.
from jcelyn :
OMG!! You were Rick Forest?! Wow, that is so amazing!! Especially since I had never heard of him before.
from her-story :
Oh geez, I know you're teasing. Though, I am still sick. I need a lil TLC: Tea, Lemon and Cookies. *grins*
from zencelt :
OK. That comment deserves a resounding "Fuck You!" Thanks for the birthday greetings though. You aren't off the hook for Tuesday, BTW.
from malthus :
DS...in regards to the "Justin" page - if you look at the comment I write about, "...you can sample his pros here." The word "here" links to his blog page. His Diaryland address is jwinokur.diaryland.com. About the voice tape...write me at for_malthus@hotmail.com with any advice you may have on putting something together, as I have ZERO experience. I'm thinking about a voice DVD, with menus that link to a cover letter, resume, and all the voice clips you need to make your ears bleed. Ciao baby!
from pinkytusk :
haha.. my computer would probably crash!
from crazy4muffin :
Thanks for your note. For a pretty tough gal, this one really took the wind out of my sails. Your comments are right on the money; and I appreciate you saying it.
from her-story :
If I didn't like you, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself. So, considering you're still on my good side, I'll just laugh at you, in a moderately convincing way, and pretend you're really funny. Ya schmartass...
from beckers-j :
Aw, thanks for adding me. I'll try to have sex more often to keep you interested. ;)
from beckers-j :
"Feet have sole", huh? You're really somethin'. I'm adding you. ;)
from moosehunter :
Hi there matey. Just wanted to drop by and ask how the pirate trade was going? I presume you've switched to that lucrative career anyway, since the last note you left me started with 'Yar'. I scanned down for the words doubloon, lubber and scurvy dog, but couldn't find them. As we used to say about Moose T in our office, Avast behind!
from hissandtell :
That's Rick with a silent "P", right? Hey, congratulations on the new thingy, darling. Naturally, though, indubitably fine Dangerspouse buttocks and all large splashy advertising promos a la Carrie Bradshaw on a bus aside, I'm neverthless quite saddened by any "position" which restricts your opportunities to expose yourself in any capacity. (As, I'm sure, we all are.) Love, R xxx
from mrscoble :
It's okay. I married a redneck, too. I think he's insane. Who else walks on a jacked up toe and nearly loses it before seeing a doctor, only to have the nail ripped out, and insist that he must continue to do morning PT, even though it is against doctor's orders to do so? I mean, other than... well, um, never mind. I'll go back to my corner now.
from twoozin8tor :
"I am a Left Wing Liberal. Very left wing liberal." What are you talking about? You're fucking SATAN!! I mean, maybe you aren't actually fucking him... or her... then again, maybe you are... do. So. You're a liberal, huh?
from lumenatrix :
Oh my gosh, you're Magic! I got an A. :) Congrats on you return to an almost normal schedule, too. Oh, and stick to your liberal guns, my good man.
from beetilda :
Hello, Danger!! Always good to hear from you. By the way, I know what a petard is!
from beckers-j :
Congrats on the new job! Although I must say that I did happen to find bald-headed Natalie Portman sexy. ;)
from smedindy :
Aw, now, it's not a Brokeback Mountain kind of affection - just a mutual respect and beer or six or twelve. good luck on the new gig!
from her-story :
Its ok ds, I'll be fine. I don't think its my stereo as much as its the area where I live.
from chakra-chick :
NewWifey is my hero! Glad she no longer resembles someone out of a bad sci-fi movie! Congrats on the new opportunity---glad you are happy with the turn of events. Hope you have a fantastic weekend dear...and wish New Wifey a Happy St. Patricks' day from me! ~smooches~
from nilliem :
Whoo Hoo for your dangerself! Good to know NewWifey is back to herself. And I too, backtracked, ala Witty. Ummmmmmm...::evil grin::
from moosehunter :
Wow man! Better conditions? Sounds good. Enjoy the new work schedule. I've just been offered the opportunity to make mine a little worse, but that's actually good with our company. It's means less human interaction with pointless butt-holes and therefore less chance of a jail sentence for multiple murder! Nice to see new-wifey/frankenwifey's finally ok. Some day I'll write an American Horror Story about it and you'll recognise bits and curse me for stealing your history and the royalties! Life is getting better day be day! Nice to hear you online again man and I've exhorted other people to leave me notes other than you. Moosehunter. (Weary and wacky and wielding a serving spoon)
from bluemeany :
Aww, look at you, Mister Pluggy Pluggerton! You think because you're some bigshot radio man you can convince me to write bad erotica? Well you CAN'T. But you CAN make me say congrats on the new happy work schedule -- Congrats!
from mrscoble :
I knew it. The pain I'm feeling right now... it's the same one I feel every time someone I like is a damned commie. ::sobs::
from outfoxed :
Let's see. Hours get better, more exposure, same pay rate. Hmmm. Have to intro for Rush and Bill. The horror. Have you not yet learned that whoring is honorable? Boy, I sure hope your bosses see your upwardly mobile self as a BAD thing! Why, they'd likely start thinking weird things, like, "Hey, Mike Wallace just retired, howzabout rollin' the dice on some lefty from Jersey? He's gotta be more spiffy than Michael Moore." And they'd be, of course, correct.
from awittykitty :
When you mentioned your illustrious DangerAss, I immediately backtracked one entry thinking I had perhaps somehow missed a nekkid shot of your lovely ass. See what a one track mind I have? Congrats on being a big shot New Yawk radio guy. I only wished I lived closer so I could hear your dulcet tones.
from her-story :
Hey, rollicking mounds of man flesh... why aren't you on FM stations? Huh? Do you not realize that my 2001 vehicle dry heaves when I turn on an AM station?
from poolagirl :
Look at what I have to put up with - from the dangerspouse himself: << You called me and I was ironing my pants. >> Er..."ironing" is a euphemism for "creaming", right? Heh. Awww, thanks for such a sweet note, Pie Rat! Really, that was an ego stroke on a massive scale. I can't believe you even remembered I called! So few women do *sigh*.....
from radiogurl :
Well damn - congrats on the cushy new job. And as to the bad erotica *cracking knuckles and flexing bullwhip and handcuffs* If that ain't right up my twisted little alley, I don't know what is. I'm sooooo there, baybeee!!
from poolagirl :
Rick Forest? Who thought up that lame ass name? It sounds like something from "The Young and the Restless" - something that Fabio would use. *puke* You're right about one thing (probably many things but let's just stick to one) - when you get too good at something they can HANG you with stupid shit. I've heard your voice, and you're a heart melter. You called me and I was ironing my pants. What a sweet moment for me to remember for the rest of my life.
from acaldwell :
well, now, i will haveta change innernet radio stations now. i will be disapointed if yours dont have a listen now linky.
from her-story :
Now, T-man, you KNOW that I live in your area... and have heard your voice through MY radio... twice... so, what will I do now that I can't occassionally and accidentally tune in while you're doing the news? HUH? WHAT WILL *I* DO?!?
from haloaskew :
Well, I would start hanging out at the truckstop again, but I'm waiting for my, um... infection to clear up. You were a good customer, darling, but you gave me more than a (your) tip, dincha?
from shortst101 :
Hey, don't be looking at my nipples!! HA HA
from eastportgrrl :
Yeah I know you men are all skeevy(except maybe you)LOL... Thanks for the note! Happy St. Patrick's day!
from jamsjunction :
And about that fishing thing..Take it from a transplanted (Proper HAHAHA!)southern girl. An old fashion cane pole works far better then those new fangled ones. Although my hunter/fisherman husband would totally disagree. They are so sports. Professional sports at that. How about an update. You always make me laugh outloud!!!
from jamsjunction :
Careful what you wish for..Keep your eyes peeled, I might just be the next hormonal crack whore!
from her-story :
Space bar is to shoot and the arrow keys are to direct the cannon up or down. Geez, man, its not that hard...
from beckers-j :
Gummi bears, mozzarella and corn flakes - it's to die for. Kidding! Although, if you decide to try it out, let me know what you think. ;) Thanks for stopping by, and I'll be sure to let Ted know you're on his side.
from smedindy :
Oh, man. I just shooed my wife out of the room to do that - she came back in, though!
from candoor :
maybe he was faking the syphillus too, but then, it's all speculation 'til the fat lady sings... by the way, I heard the word chocolate and had to drool...
from malthus :
Dude, don't know a big hairy guy in a thong unitl yo...no...I take that back. You're right. Funny you mentioned me working in talk radio before - I'm about to produce a voiceover DVD to highlight my skiiiiills. Getting ready to thrust myself into the market...thong and all. Ciao baby!
from zencelt :
Only you... I do put out warnings before I go off the deep end. Hey, I will take a bottle of vodka and some high quality, dark chocolate. I might be PMSing...
from moosehunter :
Dangerspouse. I don't know why you're the only one who leaves me notes. Most of my readers are local (ish) and tell me things personally. You're the only one across the pond who talks. My latest entry's a bit depressing, but it explains why I've been getting nastier. Always nice to hear from you. Drop me a line. You've not said anything in a while. How's the gym and how's Frankenwifey? Moosehunter.
from chakra-chick :
Awwww Tom...NewWifey Can't be all that bad? Nevertheless, I glad you approve of my 'hottie' choice. Hope you are well and will be gracing us with your presence soon again... ~smooches~
from serenaville :
Thanks for the comment in my space! I appreciate learning the distinction, and will be certain to inform my oh-so-(playfully)-smug husband. It was nice to have you visit the 'Ville. Take care. :)
from malthus :
Dude...show me the money and I'm yours!!!
from divacowgirl :
Thanks! I think I'm safe from the tsunami so far.
from lumenatrix :
Thanks, danger. I actually have two chocolate cigars left... Perhaps one for him and one for me? Or is that a waste of good chocolate and I should just put my boot up his ass?
from cosmicrayola :
Sure, you can steal my jokes anytime, but it's about time for an update isn't it?
from talktomuch :
Thanks for leaving me a comment, I passed it along to Hubby who is now playing the wounded soul. Heh heh. Anyway, I'm glad that your Corgi is alright and I wanted to thank you for posting that entry, I shared it with my family tonight just before dinner and now my kids are running around the house playing fisherman and screaming "Casey No". The kids think that's part of fishing, sort of like when you're playing golf and you have to yell "Fore".
from her-story :
Yeah, well, that didn't stop him from being all snarky to me since he was accepted into a PhD program. THAT'S why I think its funny! Well, I don't have a whole lot else to embrace. So, quit ruining my fun.
from acaldwell :
OMG!!! fresh corgi steaks!!! what a trip!!! good thing new wifey(tm) knew how to take that hook out!!! whew!!
from candoor :
as usual, I'm left speechless... well, sort of... laughing and cheering on your adventures can be quite addictive... luckily you don't do this every day :)
from hcatty :
Alright! The proof is posted, my friend. One thing though. How is NewWifey at building a room on? Heh heh heh....
from zencelt :
Alright you pain in the ass. Not only did you pick on my spelling error (shameful you), but somehow you made me leave a scathing reply in someone else's notes. So, you back now? Huh?
from portia12 :
I ended up reading it all afterward. Your entries are the best. I especially enjoyed the shopping mall story! Thanks for your comment.
from her-story :
OH MY GOD... I'm laughing my ass off... you are a complete and utter goofball. I love that, ya know. Um... when you practice casting, as I did for MANY hours in my youth, GO OUTSIDE... and instead of tying an actual LURE onto your line, tie washers. This way no one ends up in the emergency room or on the local news. When I was a kid, I could cast very well, but I had issues hooking a worm onto the hook. It seemed so wrong to take this squirming gross icky thing onto a hook so some stupid fish could eat it. My dad was a *serious* fisherman that put his hunting-gathering skills ahead of his family. My mom STILL can't talk about her years as a hunting and fishing widow. All I know is that MY dad is NOT allowed to take the boys anywhere where there are hooks or bullets. (Trust me) The boys fish, and hook their own lines, and I don't have to touch the worms. I, instead, use salmon eggs or something jarred in a neon-colored chemical to keep it from living. Hope NewWifey is feeling better...
from bethany9 :
I love fish. Anyho... little you know! Wine in a box? You underestimate me! For your info, we had a few bottle of a 2003 Michaud Marsanne Chalone
from moosehunter :
I'll save you a poisonous aphid. If I knew the address, I'd post it to you. I'll just have to scan it in and Email you it!
from hcatty :
That photo of Becca will be posted on Friday morning, and it'll come down Monday morning. I posted that in an entry before I realized you might not see it lol SO - What kinda stakes are we lookin at here? What do I get when Becca wins? ;o)
from malthus :
Hey DS, Thanks for dropping in on me and leaving that oh-so-complimentary note. Yeah, well (in regards to your comment) great writing deserves some credit - especially in the world of Blog, where great writing is somewhat hard to come by. Oh and the kid...I think it might be the cable guy's, but the jury is still out... Chris
from chicagojo :
I spent one weekend at the lake without a hook even on my line, and it was some of the best fishing I've ever done. I think we'd get along well in our waders. Also, RE: the note you left me in my guestbook, are you handing me a piece of New Wifey? Sign me up! I could use a tile backsplash in my kitchen.
from goingloopy :
Thank you for adding me as a favorite. I'm all aflutter... :)
from bitterwineuk :
hey, thanks for dropping in on my survey. I don't how long you've been following me (or had an obsession with Mr Squarepants) but did you know I have a SBSP fish tank. :) I will be back. Becca
from radiogurl :
Cute fish story, and I want your recipe for Corgi a la King. Also, is it adaptable for mutt or do you require choice cuts?
from invisibledon :
That is true and it is probably my distrust of mass media and not a conspiracy to brain wash us all and is just simple capitalism. I only watch movies for the most part on TV and I love the Olympics so I suffer through most of the commentary but I'm very nearly all the way to the library and have many books I'm reading right now and ones with my son too. Thanks for an actual comment and not just the typical yeah yeah or you are so full of it and then not say why either way, hope things are well with you.
from poked2x :
I'm sorry everyone gets hurt at your house, but I had to tell you that your entry made me laugh till I cried. Thanks!
from mrscoble :
Yes, Christmas shopping. With luck, I'll have it all done before summer hits.
from cosmicrayola :
How could I miss that????? I just came back after reading your comment on Poolagirl's diary. I was so concerned about your dog and excited about talking fish stories that I completely missed that excellant butt shot of yours! To hell with your dog! To hell with the fish! Nice Ass!!!
from moosehunter :
I can sympathise with your whole 'don't want to drag a fish around by the lip' thing, being mostly Buddist (with a bit of Bastard thrown in). I've never been fishing but, being allergic to most fish, it's not a surprise. I showed your fishing entry to my colleague who's a keen fisherman and he laughed until he had to go into the gents!!! (Read into that what you will.) He saved the shark pic on his hard drive at work. Don't know whether he classes it as porn (he IS a fisah enthusiast as I mentioned.) Since you went away for what seems like a decade and came back to writing a while ago I've noticed that it seems that it's others that have started to suffer other than you. Have you got over your 'pink foam/attacked by vultures' years d'you think? Moosey
from jcelyn :
I laughed so hard I think I wet my pants! You're exactly my kind of fisherman DP, we've gone drift fishing for years and mostly it's a nice day on the lake. Do you live in an insane asylum? :)
from hcatty :
Hmm. She's being squeamish about the actual scar. There's a picture of the staples BEFORE she had them taken out, will that work? Her terms are that the picture will be posted for 3 days, after which it shall be removed or I will suffer a fate far worse than death.
from chakra-chick :
Oi Tommy! First you and your ankle, then Wifeys' forehead and now Caseys' furry cheek...you gotta get your house FengShui-ed or something! Yeah-at least you caught something-even if it just happened to be that of a four-legged doggie variety! Lovely weekend to ya! ~smooches~
from im2evil4u :
What’s a normal day in the DangerHouse like?
from hissandtell :
Ernest Hemingway would be proud of your blokin' accomplishment, darling. I bet HE never caught a dog - well, not on a line, anyway. Fishing shallow muddy outback billabongs for barramundi and yellowbelly and sleepy cod presents quite the challenge for a sheila like me, who learned to fish in the wide open spaces of the ocean and is used to assessing the water for depth and clarity and temperature before choosing the appropriate line, lure and hook to haul in all those Pacific sharks and stingrays and dugongs and dolphins with gay abandon. (Oh, come on; I always throw them back. I don't even eat fish - or chatty marine mammals either, for that matter.) Anwyay, all I've managed to successfully hook here in the bush is my husband's willy quite a few times when my casting has been obstructed by pesky high banks and bloody ubiquitous gum trees. These days I'm deemed simply too dangerous to be allowed to arm myself with a rod of any kind, so I'm restricted to sitting on the bank catching marron on a bit of string with bread on the end. Bastards. Love, R xxx
from cosmicrayola :
Ahh the memories. Picture it, Lake Winnapasakie, New Hampshire in the summer of '89. Me, my Fenwick Golden Eagle graphite rod, my Possum Belly 52 compartment tacklebox fully loaded and enough Hula-poppers to last a lifetime. I worked nights as an auditor at the resort. Spent every day down on the dock. Never caught a thing. Back in Portland, incoming tide I could fill a pail with Mackeral in 30 minutes. Yup, salt water fishing is the only way to go if you actually want fish. I feel bad for the pup. Hope he's ok after this.
from mrscoble :
"I don't know" says it all. Gorb says that's almost a legitimate answer. I'm just happy to hear you caught something.
from goingloopy :
Gee, and all my cats ever get stuck in their mouths are pieces of plastic bag that, despite years of evidence and many piles of cat chuck to the contrary, they still consider to be a digestible food stock. But, on the plus side, NewWifey got some practice pulling metal things out of someone's head, so when she goes for the needle-nose pliers, she'll have her technique down. Hopefully, though, there will be no further catastrophes at DangerHouse in the near future.
from nicim :
i'm trying to hard to find something to say. but speechless is the only adjective coming from my brain. NewWifey to the rescue!! Yes... XXOO N
from wildrosie :
First, I feel terribly slighted since you never sent ME any Mako shark steaks. Then again, I do prefer Thresher shark, but one can't be picky, can one? Now, unless you've gone Asian on us, I hardly think you would enjoy corgi steaks. I'll wager they are too tough anyway. My cat suggests marinating Casey in a pleasant sauce...but she's Himalayan and French, so what can you expect? But seriously, poor Casey! Hopefully the punctures won't get infected. ~Rosie~
from yeahimadork :
Your wife kicks ass. And it's clear who the femme is in the DangerHouse. *coughBetteMidlerlovercough*
from hcatty :
O_O ... To be honest, I'm a little queasy right now, with the image of not only staples in your wife's forhead, but a hook sticking through Casey's mouth. BUT! Becca wants to compare scars with NewWifey, as she had staples in her stomache after surgery last year.
from awittykitty :
I would think fishing in a Jersey waterway, you might be able to hook an old Mafia informant with a block of cement tied to his leg or something. At least they wouldn't put up as much as a fight as poor Casey.
from outfoxed :
Hmmm. Catch and release stuff. It's sporting but seems to be favored only by those who carry discount cards at the local fishmonger. Come on down South and I'll put ye on some ferocious bass that'll surely rattle your Rapala. Just leave the dog to home, okay?
from poolagirl :
OMG! Poor Casey! I'm glad NewWifey came to the rescue. And why, dear one, do you have WELDING GLOVES? At first read, I thought you said WEDDING GLOVES. I thought: What in the hell are wedding gloves? And then I read it again and saw what you had really written, and it made more sense. But now, it doesn't make sense! Most people do NOT have welding gloves. Only you, Mr. Danger. Only you. Mkae sure NewWifey uses a needle-nosed pliers when she performs her own brain surgery later. And for God's sake, don't try to help her!
from doobeedoobee :
Great to see you back Dangerspouse. Hope NewWifey is feeling better and thanks for consistantly bringing me to laughter tears.
from jcelyn :
Hope NewWifey is feeling better. Lucky you were there to play Superdangerspouse to the resue!
from hcatty :
OH you make me laugh! Usually at inopportune times, but there is ALWAYS laughter! Rest assured, the suspense is so high, it could've been a member of the mile-high club a LONG time ago. ;o)
from f-i-n :
Actually, it looks like a silver crown on her head, the kind that a princess would wear...Hugs to you!
from chakra-chick :
Awwww...I'm sorry Tom sweetie, but this long distance thingy really wasn't working for me at all...untill we will be together agian; he's just keeping me company, K? By the way, no kidding, the GREEN TEA thingy really works-I lost 3.5kg in about 9 days (but thats coz I excercised too). Have a lovely weekend dear. ~smooches~
from star-cross-d :
for easy weight loss. drink green tea. alot. it speeds up your metabilism. totally awesome, not gunna lie its the easy way out. i, eternal chubby kid, lost a whole pant size in a like 3 weeks.... excercising never did that for me (stupid fitness) but yeah. just htought id share that.
from hcatty :
OUCH! Poor NewWifey. Hope he gets all better real quick like so you can have a gym again ;o)
from onewetleg :
maybe she could just wear a very stylish helmet whist stopping herself from breathing by inhaling toxic particles. just a thought. she wears one while riding motorcycles, right?
from smedindy :
Thanks for the comment. Don't be a stranger! And ouch, staples in the head!
from moosehunter :
No unnecessary humour (from a lardy British guy). Just nice to see you write again man. See ya in the funny pages, Dangermountain...
from wench77 :
Wow, does this mean you're gonna get even fatter? I mean, is she gonna get the work done on the gym? (see I'm more concerned about you than her hairline... lots of people pay big money to get surgical steel body mods and jewelry like that! She's lookin goooood!) Or maybe you could put her up high somewhere and run UP and down and UP and down tending to her every need? (beer, sinus stuff, large macho mechanical playtoys, more beer) Thanks for a great entry. It is so wonderful you all create so many catastrophes with such good humour (do you REALLY get along that jollily at home??)... we appreciate the chronicling when you get around to it. cheers! ps, I still owe you something in exchange for the DangerMix.
from hg88 :
Hello! :) It is good to hear from you! Thanks for checking out my myspace. I don't update it as much as I should, but I do update it more than I do here... I dunno, I've just lost my writing motivation, which is sad because I'm forgetting a lot of really cool things. Ah well, I guess. Hey, in two months when you're on next (:P) you should run over to myspace and send me an e-mail with YOUR e-mail, and maybe we can hook up on MSN or something? Well, not hook up, but you know what I mean. I think. Stop being dirty!!! Heh, anyway, hope things are going well with you. I will hopefully talk to you later! ~Sasha
from yeahimadork :
As a redhead, I resent your disparaging comments. If I weren't so pigheaded, truculent, belligerent, bumptious, stubborn, and obstinate, I'd be offended. And that pic of the wife in Poolagirl's diary just shows how clearly sedated she has to be all the time to live with you. I've long suspected, but now I know for sure. She's got a nice rack, though. If you were a real man (insert joke here) you would have shown YOURS. I look forward to your next update in 48 days.
from awittykitty :
So if wifey(tm) is frankenwifey? Does that make you DangerIgor? Glad she's ok and I think a Higgens library sounds pretty groovy. Maybe you could bench press "War and Peace".
from amberstone :
Wow, glad NewWifey is okay! I was so unprepared to read that she got hurt. My best to both of you here's to a quick recovery. *raises a beer*
from bluemeany :
You have no idea how badly I want a reciprocating saw now. NewWifey(tm) is my hero.
from mrscoble :
It's not just redheads. Girls raised to know their tools and destruction methods are stubborn. Besides, the respirator makes it hard to see what you're doing.
from nilliem :
Hey!! Ouch. Dude, I hope the girls and all are getting back to normal.
from poolagirl :
Dang! What a nasty-ass accident - told only the way YOU can tell it to make me laugh. Dang! Sore-boobed wifey must have one hell of a headache. Give her a gentle hug for me and hand her the remote for the TV.
from bigpimpinmba :
With all the random injuries, I think your (and wife's) last name must be (Dangerspouse) "E. Coyote... Supergenius". And I'm glad to hear that I have a great rack in your dreams of me, you big feyg.
from her-story :
OH GEEZUS MAN... I'm so glad you have compassion for your injured wife (*waves to wifey*)... hope she feels better soon!
from cosmicrayola :
Hey! Everone likes a little ass, nobody likes a wise one. (Brat)
from chakra-chick :
As we in South Africa would say - "EINA" - (translation-Ouch)---poor Wifey! I hope she feels better soon. Don't you dare stay away for so long again! Miss you lots! Take Care. ~smooches~ Faz
from shortst101 :
WOW.....I swear you guys always have something going on. Glad that she's doing okay. Hugsss, miss ya.
from goingloopy :
Redheads are not stubborn. We're NOT. We are just passionate in our beliefs. That said, I hope NewWifey(tm) makes a full recovery and that the removal of those staples doesn't hurt as much as it looks like it would.
from radiogurl :
The Frankenwifey look is a good one for her. And the more I read about her, the more I'm wondering if she's related to MC... Stories soon to follow...
from outfoxed :
Oh man, I hope she heals quickly. Thassa wicked cut.
from cosmicrayola :
So all redheads are stubborn idiouts, huh? I resemble that remark! Take it back or I'll hold my breath til my face turns blue! Seriousley, I'm glad she's ok. Alcohol = powertools = disaster. Basic Math 101
from wildrosie :
Jiminy Crickets! I think you might need to get a mistress just to take care of Frankenwifey! Then again, having you as her devoted slave might work OK too! *LOL* Oh, and when she's finished there, I have a bathroom addition that has been sitting for 2 years now...But truly, I'm glad that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and hopefully she will be back to normal soon. ~Rosie~
from haloaskew :
I saw your comment to Crazy4Muffin tonight (2/5/06). You lurking bastard whore-man! POST. NOW. Or no blowjob for you, sailor.
from crazy4muffin :
A rotten egg isn't anything the ingredient "copious amounts of bourbon" cannot cure. And if that glass comes off your face leaving a hearty nutmeg mustache, then you have made the ultimate nog. Or was that just my family.
from wendyloo :
well I ended up staying around here for now, just went cheap and stopped paying, but thanks for caring about lil ole me :)
from amberstone :
You said: "Or maybe I'm actually - despite all protestations to the contrary - just that low class after all." Maybe. But *real* low class is when you must have the can of jellied cranberry on a tray, cut up into slices right where the can indenting the jell. Now, THAT'S class! Heh...
from hcatty :
And one more note, just for old time's sake. Teehee.
from hcatty :
OH! And my mom makes the BEST eggnog. Alcohol free. Because I can't get her to make it with. Or give me the recipe.
from hcatty :
Happy New Year really really really really really late.
from lasweetthing :
I will be locking this diary up soon! You can find me at jalepenogirl
from smiletenshi :
Beautiful! This will surely grace my table next Christmas, regarding I have a moment between diaper changings. <3
from chakra-chick :
Thanks for the recipe...I mysef have never had eggnog ever-I did, however, have a taste 'egg-flip'. Thanks for the recipe, I might try it out sometime...omitting the booze, of course. And where is the cookie recipe? You can't hold out on us...
from hg88 :
You! Happy new year to you as well, darling. :) I haven't been updating much, but what little I have been is at http://www.myspace.com/reneedarkmoon if you are interested at all. *shrug* Anyway, I'm glad to hear from you! I miss your updating regularly a lot, as you just have a unique way of putting things that makes me laugh. I hope you're doing well! ~Sasha
from clarity25 :
I'm so glad you're back, Mr. Spouse. Happy New Years. Best wishes to you and NewWifey(tm) in the year 2006.
from onewetleg :
the talk of egg yolks and rum. so hot. come fuck me danger
from acaldwell :
i dont drink the goo, but i have my own goo, spam and cheese sammichs and ice cold milk!!
from haloaskew :
I only forged a solid relationship with Nog in my early 30's. I'm lucky to pick some up at the store before beginning to slurp down the bottle of spiced rum I buy during the holidays, so I'll pass on the homemade treatment (until I get some patience). So are you BACK now on a semi-regular basis at D-land, or merely teasing us? You are SUCH A MAN WHORE. Hence, I heart you.
from candoor :
Merry Happy New Year (again :)
from nilliem :
Happy New Year, man! Someday I'll have the chance to try the 'real' nog...till then, the goop it is!
from treewillow :
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! And where are my cookies? I want whipped shortbread cookies :).
from poolagirl :
You have turned into Martha Dangerstewart! Holy crap, Batman! "Saffron" eggnog? This is coming from a guy who put a ferret on his face and posed for a pirate picture? Dang, man!
from lumenatrix :
The only kind of egg nog I can stomach is the uncooked kind. Mmmmmmm.... raw egg... Since most eggs are pasturised at this point I have no problem staring down the threat of salmonilla. I laugh at it through my liquored up haze. Hahaha. As kids, though, we had root beer floats. My mom doesn't like nog in any form.
from awittykitty :
Egg Nog? Ya mean Christmas spackle with a bird flu chaser. MMMM. Yum. (wretch). I think wifey(tm) is definitely onto something there, Dangerspouse. Oh well. Have a great 2006. Love, wit.
from nixtress :
Let me add to the last note: unbroken and UNSURGERIED appendage. And Ick-yay on the og-nay. I can't even stomach the storebought, cartoned stuff. I have that neverending image of eggs in my head that just won't let me put it near my mouth. It's an egg phobia, maybe. Or maybe, it's a snot-like-consistency phobia. Who knows? At any rate, enjoy yours and I'll settle for a nice vanilla creme from Starbuckets.
from nixtress :
Happy, happy, happy, happy Unbroken-appendaged New Year! May 2006 overflow with lots of grace, oral sex, good health and happiness for you and your wifey. :)
from her-story :
I kinda thought that's what Runny Honey was... but it was more fun waiting for you to explain it. *pffft*
from her-story :
And, I, too, should thank Dr. Tubal Ligation... tho a little too late.
from candoor :
Happy Merry Merry Happy and every day too, may 2006 be stupendous year for you (and all those you love :)
from candoor :
I never had real egg nog... in fact, I don't remember the last time I had cartoned egg nog... many years, at least... does egg nog come in chocolate? :)
from her-story :
What the HELL is "runny honey?" By the way, HAPPY 2006, or rather, I hope that it's happier than 2005. Does that make sense? :)
from chaosdaily :
i love eggnog because my mother used to make the raw kind like you do to get nutrition into us when we were sick, and it was easy to drink with a sore throat. yummy! i drink the storebought stuff, but much prefer homemade!!
from yeahimadork :
Jesus, it's about time you turn your notes back on. Eggnog is disgusting. Besides teeming with raw eggs, I can't drink anything called "nog". I don't even know what that is, but the word nog is enough of a deterrent (unless of course, it's called "cheesenog", then all bets are off. Mmmm... cheese). Toll House cookies rock the house. They taste just as good (ok, I'll say it - usually better) as homemade, and don't make a mess of my kitchen. Which is why I show the people I care around the holidays how much I love them - by spooning dough out of a tube onto a cookie sheet and baking for 9-11 minutes. Tasty! ps - I'm glad to see you updating again.
from niceguymike :
You have me at a disadvantage, sir. *I* had to make do with just myself, a Pie-Rat hat and a digital camera held at arm's length. I had no magnificent facial hair, a lovely crew member, an eye patch or any of the other things that graced your photos. Oh, and I completely hate eggs, so I'll pass on the nog. I'll raise a toast to you if I ever get ahold of more Whidbey's Loganberry Liqueur, though. Indiana is not one of the great wine states of the world, unfortunately.
from wendyloo :
I prefer the fresh from my local dairy variety with some Capt. Morgans. Yummm. Too much work for the orginal.
from mrscoble :
I'm one of the unwashed that prefers the store bought goop as well. No shame here. I was raised on it, and can't let a single holiday season pass without bringing some home at least once. This year, I tried out SoCo's stuff. Without the whiskey, of course.
from cosmicrayola :
I used to make my own. Much better. I made it without the acohol though, because my kids loved it too. I would add my Captain Morgan spiced rum to my glass. Ahhh. I can taste it now. These days, I buy the store-bought. Although it's ok, it never quite lives up to the home-made.
from bluemeany :
Hooray, an update from you! Drink some extra nog for me this year, okay? In fact, get totally PLASTERED for me this year. And make out with people. And then I will be vicariously fulfilled. Happy New Year!
from la-blue-eyez :
I hope you and your wife have a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!
from smiletenshi :
Sad excuse! Get your arse back here. Needless to say, your airplane expose had me rolling in the computer chair. Tell me, did you ever end up getting off - or just her? O_o
from lasweetthing :
I think thats just a poor excuse guys use, cause they can't keep there word or commitments! Besides, if I did cut him off...it would only be for like one time, not days, weeks, months, etc... I'm not cruel. Trust me, my hubby has the best world, I just think he should be a little more appreciative. Have a nice day ;o)
from hcatty :
Missed you, you crazy man!
from candoor :
and let that be a lesson for ya!... oh wait, I forgot to reprimand you for staying away so long... and you are right, you do attract a lot of lesbians, after all, I am a lesbian in a male body... these snippits from conversations that may never have happened make sense in some alternate universe, ultimately, but right here and now, welcome back my friend and hope your show never ends...
from lasweetthing :
Nice to see you back ;o)
from chakra-chick :
yay! I'm so glad that you have returned!
from tuckandsophi :
It's about damned time! Sheesh! You can't retire! Who would we pick on then? Who to plunder? Ooops! You caught poolagirl writing with our log-on. Bitch!
from mrscoble :
Holy crap, you're alive, and for a change, you didn't do it to yourself. I'm impressed. The hubby, he loved the guest entry on hissandtell's diary. Good stuff.
from la-blue-eyez :
I'm glad you're back! I've missed ya!
from bigpimpinmba :
Welcome back. Nice entry...... Dick.
from her-story :
Damn and I just left a note at hissy's telling you to TURN them on again. I guess you miss us, eh?
from radiogurl :
Well I'll be darned. Not only have you been retrieved from semi-hermitdom, but you've turned your notes on again. Bravo and all that rot - but I'm still the ugliest ;)
from nilliem :
OOOOhhhh, you just made my week!! I'm so happy to see you are back!
from beetilda :
It was excellent! Rah for Hissy, for getting you back!
from nicim :
at long last - i know what all the ruckus is about. Long Live Dangerspouse. unlike your other rabid fans, I can wait through your long silences by simply reading your archives. After which....I sic on you the boobalicious wonderfulness of hissandtell to assure more regular updates.
from hissandtell :
Smooch, possum. Come back quickly to us with a "How I very nearly blew off my own dick with a particularly explosive Catherine wheel during the fourth of July fireworks at Dangerhouse, except that NewWifey(tm) narrowly managed to put out the flames with her nasal secretions because she was snorting so much" story, please darling! Much love, R xxx
from nixtress :
Miss your updates like crazy. I hope you and yours have a great 4th of July weekend. Be safe and know we're all patiently (some impatiently) waiting for you to come back.
from allegedwife :
Did you fall into a hole or something? Come back........please
from pandionna :
Yo. Where you at?
from lumenatrix :
I hope all is well in the Dangerhouse. Come back soon...please...pretty please
from hg88 :
Dangerboy! I miss you! :( You have vanished without a trace! All I can say is that I hope you, NewWifey(tm), and Casey are okay.
from plucky4 :
Come back! Please?
from her-story :
Ok, I'll bite... are you in the witness protection thing?
from wench77 :
Is it my imagination or have you disappeared? Oh, it is MY FAULT!! I have not yet sent your thankyou prezzie for the Dangermix and you are pouting... or maybe sobbing in disappointment! Maybe I'll just wrap up the Fat Chicks in Bondage and send it, and then you can watch it and have something to post about....
from haloaskew :
Are you ever coming back, or must I resort to inventing a contraption that will allow me to gulp my own piss, in order to duplicate the feeling you give me? But then again, it's not quite the same. You're like Mountain Dew...with a extra weird twang. I believe the secret ingredient is dog spunk. (COME BACK, even if it's only to defend yourself and the contents of your stomach)
from bluemeany :
Damn, your wife's disease sounds even worse than the Kuwaiti Crud. By the way, I checked, and they don't sell burqas at the bazaar. Would you like a lovely bronze camel souvenir instead? Or maybe some fake silver jewelry? I bet I could buy someone's daughter if you need one of those. Just let me know ...
from nilliem :
Dear Danger, I owe you tribute, no doubt. I missed 7 of the total, and the songs now rock my kids world. Best house cleaning mix I've ever had. Do you like rhubarb? Spicy rhubarb? I'll email you for specifics, but just thought I'd admit in public what you'll be getting. Eventually
from bexkaos :
dammit danger, could you update more than once a month, not that i live vicariously through you, but the suspense as to how your going to maim/murder/disfigure/russle up a sweet supper is really... i wouldnt say killing me... annoying me sure... le sigh..
from imaphatpig :
Funny that you should offer because laundry happens to be my FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE ever! I shit you not. I LOVE doing laundry.
from xquzme :
Best descriptive writing on DLand. You're a helluva writer, Danger. BUT. Could you PLEASE add some kind of a warning about weblinks? The "pepper in ass" link is probably not something I want my IT boys to know I hit at work. A-hem. (What is UP with people anyway?!) Glad NewWifey(tm) is on the mend -- and as for you, mister, really the only answer to a sprain is copious amounts of painkillers. And beer.
from iambucket :
Nope. No way. Regardless of your profession...and my understanding of your rules....I'd kick your butt if you disappeared when I was ill. The LAST thing I'd give ya was any bootie too, that's for damn sure! Sorry, but yet one more point to add to the "101 reasons DangerSpouse is an ass" List! Glad wifey is feeling better...quite an experience! Too bad you didn't break your mouth too when your accident occured. Oh but why is it, despite all of that, that I still adore you so?? *sigh* Must just be that small warm place in my heart you keep tugging at. Btw- because of your actions, you will NOT be getting any more pictures, my friend! *w*
from sasori-gal :
Hi there! Thanks for your note~ it made me feel so much safer (NOT) that I swear I'm going to sleep in bug net tent for the days I'm here!! More importantly, thanks for introducing yourself and your great diary! That last entry had a little of everything~ hope you're out of DangerLand.
from kitchenlogic :
Thanks Tom! I'm going to a) slow down and b) stay off the moon! And when in the hell did you drop off of my Buddy List? Probably when I felt the need to alphabetize the damn thing. No wonder you hadn't updated in a while! Well, you had - I just didn't realize it. Must go re-alphabetize that damn list!
from smiletenshi :
wtf, DS? Ew... figging? :\
from nypizzas2 :
Thank you Lord Spouse. A comment from you is worth a million from a mere mortal.

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